Gamer Gourmet: Our Top 5 Video Game Foods ft. Brian David Gilbert

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HOSTED BY
Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej

FEATURING
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Sam Young

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Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara, and Shane Madej

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– I’m Ryan. – And I’m Shane. – And welcome to “Top 5 Beatdown”, a show where we compare top fives for topics that seem completely asinine, yet somehow garner strong opinions. And to add some fun to the mix, we compare our top fives to that of a special guest.

Today’s topic is top five video game foods, and today’s special guest is a writer, performer, and general internet human. Please welcome to the Beat Zone, Brian David Gilbert! – Yes! – Hello. Hello, hello. – The man’s so nice, they named him thrice. – That’s right.

The man’s so nice that they actually have his name, his name is embroidered right over his breast. – Beautiful, beautiful. It’s great to see you again. Though, I guess I’ve never seen you. I wasn’t there. – You were on “Puppet History” – Oh, yeah. – with the Professor.

He was somewhere in video village. – I was busy! – Why can’t I be described as a near martyr? – Brian David Gilbert, near martyr. – It’s finally happened. – There it is. You got the graphic and everything, look at it. – Now, we don’t always have experts on here,

But look, you got some truck in the video game world. – Yeah, don’t wanna toot my own horn, but I do know a lot about video games, and I do know a lot about food in those video games. – So you got some skin in the game then. – I do.

I take it very personally and very seriously. – Okay. That’s perfect. – The important thing to remember here, and this goes for you too, – Oh, okay. – is respect the list. – Okay. – Okay, now, if you agree with something, that’s great. If you disagree with it, feel free

To eviscerate that person but then also remember to say, I respect the list. – Based on the fact that you think someone else may not be respecting the list. – Of course, of course. – Ryan, a lot of times, he doesn’t respect his own list. And that’s where the trouble starts.

– That’s actually where, it’s funny- – That’s where the trouble starts. – It’s almost like you’re talking to a mirror. – It starts with you over there. – You should be talking to a mirror because most of his lists break the rules. And speaking of rules, video game food,

It has to be within the world of a video game, any game, any platform. It has to be edible within that world. – [Shane] It’s gotta be in a video game. – [Ryan] And it could be a food or a liquid. So, pretty simple rules here.

– But a drinkable liquid not like piss. – No, no, no. Which is drinkable but- – Well, thank you for clarifying that. – I guess you got a point there. – Is that something that you’re mulling over? – It could be piss. – Let’s get into the list and, hang on a second, we are getting word from our ringside reporter, Steven Lim. Same guy, huh? – Yeah. – Bonjour! It’s Steven, your favorite ringside commentator. Now, I’m a big foodie and I love to travel, and eating in Paris has always been on the bucket list.

Today’s sponsor, Babbel, is one of the top language learning apps in the world and is gonna help me become a pro at ordering the dishes that I desire. Babbel is a scientifically-proven way to help you start speaking a new language in just three weeks. Its intuitive lessons designed by real language teachers help you learn a language through real-life conversations about travel, business, relationships, and more. Babbel offers a 20-day money back guarantee

And two free classes with the subscription of your choice, including a lifetime subscription. Now, instead of rubbing your stomach and groaning loudly, try out some of these. That’s the best you’ll get outta me. – [Crew Member] Nice. That was nice. You too can become a Parisian like me. Click the link to get 60% off your subscription, and let me know what language you wanna learn in the comments below. Au revoir! And back to the Beat Zone. – Well, without further ado. – [All] Let’s list! – Starting with Brian, reveal your number five, please. – Yes. – Oh, this is exciting. – My number five is Void mayonnaise – Oh! – from Stardew Valley. – Yes, yes. – Interesting, interesting. – Now, I understand that there are some people who might say, “Hey, that’s not edible,” but that’s not true. You can eat it in the game, and it hurts you a lot. It hurts you so very much.

It hurts you about 75 points, which is, I think, most of your health. – There’s health in Stardew Valley? – There is health in Stardew Valley. – Aren’t you just raising chickens and shit like that? – Well, you get tired. You fight little monsters in the cave.

– Yeah, you gotta go in the cave. – Oh, so you can get tired? Oh, my HP would always be down then. – You can’t work all day. You gotta go to bed. – Yeah, it’s very anti-hustle culture. – Gotcha. – Yes, yes. – But void mayonnaise specifically is a food item

That you can create after you use void eggs, which are these stinky little eggs that you put into a mayonnaise maker, and then it becomes this weird speckled creation. And it sells for a very high price, an extremely high price. And so, that makes me think that yes, sure, you eat it,

You’re gonna get hurt, but it’s probably gonna taste really worthwhile. – It really doesn’t look appetizing, I have to say. – It looks very bad. – [Ryan] It looks pretty gross, which is weird that you wanna eat it. – Who’s buying this stuff in town? – That’s my question, right.

There was a full play through for me where all I made was void mayonnaise, and I made so much bank. So someone’s buying it. Maybe it’s used for nonedible purposes. I don’t think that’s true, but I’m trying to think- – What are you suggesting they’re using it for? – I don’t know.

– Hey, he didn’t say it. – I didn’t say it. – He didn’t say it. – I didn’t say anything. – What are you sayin’? What are you saying? – He’s not saying anything! – I am not saying anything. – It sounds like you’re sayin’ something. – I’m not saying anything.

– You’re startin’ trouble, aren’t you? – Have there been fantastic meals in my life that have hurt me very badly? – Of course. – Absolutely. – Taco Bell every time, every time. – When I am eating 40 Chicken McNuggets, that will do 75 points of damage to my health, but I have enjoyed it very much.

And that’s how I feel about void mayonnaise. – Let’s move on to my number five. My number five is Tonkatsu from Cooking Mama. Now, there’s a lot of tasty treats on Cooking Mama. And look, let me just put a disclaimer up top here. I did not play a lot of RPG games growing up, so I’m not playing the Stardews, and the Links, the Zeldas of the world,

So I’m gonna have some weird oddball picks here. And Cooking Mama, I mean, it’s pretty on the nose, let’s be honest. – What’s that? I ain’t never played that. – Well, there’s a mama, and then she cooks. – She cooks. – And look at what she cooked.

– [Brian] I would eat that in a heartbeat. – [Ryan] I love tonkatsu. Oh, it’s so good. I mean, come on! How does your mouth not water looking at that? – It looks good. – I imagine that since it is a cooking game, you could screw it up.

But I assume if you took me outta the equation and you let Cooking Mama cook for me, be the best meal. It would be so fantastic. – I want what Mama’s cooking. – What’s her vibe? What’s she like? – I don’t know, actually. Honestly, most of this game, I just remember looking

At the food and going, “God damn, it looks tasty.” – She’s jaunty. – Whoa. – [Brian] I think she’s got that sort of sweet, maternal vibe but also she could be mischievous. – [Ryan] You smell what Mama’s cookin’? – I like it. I smell it, and I like it. That’s a nice stink.

– Anyways, let’s move on to your number five. – My number five is Cake from Minecraft. And I wanna tell you up front that there were a lot of different contenders here. One hell of a cake in Portal, and I’m also quite partial to that beautiful little pink cake in Stardew Valley. – Oh, yes. – But I picked the one from Minecraft because one, aesthetically,

I think it’s absolutely gorgeous and something I’d like to eat. That looks like a nice buttercream on top. – [Ryan] That kind of looks like a pizza. – Almost like angel food, I’m not sure. A lot of these are experiential for me, what I’m feeling when I’m playing the game.

And when you make a cake in Minecraft, it means you’ve finally reached stability. – [Brian] That’s true. – You’re out there in the woods, you’re naked, you got nothin’. – I like that. – You’re foraging, you’re choppin’ down trees, you’re mining. – What are you using to chop down the trees?

– You build an ax outta wood, or you can start by punching them. – I thought you said you were naked. – Well, yes, ’cause you start by punching them and then you take that wood and you make a wooden ax, then you get some stone, you level up, you level up.

When you finally get to the place where you can bake a nice little cake, you’ve made a nice home for yourself. – What’s the purpose of this game? You just… – You live. – You live. – Do you eat the cake in the game? – Yeah.

– What kinda question is that? – Of course. – [Ryan] What’s the animation look like when this person’s eating? Oh, it’s one of those? Yeah, yeah, like a RollerCoaster Tycoon eating. – Things fly away from it. – Little crumbs flyin’. – Oh, my God! I should’ve put food from RollerCoaster Tycoon in my list! – Oh, you flubbed it. – Ah, son of a…

– That’s some good shit. – We can start again. – Portal, I think, maybe has the most narratively satisfying cake, but I’m not gonna get too much into that in case it, I don’t know what your list looks like. – Yeah, no, don’t worry about it.

– Minecraft cake, I’d love to eat it. – It looks good. – It does look nice. – Respect the list. I respect both your lists. – It’s a cozy thing. All right, number four for me, a very important one, I would say, in my life in general

All of the sushi from Pokemon Stadium’s Sushi-Go-Round. – [Shane] That sounds… Look at- – Just take a look at this fantastic mini game. Pokemon Stadium was a game that you could plug your Pokemon red, Pokemon blue into it, and you could fight your actual things.

Or you could play a mini game called Sushi-Go-Round, which was a bunch of Lickitung. And then you would lick, and you would try to get the most expensive sushi, which I think is a great way to think about sushi in general, is just skip all the chaff, go straight for the most expensive.

– And am I safe to assume that this is also how you consume sushi, using only your tongue? – Always. Well, I will say, because of this game, whenever the sushi person isn’t looking, I do have to try it at least once every time I’m at a sushi restaurant.

Also, when I started playing this at my good friend Gabriela’s house, ’cause she had the Pokemon Stadium, I didn’t really have a full conception of what sushi was. I’d never had it. I was, like, four or five maybe at that time. But I saw that, and I saw the gusto that those Lickitungs

Were just really grabbin’ everything, and I was like, I gotta get me some sushi. – As a 4-year-old, did you know fish? Or were you like, that looks like candy? – Absolutely, there were some of them that I thought were just 100% candy. – It never occurred to me that sushi

To a child kinda looks like candy for adults. – Yeah! – [Ryan] Because it’s very presentational. It’s wrapped in a little package. – [Brian] It looks so nice. – It sort of is candy for adults. – Oh, boy is it fuckin’ good. – It’s delicious, isn’t it?

– If I had a Lickitung tongue, I would tongue it all day. – [Brian] Yeah. – He’s a tonguer. – Classic tonguer over here. – Anyways. (laughs) – That’s how he locked it down. – That’s how I lock it down. All right, let’s go to my number four. – Yes.

– My number four is The Wumpa fruit from Crash Bandicoot. – [Brian] Oh, okay. – [Shane] Oh, that looks good as hell! – [Ryan] Now I have to say, – [Shane] That looks juicy! – I was obsessed with Crash Bandicoot first off, and so much that I had all the action figures.

– [Shane] He’s got a great body. – [Ryan] And I used to love the Wumpa fruit, and I used to wish so badly I could eat it, but I couldn’t. – Yeah. – It’s kinda like when you go to someone’s house and they have a beautiful bowl of potpourri.

And you’re like, hey, fuck you. Can I actually have some fruit now that you’ve teased me? – Yeah. – Yeah. – And then usually the answer is no. – My older brother did one time bite a full chunk out of a plastic apple once. – Knowing it was plastic? – No, no, no.

He went straight into it, and then said, “Hmm, that’s not gonna work.” – Hang on a sec. (laughs) What do you imagine a Wumpa fruit tastes like? – I imagine it tasting like an apple-peach hybrid. – [Brian] Oh! – [Ryan] Crunch of an apple but the juiciness of a peach inside. – Juiciness of a peach. – And I imagine that shit just exploding all over your face.

– That sounds great. – Yeah. – And it looks good. I mean, Crash, we never really see him eat one from my recollection. – Did he have a voice? – Wow! – Yeah, that’s right. – That’s the noise he would make. – That was really good.

– He makes little weird man noises like that. There is one video game where he does talk, I think, and I hated it. I like him just making funny noises ’cause he’s like a fox or somethin’? – I believe he’s a bandicoot. – He’s a bandicoot. – From the title, Crash Bandicoot.

– Is a bandicoot an animal? – I believe that is correct. – I think it’s a real animal. Is it not? – Is a bandicoot an animal? – Yeah. – [Ryan] I didn’t even know that was an animal. He’s got jeans on, I know that.

This guy, he looks like John Cena for some reason. He dresses exactly like John Cena, actually. – He really does. I only have connected that right now. – Hang on a sec. – Have we ever seen the two of them in the same room? – Let’s get a live action with Cena.

– Now, that’s the one. – Oh! That’s so good! – That’s what I’m saying. – I think that that would be good. The “Sonic” movie was fine. I loved, you know, it was great, but it would’ve been better if- – I would fucking kill for a Crash Bandicoot movie. They’d probably make Wumpa.

The studio would make a Wumpa. – Or you could get a Wumpa at, like, Taco Bell. Taco Bell would be like, “Come on down for your Wumpas.” – I want a legit fruit. I want a legit fruit. – And I respect that. My number four Is hotdog from Eastward. – [Ryan] I don’t know what Eastward is, but I love hotdogs. – Eastward is a beautiful little game. It’s just a great RPG. And look, I know to everyone who’s looking at this right now, they’re just saying, “It’s just a hotdog.”

But it’s a rich world that you’re playing in in that game, and when I saw a hotdog in my inventory, I shouted. I was like, look at this beautiful little hotdog! – [Ryan] Did you have a hotdog for dinner that night? – No, I didn’t.

But I’ve had a lot of hotdogs since then. And even just look, it’s like the most beautiful… And understand, I think there’s ketchup on there. There’s ketchup. – And look, I put ketchup, mustard, relish, and onions on my hotdog. – Well, look, I love a Chicago dog,

But I also like a dog with just ketchup. – I’m there with you. Look, I’m a strong proponent that you eat the foods you wanna eat, the way that you eat ’em. – Are you from Chicago? – I’m not from Chicago. – You’re from Chicago. – Yeah.

– And you said you would eat an only-ketchup dog. That’s like the anti-Chicago dog. – Let me tell you what I do. I almost have two sides of a yin and yang. If I’m getting one hotdog, I’m gonna get a Chicago-style hotdog. If I’m getting two hotdogs, I’m gonna get a Chicago-style hotdog,

And then I’m gonna get another hotdog with just ketchup. – A little dessert dog. – Essentially, yes. – Oh my God! I’ve seen you do this before. – [Shane] You have! – We went to Portillo’s, and he did do this. – It’s fun! – It was that day we ordered

$60 worth of Portillo’s for the two of us. – It’s really fun! It’s really fun, and I just really love hotdogs. And this hotdog just, oh, it looks so fuckin’ good. I wanted to just crawl inside my Switch and stay there forever, just eating hotdogs.

– If I’m not mistaken though, Eastward does have a lot of good food in it. – [Shane] It does. – Cooking is an aspect of that game. – Yeah. – So, this is a bold choice to just go with the straight hotdog. – Do do you think you’ve eaten

Over a thousand hotdogs in your lifetime? – Yeah. Come on. – Over a thousand? – Over a thousand. – That seems like chump change. – I think I’ve had probably sub 600. – What? – I’m sorry. – How old are you? – I’m almost 30 now.

– I worked at a baseball park in my high school summers, and I think I had a thousand hotdogs in those three years. – You’re puttin’ the thumb on the scale there though. I feel like that’s not… – We’d be like, “All right, I’m clockin’ in. Time to eat a hotdog. How long is this shift? Four hours. That’s four hotdogs and then a hotdog for the road.” – Perfect. – Yeah. – All right, let’s move on to your number three. – Shall we? My number three is Strawberry pie from Celeste. Now, the thing about this strawberry pie is you gotta work really freakin’ hard in order to get that strawberry pie. – [Ryan] Oh, that looks good! – That’s the best strawberry pie you can have. And the thing I love about this game

Is that if you get sub, like, 10 strawberries, you can still beat the game, but then they show you this dinky little pie. It’s nothing. Okay, so if you’ve never played this game before, – [Ryan] I have not. – it’s hard as nails. It’s very difficult platformer,

And these strawberries are an extra added level of difficulty onto it. You don’t need to get ’em to win. But if you collect all of the strawberries, or at least 175, I can’t remember exactly what it is, you go out of your way and you do it,

Then you get that strawberry pie specifically. And so, you have to work super hard. Doesn’t mean anything for the game, really doesn’t mean anything at all. Oh, I spent so many hours, so many hours grinding away to get all of those strawberries, and then I made that pie, and I got that.

And I was like, oh, this is the best thing. – [Shane] It felt good, it felt good. – [Brian] Oh, it felt fantastic. – [Ryan] Now, is she higher than shit, or is she like a devil? – Oh, no, she’s a devil, but she could also be high as shit at this point.

– Yeah, I have to say, this is the only food we’ve seen thus far out of all the lists that made me very, very hungry. I love strawberry pie. – There’s a little ice cream on there. – I had never had strawberry pie before seeing this.

And then I went out of my way to buy nice strawberries and then make a strawberry pie. And it was not super good, but that was on me. It was not on the pie. – Have you ever had a strawberry rhubarb pie? – Nah! – No. – No, yes, yes, yes. No, yes!

Strawberry rhubarb is better than regular strawberry pie. – Okay. – That’s crazy talk. – No, all my rhubarb heads, chime off. – Well, all your rhubarb heads would be going, “I just want a rhubarb proper.” – No, you don’t want a rhubarb proper, and you don’t want a strawberry proper!

– I want a strawberry proper! – You want the balance. – I’ve been- – Strawberry pie, too sweet. – Oh my God! – Rhubarb pie, too tart. You put ’em together, it’s the best pie. – Go to a diner like Coco’s or Marie Callender’s- – Shut the fuck up! You don’t nothing. Am I correct? That’s ice cream on top of it – I believe so. – with little strawberries on top of there? Now, that’s nice. – That’s nice. – Ice cream on top- – The first time I had strawberry pie as a kid, I didn’t want anything else. It’s my favorite pie.

– It’s a great pie. – Anyways, let’s move on to my number three. My number three is Any animal that you kill and then grill over the campfire in Red Dead Redemption. – [Brian] Okay. – [Shane] That’s nice. – When you shoot an animal, like a bow and arrow in this game, you can usually skin them, and then you’ll have a little campfire when you save your game.

And then this guy just kind of like, yeah, he uses a knife as a fork, – He does, yeah! – which is really fun. – I think the way you’re eating it makes me more excited about the food than anything else. – Just on a knife.

– Like, there’s no salt, there’s no spices goin’ on there. It’s probably bland as hell, but the way that you’re… – It’s good. – I bet you it’s juicy. I bet you it’s nice and juicy. – How do you know it’s juicy? – Just a random rabbit out in like…

– I think so. I think it’s the context. For those of you who don’t know this game, it’s like an open world game of a cowboy in Western times, and he is hungry. – Yes, the game is that he’s hungry. (laughing) – He’s hungry. – Hungry, hungry cowboys.

– I think that’s the context. You know when he’s eating that meat, he’s so hungry. He needs the sustenance. It’s like when you watch “Alone” and someone catches a rabbit, and you know that rabbit’s just fuckin’ delicious. – Yeah, yeah. – I feel like I could go for, aren’t there alligators

Or crocodiles in that game? – Yeah, there sure are. – I think there are. Here’s the thing, you can do that if you go down to New Orleans or anything, you can get that and it’s not bad. And also, come on, this dude trying to eat me,

And then I have to take this guy out, and now I get to eat him. That feels like it’s an extra level of satisfaction. – Not to mention, a crocodile would marinate you, essentially, before it eats you. – Oh, absolutely. – Because it would spin you around in the water,

And you’d be all bloated because you would be drowned. – That’s me spinning around. – I just think it’s a delicious way to prepare food. I’ve never had food over a campfire before, And this feels like the best way. – You’ve never had food over a campfire?

– I’ve never grilled food over a campfire. Have you? – Yeah. – Okay. – Have you? – Yeah. – Oh, that sounds great. – All right. My number three is Ghosts. – Oh, okay. – Oh, interesting. – All right, Pac-Man. He gets so happy when he eats these ghosts. And that’s sort of the whole thing, right? And I was also reading, because I was doing some research on Pac-Man, that the pellets originally, sometimes they’re called Pac-Man food.

Other times they’ve been referred to as cookies. – Oh. – Oh. – And that sort of recontextualizes the whole game, knowing that this guy’s just being chased by ghosts trying to eat cookies. – Or he’s trying to eat so many cookies that he eventually sees ghosts,

And then he can eat them, which I’ve done before. – Here’s a question for you, what does consuming the cookie do to the ghost to make them edible? Because when I was a kid and I saw those ghosts, I assumed that it was like we take their little translucent form,

And then we make them solid like jelly. And that’s what makes them edible. That’s what I thought it was. – Oh, that sounds really good! – And I said, that seems good. And that’s why I’m kind of on the same page here. I think this is a good idea for food.

– Anyway, I’d love to know what a ghost tastes like. – Me too. – ‘Cause I bet it would be good. And I think you absorb their soul, which I would love to do. – I bet you Guy Fieri’s ghost would be very tasty. Just someone who ate a lot of good food

Over his lifetime. – Yeah. I think at that point, you’re kinda getting closer to the idea of cannibalism. Guy Fieri just in general would taste good. – Well, I’m imagining more is like his soul though. Like a Guy Fieri milkshake. – Oh, his soul. – His meat is seasoned, you know?

He’s got a great body. – That’s good. We don’t need to talk more about this. All right, let us go to my number two, which is Marshmallow from Outer Wilds. – Ooh! – Now, you said you’ve never grilled anything over top of a fire. – Oh wait, no, I’ve done a marshmallow. – You’ve done a marshmallow. – [Ryan] But I’ve done marshmallows. – [Shane] Now, talk to us about this marshmallow.

– This marshmallow, I know, it’s a very boring, plain thing, but if you’ve never played Outer Wilds, I won’t spoil anything for anyone. It is a fabulous game. You should absolutely play it all the way through. But I’d say the emotional core of it is this marshmallow, which does nothing for you.

You can eat it and you can revive, like, one health or you could burn it and then I think it takes away a little bit of your health, but it has no mechanical value. Absolutely nothing. But this game is a game that loops. It’s like a “Groundhog Day” situation,

So every time you go out there and die, you get brought right back to in front of that beautiful bonfire. You are calm, you are cozy, you got your marshmallow. You can just have a nice start and you know it’s a fresh new day. You’re ready to go.

For me, food is, I’d say, 70% taste, 30% emotion. And I think that that 30% of emotion right here. This game, especially as you get toward the end, again, no spoilers, oh, it’s just, it’s a beautiful marshmallow. – When you set your marshmallow on fire and it gets all black and crispy,

My mom used to tell me that would give me cancer. Is that true? – She’s not wrong. – Is there carcinogenic effects to burning the marshmallow? – It’s not good for the body. – Okay, I thought that was one of those parent things. Like, my mom also used to tell me

That if you put your hand on the scanner at the supermarket, it would burn off your fingerprints like in “MIB”. – That’s also true. – Well, that is also, yeah, it’s happened to me. – I haven’t done it to this day. – She’s just looking out for you.

– You gotta be careful out there, for sure. – Okay. – Love it, love it. – Let’s move on to my number two. And it might be a little familiar. My number two is The dots. – Oh! – Oh! – Dot dots. – Dot dots. – The fact that the dots are higher on your list than the ghosts on that list, I don’t think I can agree with that. I feel like the ghosts are better than the dots. – The Pac-Man does seem to be having a good-ass time eating those dots.

– And he generally has weaker lists than mine, so it does make sense. – Oh, my! – So we have to give him- – Respect the list! Respect. Yeah, look at you. Look at you, you’re making a fool of yourself in the Beat Zone. – Not respecting the list.

It’s just the karma that comes right back to you. – That’s right. That’s what happens when you don’t respect the list. But he looks like he’s having a good time. I would argue that when he’s killing the ghosts, he’s only doing it out of necessity because they’re distracting him

From what he really wants to be doing. – It’s almost like dots are like the little snacks you have throughout the day, a nice baby carrot and hummus. – That’s nice. Those are your snacks throughout the day? – I was about to say. – A nice Veggie Straw.

– Oh, nice fancy boy over here. – A nice Veggie Straw? What’s wrong with Veggie Straw? – Oh, the caviar chips that I have at 3:00 PM on a Wednesday. – I only like waking up to the smell of coffee and a veggie platter prepared for me

– Unbelievable! – out on the foyer. – I was being vulnerable there, okay? – Sara! Sara, join me on the veranda while we eat our carrots dipped in hummus. – My point is, the dots are like- – Your point is your list sucks! – Shut the fuck up!

And then the ghosts are like a big opulent meal that you’ll remember! – Okay, yes, yes, yes. – Okay, my number two is Mac and cheese from The Sims. – That looks disgusting. – [Shane] No, it looks so good! – [Ryan] That looks like a bowl of throw up. – [Brian] SpaghettiOs if you leave ’em out for four days, is what I’m seeing on that picture. – Early Sims, I mean, I don’t know how conscious

You guys were when The Sims one came out, but it was really confusing. I remember talking to my friend, I was like, “But what is it? What do you do?” And they were like, “You’re just people who live.” And I was like, “What?” – Making funny noises at each other.

– “You could do that?” – Yes, yes, yes. Hearing them make macaroni, you see your tired Sim, maybe he’s had a long day at work, you know? Or unlucky in love, had a hard day with the gal. – [Ryan] Making macaroni from scratch. – And you just hear him stirring macaroni in the pot,

I think has been said in a song or two. And look, macaroni is one of my favorite foods. – It is. – [Shane] It simply is. So to see my little digital guys down there eating macaroni and making the best life for themselves that they possibly can, well, it made me really happy.

– You have to admit though in your heart of hearts that does not look appetizing. – When I played the game and I saw them eating it, and they were like, “Wah, wah.” – But at face value, it’s not… – They were like, “Oh, waza,” you know? And I was like, “Yeah, waza.”

– It’s the equivalence of the “Lion King” grubs where you’re like, those should be unappetizing, but they look very appetizing. – [Ryan] But they actually do look good in that movie. – Yeah, that looks pretty good though. – Does it? – Yeah, well, okay. – It looks like fair macaroni.

– I’d eat that shit, bowl and all. – Macaroni served from a tent. – Three great lists. – A little more umami coming from this. Obviously, the Wumpa fruit, who knows what’s goin’ on there? – Ooh, Mommy. (laughs) – Yours is rather sweet, isn’t it? – Yeah, I’m surprised.

I’m not a sweet guy in general. – I think you’re a sweet guy. – I’m a very mean, terrible man. – I think you’re a very sweet guy. – You’re one of the nastiest guys I know. – What do I think of this list?

– I like it ’cause it’s down to the basics. – Midwestern-ass list over here. – Absolutely. – He’s got cake, hotdogs, and mac and cheese. Is this the menu at a OC fair, or is this fuckin’ your list for the Beat Zone? – I’m a man of simple pleasures.

– Yeah, I can tell. – Nice carbs, yeah. – What’s number one, sliced bread? (laughs) – Oh, get the… My number one is very complex. – Oh, I can’t wait. – Sure it is. Wheat bread. Anyways, let’s move to your number one. – My number one, perhaps a slightly controversial one.

We’ll see. – Oh, that’s the best kind. – This one is Chateau Romani from The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. – [Shane] You’re classing it up here. – [Ryan] That’s a bottle of perfume. – [Brian] That is a bottle of old milk, my friend. – What? That’s so much worse. (laughs) – Let me get into this.

So obviously every Zelda game has a form of milk, Lon Lon Milk usually. – Oh, sure. – That’s the go-to. This is, I think, maybe the only Zelda game that references something that could be alcohol, okay? – Oh! – Now, Chateau Romani, they don’t sell it to you because you’re a child,

But if you get late enough in the game, there’s a point where you can go to a very sad scene between an older sister and a younger sister, and the older sister’s like, “You can even have the Chateau Romani because we can see the moon coming to destroy the whole world.”

– Oh, so like all bets are off. – All bets are off, just go ahead and have it. But specifically, the thing about it also is that if you drink it, you have unlimited magical powers for the rest of the game. That’s for the rest of the whole three days.

And so, I was playing this young. I did not understand the undertones of like, oh, this is alcoholic because it’s Chateau Romani. I just thought it was really nice milk. I thought it was like, oh, that must be a nice milk shake. – Oh, that sounds so good.

– This is how they start you early. – [Brian] Exactly! – This is how those evil alcohol companies start you early. – I like regular milk, but if someone sold milk in a special glass jar with a beautiful label like that. The gold label. – Normal milk is, like, 20 rupees.

– Gold-label milk! – This is 300. – Oh my God. – He still drinks glasses of milk. Like, he’ll enjoy a glass of milk. – Absolutely. – I would pay $300 for a bottle of good milk. – Absolutely. I’m right there with ya. I think it would be great.

Like, as I got older and I realized that there are indeed fermented milk drinks, and I’ve been like, ooh, those seem a little bit odd. But that being said, boys, I would drink this old milk. – I would too. – Oh man. Thank you for leveling with us.

– Yeah, I would drink this old milk, for sure. – I think you would. Is that why you listed it at number one? – Absolutely. I would sip that ancient milk all day long. That sounds delicious. – Even if it didn’t give you magical powers? – No, no, no.

Even if not. – You just want nice milk. – I feel like it would give me magical powers of a sort just by having a sip of whatever this weird old milk was. – Some people think milk is gross. – It’s not gross. It’s just something that I don’t need a jug of.

– They’re sickos, right? – Yeah. – Okay, I love milk. – I know you do. – I get it. – And you put ice cubes in it, which is odd. All right, let’s move to my number one. – Oh, his number one! – Let’s see it. – Here we go.

My number one is The apple from Pokemon Snap. – Oh! – Oh, okay. – [Shane] Look at him! – [Ryan] This is simple, but boy, do I love bonkin’ a Charizard on the head with this apple, so he’ll look at my camera. – So you bonk him on the head?

Does that get their attention? – It does. And then they look at you, and then you can take a picture of ’em. – Do they smile, or they like? – I gotta tell ya, if I was chillin’ on the beach or just in my natural environment at home

And I got hit in the head with an apple, I’d be instantly pissed. And then if I saw somebody taking a picture of me, then I would get it, and then I’d go, well, now I have a fuckin’ apple! – [Shane] A nice honey crisp. – In the real world,

I think if someone hit me with an apple and then took a bunch of pictures of me, I think the pissed aspect would go way higher. – Nah, I’d be like, Pokemon Snap! I get it! – Now this is gonna happen to you in public all the time.

– Oh, you’ve really written your own check, huh? – I’m gonna be on a date night with my wife, and we’re gonna be exiting a restaurant and all of a sudden like, “I love ‘Ghost Files’!” – You better hope you don’t get any more famous

Because the paparazzi know exactly what to do for you now. It’s gonna be a problem. – All that aside, it looks like a delicious- – Look how happy Pikachu is. – [Shane] Pikachu’s very happy. – Or you don’t always have to bonk them on the head.

You could just be like, look at my fuckin’ apple. – They get angry, but then exactly what you’re saying, they see the apple. They have a nice apple, and they’re not upset anymore. – I’d love to see this. I’d love to see them get angry and then smile.

– That apple, I will say, looks a little more red delicious than I remember, and I hate red delicious. – [Shane] But on that one you can see sort of a yellow bottom. – But the other one looks a little more like a honey crisp, which is my favorite apple.

We should do top five apples. We’ve been saying it for a long time. – You got apple opinions? – I got some apple opinions. – You’re gonna have to bleep my favorite apple then. – Okay, next season. We’ll say nothing more of it. It’s time for my number one. My number one is Coffee from Red Dead Redemption 2. – Wow, some double ups over here. – Interesting, interesting. – Ryan, it’s coming from the very same emotional source. – [Ryan] That looks good. – [Shane] So here’s the thing, it’s a game about a guy who’s hungry. – [Ryan] Look at his fuckin’ face sipping it.

– Look at Arthur Morgan. He’s goin’, – This is what his face looks like. – “That’s a nice cup.” – He looks like Antonio Banderas when he’s on the laptop in that one movie. – That’s right. – Look at his face. – I’ll tell you what, the game is long.

The story is emotional. That story does some things where when I was playing it, I was like, are games allowed to do this? And it’s one of the few games where there is a moment in the story where I wish I could’ve frozen time. I think it’s around chapter three.

You’re out by the river, your camp is out by the river. There were times that I would just go, and I would sit down by the fire with old Hosea and just sit there and sip some coffee. And at the time, I just thought, isn’t this nice? Isn’t this lovely?

Just sitting down by the fire. I think eventually you have a nice little party there. And then later in the game I would think about that, and sometimes I would return to the site of our old campsite. In many ways this happens in real life,

Sometimes you don’t take things for what they’re worth in the moment, you know? You take things for granted. You’re thinkin’ about the future, you’re thinkin’ about the past. And I didn’t cherish my time with Hosea there at that beautiful riverside campsite, sittin’ there, drinkin’ coffee.

It was one of the happiest times of my life as Arthur Morgan. – Oh, I was about to say, it’s kind of sad. – You just got married, Shane, so. – I did. Well, that was better, arguably. But this was number two. And the game also really makes you feel the environment.

Like, you wake up at, like, five in the morning, there’s a fog over the river. You feel the cold. – Oh, yeah. – So when you sit down at that campsite and you just sit there and, “That’s a nice coffee.” – Now, here’s the thing. I don’t know how coffee production has changed

Since those olden times, but obviously, I bet it’s a little grainy as he’s sippin’ it, right? – Absolutely! – For sure. It’s probably not strong. – Have you ever used one of those little campsite coffee percolators? – Yeah. – Oh, they’re good. – They give you a little pulp.

– I feel like Ryan might be the People’s Lister here. I feel like no one can argue with this one. – If you’re gonna say that, then I accept it, of course. – I think I’m gonna go with me on this one. – Oh, okay. Well, you know.

– And look, we’ll find out. Chime off in the comments. – You’re really gonna list yourself as the People’s Lister? – Well, the term came about because I deemed myself the People’s Lister, and I always have been. – But you’re actually not the People’s Lister. – And I always have been.

It’s on my business card, so I’m the People’s Lister and- – You know who’s the People’s Lister? Me. I’m the People’s Lister. I’m gonna vote for me as well. That’s two votes to one, and therefore, you lose. – I would say first and foremost, I’m probably the People’s Lister.

If I had to pick a second, probably… – Oh, really? – Well, that’s probably ’cause I have a higher score, than you, two to one. – And then you’re probably… – Well anyway, chime off in the comments. Who’s the People’s Lister? Which list did you like the best?

What choices did you agree with? Which choices did you not agree with? And thank you to Brian for coming onto the show. – Thank you so much for havin’ me. I love to talk about this stuff. – Is there anything that you’d like to plug in the meantime while you’re here?

– Not really. I mean, you can check me out. My name’s Brian David Gilbert. I do things on the internet and also not on the internet sometimes, so hire me sometime. – So you’ll see him whether you like it or not. – Yeah. – That’s right. – He’s everywhere, man.

– I exist in many places. – He’s gonna be out there in the field throwing apples at you because of this. But without further ado. – [All] That’s the list! – Another big thank you to Babbel for sponsoring this video. Click the link to get 60% off your subscription,

And let me know what language you wanna learn in the comments below. – There was an era when we started Watcher where we always had saltines in the office. – [Ryan] We did. – Ooh, now that is a nice perk. – [Ryan] It was the only snack we could afford.

– [Shane] Steven Lim would always bring ’em in. – [Ryan] He would bring- – He’s slackin’. – Thank you, Steven. – [Shane] You gotta bring back some more saltines.