Sealand Mania / Riff Raff the Gourmet

Heathcliff hitches a ride to Sealand with the Nutmegs and torments clams, seals, painters, a whale and more.

Riff Raff has competition again, this time Cleo’s dating Pierre, a French gourmet chef. Riff Raff and the gang vows to make Cleo a gourmet meal, but Pierre and others make it hard to achieve their goal.

This is season 1, episode 50.

Oh What can I say he’s good until I get a new net I can’t catch any fish sorry get me a new net and I’ll catch all the fish you can eat they’ve got more fish than you’ve ever seen in your life a common house pickle sorry Heathcliff not this time [Applause] [Applause] if this keeps up I’ll have to call him the toner flea Hmm and me that extension for will you Joe What are you trying to do Joe help me next time your fire claims the main ingredients for my delicious chowder I need a clam opener Boy these clam shells are tougher to correct in a bank vault okay hold it are you kidding it took me two days to get this far all right hold on yep you’re sure now absolutely I need to get me a raft Yet the name of that painting company dear we never want to make the mistake of hiring What kinda fish is that that’s a pocket fish grandma well good fish I’ll start with a seafood cocktail and finish with a grilled trout Almondine you’re finished before you started we don’t serve government Eliquis I’m reporting you to the manager you substrate my goodness gracious someone’s eaten our lunch looks like Heathcliff

Got in here but how could he have we left him at home just what I had in mind [Applause] [Applause] animal [Applause] That’s what I get for hiring my fire homie I’ve never seen a cat takes the water like that before it’s only our dear Heathcliff we’re here to see it Heathcliff I thought I told you they don’t allow pets here there these cats a wild please come on Heathcliff let’s go home Now you stay here Heathcliff will be back in a little while I’ve got a way sure don’t make yo-yos like they used to Oh Leo’s not gonna like this well at least it’s only a small greetings earthling buzz the Bursar’s now about Oh giant mouse from outer space I have come to take you to my spaceship we need a new mop on board Competition was only made buzz how you doing I knew it was you all along I don’t believe in giant mice from outer space hey bus how’s that guy with Clio who what never mind catch you later hiya Cleo oh hi up here I’d like you to meet a friend of mine

Riffraff Pierre is a French gourmet chef oh yeah Cleo Madeleine I sure want to be with you tonight I’m sorry I must cancel our date but I have to work I have to be the consultant to they’re very important to dinner hey that’s too bad would you like to go out with me tonight I suppose are you sure

Wouldn’t it be better staying home how would you like to stay home with a black eye bones please Madelene herbs I have to leave I will speak to you later I’m gonna make her a meal that will wipe you out cuffs all you’re gonna have to work hard to do that riffraff Pierre

Makes the most wonderful gourmet meals I’ve ever tasted he also knows how to treat a lady thank you up at 8:00 I sure am glad you guys want to help What’s the plan man first we clean up this place we got to make it classy if we’re gonna eat a gourmet meal here right boys I think I’ll make fish a love affair vegetables our de frappe and pie I live with Fran be careful Mungo sometimes those wipers go on by themselves

Yeah what if you say oh well Okay boys breaks over time to spiffy up inside sailing these clowns should be easy as the pyre Stop everything it seems the more we clean up now I know why people hate housework let’s forget the cleaning and go find some food some tasty space make clay our class a day good morning I hope it’s a big one How’s the dinner coming along they should take there’s nothing to it see you later now for some veggies and beans doing in my vegetables [Applause] The Mongols got a squish and squish and squish I’m great and make some yummy clap just the person I wanted to say you could you answer a question for me how do you squish grapes I’ve got to catch a real flashy fish for my gourmet masterpiece this fish will be outside

With the small speakings he can hope to impress Cleo well guys I guess I’d better admit it to myself as a gourmet meal thus thanks [Applause] thanks for your efforts I’ll just tell Cleo that I didn’t quite make it Cleo my gourmet meal didn’t quite come off you know riffraff as long as you’re being honest I’ll be honest – I’m not going out with you just for a gourmet meal I like going out with you That’s not tastier shrimp I’ve ever had and look at that caviar If you have a dog who can’t behave when you leave them along here’s a tip on how to cure him of his bad habits first you have to isolate them either in a large crate for a small fenced area after about 10 minutes return to the crate and praise your dog good doggy

Now you’ve reassured him that he hasn’t been abandoned increase the time you let him out of confinement until he can stay out of trouble when left alone for a few hours okay breaks over