Thinking of moving to France – or spending more time here – and secretly worried you’re annoying every French person within a 5 kilometre radius?
In this video, I walk you through 10 unwritten rules of French society that nobody explains at the airport – from the power of “bonjour” to the mysterious world of l’apéro, tipping, “râler”, and why everyone says “on verra” when they really mean “no”.
👋 Bonjour, I’m Johnny. I’m French, I escaped for a while, came back with a vengeance, and now I explain my own country to people who suspect France is basically brie, wine and a permanent shrug. If you’re a future expat, retiree or France-obsessed human who wants to live here without everyone quietly hating you… this one’s for you.
🇫🇷 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
• How to use “bonjour” and “au revoir”** so people don’t think you’ve walked into their living room and opened the fridge.
• When to use “vous” vs “tu”, and why going straight to “tu” can feel like handing over your medical file.
• How to behave in bakeries, small shops and markets so you move from “random foreigner” to “Ah, on vous a gardé ça”.
• The real rules of tipping in France, and how to read the bill without starting a one-person economic revolution.
• Why “associations” (clubs, choirs, pétanque, hiking, heritage groups) are where friendships and gossip actually happen.
• How to complain in French (râler) with people instead of about them.
• How to decode soft “no”s like “on verra” and “ça va être compliqué”.
• What really happens at l’apéro (and how not to weld yourself to the bowl of chips).
• Why France prefers discretion over show-off energy, and how to read the room.
• Which topics belong under “vie privée” (private life) and when you can finally talk politics, pensions and the school system for three hours.
If you’re planning to move to France, retire here, or just want to understand how French people actually work in daily life, this is your unofficial social survival guide.
🤝 SUPPORT THE CHANNEL:
If my videos help you feel more confident about moving to France, you can support my work here:
PATREON: https://patreon.com/c/JohnnyBenoit
BUY ME A COFFEE: https://buymeacoffee.com/johnny_benoit
GO FUND ME: https://gofund.me/0d83c9eff
MY FRENCH NOVEL:
On Amazon US: https://a.co/d/hYPjyjV
On Amazon UK: https://amzn.eu/d/bEHFNyL
On Amazon France: https://amzn.to/4mVHvKJ
On Amazon Spain: https://amzn.eu/d/4zCTv7C
On Amazon Germany: https://amzn.eu/d/7scuITn
on Amazon Canada: https://a.co/d/6z7b8HI
Enquiries: johnny.benoit@hotmail.com
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48 Comments
If my videos help you feel more confident about moving to France, you can support my work here:
PATREON: https://patreon.com/c/JohnnyBenoit
BUY ME A COFFEE: https://buymeacoffee.com/johnny_benoit
GO FUND ME: https://gofund.me/0d83c9eff
MY FRENCH NOVEL:
On Amazon US: https://a.co/d/hYPjyjV
On Amazon UK: https://amzn.eu/d/bEHFNyL
On Amazon France: https://amzn.to/4mVHvKJ
On Amazon Spain: https://amzn.eu/d/4zCTv7C
On Amazon Germany: https://amzn.eu/d/7scuITn
on Amazon Canada: https://a.co/d/6z7b8HI
Enquiries: johnny.benoit@hotmail.com
🇫🇷❤️Brilliant Johnny, loved "vous is the invisible electric fence". The entire video is the best crash course on French social culture. Merci 🌹
Johnny! Merci pour cette vidéo. Elle est très utile et importante pour s'intégrer. KITTIES!!!!
French and agreeing with every word of it …Bienvenue en France !
Vive la France 🇫🇷
As an American transplant who landed in France forty years ago, I can confirm that everything Johnny has laid out in this video is absolutely true!
Hello, great set of rules here, all spot on. I'm a Brit and have lived in France for a very long time so I must have broken all of your rules at least once. Anyway (shrug), c'est la vie !
Very pertinent, especially the "bise" issue, but you have forgotten the "pain au chocolat" / "chocolatine" problem.
France has already been destroyed by the crime of diversity. Good luck.
bravo for the humour – very British
Excellent ! Parfait et bien dit
Excellent cultural information
This made me laugh out loud, thank you.
I would add to "Bonjour" a firm handshake as being obligatory too. I was terrible at shaking someone's hands before moving to France, not any more.
Oh, & what about having to look someone in the eyes when chinking glasses ?
Brilliant. And absolutely true. Show this video at foreign schools during French lessons!
Interesting. In Britain also it is bad form to talk about money, ask how much someone paid for something, above all discuss salaries. As a Brit, I've lived in France 20 years and agree that you have hit the nail on the head with all your comments.
A thing that, on YT, really makes my toes curl is Americans who have moved to France, talking about how much (or how little) they pay for things, how little they pay for healthcare, how they paid in the US for education, etc etc. It comes across, to me, as a sort of insensitive showing off.
Love that -‘Everything closes just as you arrive’. So true. If we need to go to more than a couple of shops we takes sandwiches to get through the long wait for them to reopen.
You are so funny and spot on. I don’t understand l’apero, why not just have a proper meal instead, easier.
Great to see you back with your own channel. I just subscribed and look forward to watching your channel. Best regards,,, Joseph, USA.
Funny, helpful and now I'm a subscriber!
I don’t show off so that’s good. I would rather no-one invite me for apero or a meal, I don’t want to be anti-social but I’m anti- social.
Merci! This has been both amusing and confirming. I've definitely made some mistakes (pushing for "les bises" too soon, once, for example — VERY awkward) but I feel overall that I'm not being too horrible for the French people I encounter!
Monsieur Benoit ❤ I loved this video I wish I had your advice when I first arrived. It’s excellent and essential for anyone coming to visit AND live in France. Merci Beaucoup!
Fantastic video! As a first generation German Canadian in Quebec who travels the world for work, I would say these rules apply to many cultures. Or at least you can never go wrong by erring on the side of considerate, diplomatic and respectful interactions. That said, I did manage to get myself thrown out of a taxi on my first day of work in Paris, when I refused to pay the portion of the fare covering the taxi coming to my hotel. I did not know that was how it worked. I arrived at my client's office soaking wet and very late 😅
A lot of Americans I know would be fighting for their life with this whole "manners" thing. I'm talking about the people who order anything like "Yeah, GIVE me…."
Congratulations on the subscribers, would you happen to know where the chateau and jardin are at 5:20 in the video? C'est magnifique. Merci.
I would turn complaining into a competition. Oh, you think France is bad?
After now having lived in France for the last 21 years, I have come to the conclusion that La France is the world's most civilized Country _ Vive la France!
What a wonderful video to turn up just as I was finishing my coffee. New phrases to learn to put into my imaginary life in a French viliage as I become a habitué of un bistro, and then visit the fromagerie, asking for the best kind for morning coffee and afternoon aperu with Malbec! I am, by nature , quite a hermit, with limited French and even in imagination, coming out of my ‘shell’ is difficult, but I can imagine many cheerful ‘bonjours’ just for the delight of speaking to madam and perhaps admiring the neighbor’s flowers or door color in passing. Thank you for bringing life in France to such vividness, it is a delight always.
Tres bien.
Great to hear you are back, we missed you.
Great information great advice. Thank you. Love your humor.
This was wonderful…so to the point. Yes, made a few faut pas at the beginning but now ( after 12 years)…we are starting to get the idea.Your video has definitely crowned it all. Merci.
Is that Annency at 10:20??
Bonjour, merci! I thoroughly enjoyed this video. I have Subscribed.I feel like I must be preparing to move to France because these types of videos keep showing up in the algorithm for me. You click on one French video and all of the sudden you’re beginning to observe how one must behave in France. I am Canadian and find that many of these are similar here. For the most part discussing money, politics, over sharing is not desirable initially. Still, I think we probably need to learn better these lessons from France and practice them here. I admit, I am fascinated by people. I probably need to curb that when I move to France? 😄😉🤷🏼♀️👋🇨🇦❤🇫🇷
Thank you, merci. Great video.
If you are American and you give a 20% as a tip, does that help to elevate your status or do French people think to are behaving foolishly?
Who ARE you? And where have you been?;This was perhaps the best video I've seen on the subject of cultural differences: wry, intelligent, laugh-out-loud entertaining, and super informative. Kudos, and thank you.
So awesome. Thank you! Merci beaucoup!
Great video. I found recently the benefit of starting with "Bonjour Madame", "Bonjour Monsieur".
It's like a magic spell.
They appreciate it and they seem to reciprocate by allowing you more time to prepare what you say next.
Excellent !
So cute! Great video. In content and enjoyability. Looking to move to Europe but so intimidated by the French culture. I don’t know that I could ever fit in no matter how much I tried. Excited to visit again outside of Paris.
…Without “Bonjour, Mme/M” you have stepped over the cat, opened the fridge, and drank directly from the milk bottle…(my edit)
Funny, informative and outstanding. Had a grin on me all the time while watching. Absolutely loved the deadpan humour.
Wonderful, as always, thank you! So much to love about the French and their culture, and as a quiet, shy person, I adored their kindness, respect for privacy and how quiet everyone was in shops, on the train, tram, bus, and sidewalk….it was heavenly. I very much appreciate the words and phrases you are including and the context in which one would use them, it helps me to expand my French language skills!
You obviously spent a long time in Anglo-Saxon culture because you know exactly the type of expressions that make us laugh!
Super contente que tu aies ton propre canal maintenant 👍👏 Tiens… la g***le de ton ancien boss 😜 La râlerie 😆🤣 et "ils sont gentils mais fatigants" 😂 C'est trop bon !!! BRAVO 👍👏
This was a great video with all the language clips! 🎉
I love how the French are so quietly refined. ❤
A great, wonderful and funny advice to make the most of your life in France. You almost forgot one topic: the french people sometimes critisize their country BUT as a newcomer (immigrant, etc) NEVER EVER critise France. As you explained it France has been build on the culture of always better (good is NOT enough). so french people critising their own country is their way of making it better (and it works). Greetings from Paris
señor! going to France would be culture shock to me!