Matteo Lane Reviews 2000’s Infomercials (Xpress Redi Set Go)

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you and your family can enjoy a healthy nonfat fast meal Kathy there’s Kathy exactly now this is chaos are they going to try them okay so Chris and I are in a bit of a Kathy Mitchell okay we’re a little obsessed found that there’s more infomercials and so what I think what we’re going to try and do now is watch infomercial then buy the product and then see if we can cook with the product so I’ve not seen this and this is all in hopes to get Cathy on the show so if anyone has any connections let us know the following is a paid advertisement for the express Ready set go I just love that every right away Express you know it’s going to be fast remember we don’t want to enjoy the cooking we want to get this done as quick as possible we don’t have time in our busy life we don’t have time I don’t have time to wait for food so we fall into the fast food run it’s going to help you lose weight Chris you best believe right now that it’s going to help you lose weight be quick and healthy it’s all the same for breakfast lunches dinners even desserts all thanks to the original Express 101 oh so there was another so this is a sequel got it like enjoying fresh piping hot personal pizzas fancy gourmet meals for two as well as flaky personal pies in under 10 minutes now you and I know that it doesn’t take 10 minutes how long did that carbonara take us to make this is possible thanks to breakthrough design advances giving you 25% more cooking area than before new insertable cooking I see new insertable pans and a new controlled cooking chamber with an advanced nonstick surface the food efficiently Cooks from the bottom and top in a closed environment so why are they explaining what a panini maker is I understand that there’s heat on both sides so now they’re showing us that an oven which Heats everything isn’t enough powerful enough to sear Meats yet gentle enough to make a crispy crust gentle enough to make a crispy crust I think that’s the voice I should have been in another life I should have been like a voiceover person for these commercials you and your family can enjoy a healthy nonfat fast meal able to fry bake and oh fry bake and Grill just one Appliance the chicken breast will cook Mary red fern payroll administrator and they’ve got the washer and dryer behind her and the fridge with all the magnets on it so you know she’s a working mom and she’s got the Ready set go behind her what is she wearing like 7 minutes where if I put them in the oven it’ll take like 20 minutes you don’t over wao Mary rickets a retired dispatcher I mean there was no budget for the outfits that’s a Christmas shirt and you don’t get any extra calories because you don’t have to use a lot of oil or butter you have to use a lot of oil or butter to have any Mary they’re all named Mary isn’t that three Marys in a row Mary cot operations manager and and Mary has a kitchen behind her she’s got the mom like late ’90s early o haircut and she’s got the baby it’s probably the best product is his name Mary too Michael Morrison I want to just show Michael doesn’t have a job but it should just say professional homosexual it’s probably the best product that I’ve ever bought off of a television ad it’s probably the best product I’ve ever bought off a television at except for that except for that one that was well ready ready all set to reduce calories then let’s go and then let’s go Kathy there’s Kathy and Kathy is sort of like pulling like a bear foot Contessa but like we’re going to do it cheaper quicker and shipping and handling America’s foremost cooking product expert to see one of the most and Kathy is an expert I will say Kathy does a great job this seems so hard because if you want to make a meal for your family it has to be the size of a sandwich the express Ready set go just like million look at this what’s the audition process be as unlikable as possible there’s only one person in the world who’s qualified to let us in on the news so let’s join my friend Kathy Mitchell I agree with him on that there is only one person qualified to do it and Rachel Ray underutilized her for what’s happened to the easiest Kath I just love her cents in my home Kathy how are you great to see you too I love my Express 101 I think you’re going to love it even more now because look what we can do she is really good at this job she wants business she doesn’t even want pleasantries she wants to show you the grilled ham turkey and salami sandwich and she wants to get there immediately beautiful fras and K’s full size it’s not Italian and look at these pies blueberry even Cherry you couldn’t do that before you’ve improved on Perfection I think we’ve made it even more perfect come on she always does this she won’t quite give them eye contact and then she goes like that like come with me now again we’re in a kitchen the way they frame it makes it feel like you’re in your own kitchen right but this kitchen is huge there’s 16 of them oh this is the express Ready set go about pizza it makes the best pizza I’ve ever had they always go to pizza that’s a seller because they know kids are watching and all you have to do is pop it in there and then put whatever toppings you like it’s a personal Pizza CU it’s a personal Pizza you like Peppers sure okay have a throw it out oh more toppings what a idiot oh more toppings makes me happy happy that pizza’s going to take 7 minutes and we’ve got a built-in timer so I just set it for 7 minutes and it’ll call me when the pizza’s done Ready set go wow a lot well they really use that a lot you don’t always have to use pizza dough like look here these are corn tortillas I’m going to make kind of a Mexican stacked Pizza we going to just drop it right in there and now we’re just going to put on some meat this is a great way to get rid of leftover so yeah a great way to get rid of leftovers from a meal that you cooked on a normal pan only going to take about 5 minutes so I can set that timer for 5 minutes and no I don’t lose track oh what’s cooking this is pea bread and it tastes almost exactly like pizza crust so you got a p Pizza pita pizza that’s right I just drop that in there now all you have to do is it doesn’t fit and you could tell that she was mad that it doesn’t fit add your toppings M okay just s it around there yeah exactly so we got some cheese here you want to that pizza does not look good pea red sauce with Canadian bacon this she’s about to add pineapples the pineapple some chunks on there yeah you can have exactly what you want on it Matt’s going to take again about only 5 minutes because the crust is basically already cook let me show you something fast no fold omelet maker I do too I’m going to divide it between the wells just like this so for the guys you like those meat and potato omelets you know men steak and some potatoes a few mushrooms and on the other side how about a veggie omelette this is mushrooms and for the gays this side is for the queer people peppers and onions now I’m going to just put a little cheese on top and close that lid and how about some lunch I’m ready okay well I’m going to make you a grilled sand this is really like cooking on cocaine I mean really we’ve gone through a lot so far so I’ve just got a nice piece of French bread here I’m going to put on a little ham and some cheese and some tomatoes and the top now I like to brush it with just a little bit of olive oil which is very healthy for you you just put salami ham in cheese on white bread and then now you’re trying to convince us that this olive oil is going to help you lose the weight this is like a panini and she is struggling to fit that on the inside and the salami didn’t make it in all the way in just about 5 minutes so we’ll set that time it didn’t even close she was pushing with all of her might to get that thing shut over here I’m going to make two sandwiches at once so I’ve got the divider in now you like wraps yeah this is pastrami I do I’m going to put a little bit of mustard on it first but I’m going to say Kathy’s killing it she’s selling she’s moving she’s cooking she’s I mean that she’s like a pro with this just lay that on there too mustard swiss cheese swiss cheese sure past he is so bored they honestly he should have done a line of cocaine sty without pickles right oh my God that looks awful the sides because this has got plenty of room there’s no way that fits it’s got the hinged lid so it’ll raise up exactly now how about a corn dog oh I love corn dogs it reminds me of being at the fair shut up the fair look at this look at Kathy’s face right now she hates him you’re just a big kid I know that just like if I now when I make a corn dog personally I put the whole hot dog in but a friend of mine says they like it cut up because that way they get no it’s because the hot dog doesn’t fit Kathy you’re supposed to make a personal food for yourself how you like it you got the whole pack in there and it all works just like that and close that lid about 7 minutes all right ready set go Ready set go uh now do we even remember what she first made that’s your pizza call it yeah it was a pizza it smells like a pizzeria in [Music] here with a Canadian bacon and a pineapple now about oh my God this is chaos another one’s gone our stacked Pizza look at that it didn’t even okay the Stacked Pizza I could get into that actually kind of looks good our tortillas with our of course it looks different because that’s not what went in we should do a side by side of where the olives were on the pizza before and after can you do that now right oh this is chaos are they going to try them here’s our pepperoni pizza now this is your traditional pepperoni pizza now this is just oh and they add the sound of like can you hear how crisp it is I heard the crunch listen to that crunch are you finally going to feed me here I I am but it’s going to be really hot I’m look at his face look at this man can someone make me a shirt of just this man and then we’ll only will understand please reach out to Chris if you can make this shirt So Fresh So crisp and so gooey on the top and believe it or not that’s under 200 calories and only about a dollar a slice so it’s 1,000 calories for the whole pizza sounds like breakfast is ready and what how is it a less than a dollar what’s the logic you know people love omelets but a lot of people are afraid to make them but look how easy they come out in here isn’t that beautiful beauti no reminds me of like a Delta meal French toast stuffed French toast that look kind of good and this has the stuffing of the cream cheese and the strawberries oh does that look delicious we barely had time for breakfast and now Lunch is ready now you remember this is our grilled sandwich look at our doesn’t that look delicious so crisp and so delicious all right the dinging ding ding ding now look over here because here’s our corn dog there it is look at all those little guys in there right out have it fast and easy just like that and pastrami rep let’s cut into that guy and see what we got oh look how full that does that look delicious look at that smells like a deli in here it I thought it smelled like a pizzeria you’ve got like three pizzas sitting out this got it smells like a deli now are you ready for some dinner I’m always ready for food now you’re going to put a steak in this I would put my Ready set go steak up against the finest restaurant you know I respect Kathy like I love Kathy but this this is going to go up against the finest restaurant all right now I’m just brushing with a little bit of steak sauce and we’re just going to put it right in the machine it’s only seasoned on one side you hear that sizzling you like onions and musroom now let me turn this over I want to show you how much seere we’ve got already on that steak look at that look at that I’m just going to go ahead and put in those mushrooms and onions and that’s going to cook to medium in about 7 to 8 minutes now I don’t think that’s enough time for a steak it’s not like back to Mary and I remember her name is Mary because our daughter’s name is Mary too cooking in a microwave where the food comes out rubbery it’s juicy it’s warm and in fact being able to cook with a little bit of oil is a good healthy habit for me and my kids for my husband watch she looks tranquilized being able to cook for my kids let me get a Diet Coke real quick inspired by Kathy Mitchell I had to take a quick break for Diet Coke M muffins look at this face I froze on Mary what do we think Mary’s doing today do you think that’s actually her kid for the working person very fast just frees you up from everything and then all your dishes thr in the dishwasher and you’re done it’s got a time yeah for for working person’s Fest cuz you just have to put the go dishwasher and then it’s just done it was like Paul Abdul trying to give a compliment or critique on American Idol you’re very brilliant to put things in it’s and when you finish Michael doesn’t have a job and when it’s finished you just don’t even you don’t clean it up it’s harder to clean up my bed afterwards but the um the this is the mini food pad and it’s probably my favorite because it’ll just cook everything like for instance cinnamon rolls I love to make cinn they have made cinnamon rolls almost in every single video we watch cinnamon rolls is a big thing but who wants to heat up that big old oven to 400° you’re not it’s not like you’re shoveling Cal into the Titanic engine you’re going 400 and then you wait 2 minutes and then put the food in the thing that infomercials do that’s interesting is that they make things that are not hard difficult and these only take 4 minutes remember it’s ready set 4 minutes to go okay so some I wonder what Kathy’s like just like in conversation right no oh I think that a steak is ready you ready for that oh God challenge yep all right and let’s take a look now ow that is not the same steak we saw earlier am I wrong I want another side by side Chris this is not the same steak because I want you to see look at that that’s perfect medium steak I thought the turbo cooker answered all your kitchen problems we got more problems we cuz at some point now I just feel like we’re creating new problem all right o sounds like our minis are ready okay all right now this was City minis yes okay now look oh aren’t these cute these are great how do you think these sold cuz if they have a sequel it means the first one did do pretty well have you been holding something back from me like dessert why are these dumb men always obsessed with dessert wasn’t Chef Randle like oh K me K me K me well I have some very special desserts come on over here candy bar filled cakes there is a recipe that tells you how to take a box cake mix and split it into thirs so you just feel the wells and now on this side I’m just going to put a little candy bar treat now this is really going to be a mystery dessert cuz I have no idea what flavor this is close the lid set the timer for 7 minutes two different kinds of desserts now come on over here cuz I got now no next next world famous upside down cake so on the bottom I’ve got some butter and some brown sugar and I’m just going to put three pineapple rings this will serve the butter and brown sugar would be fine pineapple rings and a little Cherry in the middle of each one and this is just a yellow box cake mix po put it in there and that’s going to bake for 7 minutes and you didn’t have to heat up the whole of it that looks familiar there’s a chocolate cake get that guy out of there and put it right on the plate now this was the joyous almond cake remember oh yeah with the macaroons in the center that really is beautiful the way it came up it’s really not beautiful it looks like a turd pineapple upside down cake turn that upside down and flip it over go flip over you know I usually one piece of pineapple behind oh look at that I never heard her get so excited before oh order the express Ready Set Go by calling our toll-free number 40 bucks yeah well I think we should get one I would say it’s better than because it’s it’s just a panini maker essentially it is better than the tur cuz the turbo cooker is work this seems a little easier to me like set the timer for 7 minutes you’re done all right the next video we’re going to we’re going to order one leave in the comments what you think from this we should cook cuz we’re ordering one right now we have a new advice special coming out June 1st so if you want to see the new advice special it’s 40 minutes of brand new crowd work it was a blast by the way just as a heads up we have a patreon available it’s in the description so you get a bunch of like backstage stuff and we answer monthly questions that you guys ask us and you just get to see more footage and more fun you can see me on tour they can’t stop talking tour go to Matan comedy.com I just listed a bunch of new cities so make sure you uh check that out