A&E Doctors Turn Amateur Chefs with Gordon | FULL EPISODE | Season 2 – Episode 5 | The F Word

Gordon is joined by A&E doctors from London, creating dishes like salt and pepper squid, bacon-wrapped chicken legs, and classic crepes suzette. Guest Dean Lennox Kelly dines with Gordon, John Humphrys challenges him with a favorite curry recipe, and Gordon assists an ex-pat family in hosting a Sunday Lunch in France. Plus, Trinny and Susannah partake in a unique event: Crufts for pigs at the Royal Bath & West Show.

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Welcome to f word it’s feeding time on the menu tonight three simple dishes that you can cook at home salt and pepper squid with sweet chili sauce bacon wrapped chicken stuffed with pork and pistachio and one of the all-time classic desserts crep suette and to cook it I’ve got four doctors from accident

And emergency what’s the worst ever sexual accident you’ve had in the middle of the night plus a take Trin and Susanna to the CRS for pigs if he thinks he can beat us experienced pig breeders he’s got another think And mother and my D I love mother and I love dad want to have all of never had the was here the C my mother and I CR my dad but I love my mother and I love my dad want to have all that never had ladies Fran how are you darling welcome

Peter likewise and what does it mean you what the full name is b b b [ __ ] me H nice to meet you likewise good to see you so um clearly you ladies can handle pressure you see it each and every day yes s days a week yes all of you are

Faced with a tough task tonight cooking for 50 customers yes and the objective of tonight of course is to make sure those 50 customers pay for their starter their am and dessert now you all put yourself forward as talented Cooks now it’s time to prove it ready ready ready

Here we go okay Franchesca what is the starter it’s small calamari shallow fried yes with sweet chili sauce and then some B Choy at the bottom with some oyster sauce exactly so you score the inside to keep it flat okay so give them a little Shake okay so it’s not too

Thick with cornn flour okay in and lay away from you yes okay lay away again again lay them away B CH in okay and you got to do this really quickly Touch of olive oil and it WIS very quickly like spinage a few small flakes of chili in

There to roast off little bit of oyster sauce in a few flakes of garlic slice very very thinly and then you just toss that over okay quick toss okay and then out nice crispy squid 1 two 3 Touch of sauce inside the chili sauce there’s sugar garlic chilies okay

And a little bit of soy sauce just visualize that in your head I’m trying yeah there you go done don’t look so worried relax yes I think I normally look worried that’s more importantly I’ll tell you what to do the one person control in this kitchen and four of you

Cooking if we listen do as you’re told y yep it’s going to be a [ __ ] great night only stations and good luck yes thank you Jean Baptist let’s go PR cat how is it is everybody out there very good very very nice atmosphere yes okay U on order table five yeah four

Covers table five four squid four chicken Balentine four crep suette right yes Gord Gordon that was a really pathetic response yes yes Gordon yes shepher it’ be nice if we’re getting a bit vocal so it sort of geers you up ready for a really good service yes I’ll

Start that again okay all right on order four covers table five four squid four chicken Ballentine four crep suette thank you two each side no no no are you telling them what to do or should I tell them what to do you should tell them what to do thank you so shut

The [ __ ] up then right we’ll do my name is Peter I like to do anything that is a bit unusual puts together unusual flavors my name is Lucy I have been obsessed with food since I was about a year old and being able to actually produce something and see

Enjoyment on people’s faces I think he just brilliant my name is GB I like to cook everything really quickly I don’t have much by way of patience so if it can be done fast I’ll do it fast my name is Franchesca and we’ve all had a lot of experience dealing with aggressive and

Irrational people so I think that that will help us prepare for meeting Mr Ramsy A&E is the busiest apartment in the whole Hospital everyone running around everything frantic to me it’s the closest you get to running a professional kitchen I think we’re all excellent cooks and I think we’re all desperately competitive I don’t think we have anything to worry about being in

The kitchen with Mr Ramsey I think he’s the one that needs to watch out right GB yes Gordon how you doing you have the first ticket on four squid how I’m doing good yeah give me at least four minutes please four minutes thank you uh Peter my presentation’s crap no

No listen to me listen listen listen Peter come here come here there’s no garlic in your back Choy and there’s no chili there was I put some chili in where is it then sace in yet where’s your garlic then I’m not here to argue okay Peter you’re not here to

Argue there’s nothing in there start again I’m going to be going to the [ __ ] mental home in a minute any chance of going quicker otherwise I’ll get them to put a sign up average waiting time for Peter’s table 45 minutes join the queue okay can we get the plates cleaned yeah that looks

Lovely but the plates are [ __ ] disgusting so get a little cloth out there and clean the plates yeah yeah okay so you must see all sorts of accidents you know that you do H you do what’s the worst ever sexual accident you’ve had in the middle of the night ah

Now you’re talking what you mean at work or at home no no work no no at work yeah not at home my god oh no I knew i’ get you going I can’t possibly disclose that here what what ti we’ve had some interesting vacuum cleaner injuries serious yes what they’ve got the nozzle

Stuck that sort of thing oh my god vacuming with their dressing gown open you know Peter the food is looking fantastic but we can’t afford to keep the customers waiting too long let’s go yes otherwise they won’t be paying for anything yes let’s go it nice and tight those Plates I don’t like squid and I was really surprised I’ve never had squid that wasn’t rubbery and stuff before and this was really really good um I loved it um I really like squid anyway but the squid was cooked Perfection I thought the texture was really really good love

The sweet chili sauce the honey and that sauce of perfect really okay ladies on order yes four cover table three three salad of squid three chicken balantine three crep suette Gord ladies that’s the last order let’s go GB yes Gordon have you been the fastest tonight let’s go

Last table for you four away on it three nice bits look one two three there and then drizzle your sauce around yeah watch just over the top and that’s it yeah I can’t make it any than that good please go let’s go well done Peter finally yes okay John

Baptist right yeah slightly slow the results four in total and an Happ to pay tonight only four customers not paying for the starter that’s fantastic yes good very good that’s [ __ ] good news Well Done 46 are paying four an huh it’s not perfect but it’s bloody good the

Main course I want everybody paying yeah 50 paying for that chicken leg yeah let’s go next on the menu I’m off the France the help a British expat who’s letting the side down it’s a shrine to England isn’t it I mean this place is fested with baked beans yeah the Brigade

Tackled the main course a delicious bacon wrapped chicken leg with a pee and broadbean risoto and triny and Susanna finally get a makeover just don’t put the brush inside his bum [Applause] okay welcome back to the FW my pigs may not be long for this world but they’re still as competitive as their dad come here hey we’re going to a show yes you and I are going to a show I want to get fully involved in the pig world

So I’ve entered my girls into an agricultural show the ru bath and West which is like CRS for pigs in order to show them I need to teach them to walk to heal they say that pigs are as intelligent as dogs so teaching them should be a piece of cake oh [ __ ]

Hell so I’m in a bit of a awkward situation now because I don’t want to make myself look stupid at the show and uh you know I I don’t go into it to come out third or fourth you know I want to win this [ __ ] thing

Now so if I want to win I’ve got to train hard I’m really [ __ ] competitive so we don’t settle for bronze we don’t settle for silver we’re going for gold get in there come on hey oh [ __ ] me come here house he there you go nice and SN good girl [ __ ]

Hell getting better you see later Christine and Kevin who we brought the pigs from arrived with a surprise gift thank you the kids are going to love that you know that this for the pigs you having a laugh now no we’re not having a laugh now you want me to Bath the

[ __ ] pigs in a swimming pool y oh [ __ ] um I’m going the kids so we got to work preparing a nice warm bath for the pigs is that nice in the pool in the pool quick the no want to put the water in there like that I mean they just love the

Water and they love all the attention I mean you saw the one roll over and have a tummy tickle she thinks it’s brilliant just don’t put the brush inside his bum okay quick lift up the tail right ready nice big splash here we go yes oh sorry Meg I’m

Sorry Daddy I thought they were going to be P oh no don’t roll over don’t roll over don’t roll over don’t roll over I mean the difference is extraordinary in terms of how well presented they look how smart they look for what a [ __ ] palava with the pigs clean as a whistle

They’re off to the show early to get settled in but will triny and Susanna win any prizes right ladies step up a gear away now yeah four covers table two GB four chicken away please yes Gord okay away now four covers table five Franchesca four chicken away please yes Gord let’s go thank

You time for the main course a bacon wrapped chicken leg stuffed with pork and Pistachio chicken legs this is a thigh and the drumstick boned out and that brown meat is so full of flavor stuffing sausage meat pistachio nuts and the pistachos give it a really nice sort of nutty flavor with a nice crunchy texture and slightly sweet th parsley salt pepper stuff place that in the

Center get your leg and fold it over tin foil season olive oil streaky bacon it gives a lot of flavor but more importantly keeps it nice and moist place it in the center and just roll it around squeeze the ends nice and tight poach 25 Minutes chill 30 minutes unwrap look at it already it looks sophisticated hot pan olive oil Season and the secret now is to get that bacon really nice and crispy you just roll it round leave it to rest for a minute Cherry vinegar the pan with some cherry vinegar and it’s really important that we Del delays inside that pan cuz that’s what that flavor is and it’s not just

The flavor of the chicken it’s the flavor of the bacon as well at the same time Masala wine it’s a real sweet dense Rich sauce that goes brilliantly with the pistachios stock reduce there we have a really nice 30C sauce and Slice on an angle because you

Really want to show off those those pistachios that smells amazing absolutely delicious stuffed chicken leg with Masala sauce done so chicken leg is served with a very summery Roto done with broad beans and peas yes and as you make a rotto the most important thing is cleaning your

Pan down all the way around the outside so all the rice is building up okay it’s cooked evenly right yeah good and how did you tell when it’s ready to add the next bit good question now look you can see the color of it inside the risotto there a little hard

Core there so the more translucent that becomes the more cooked it is see there’s like a little bit in there a little white bit as that disappears it signifies that the rice is cooked peas an ice handful of rawad beans yes right butter in let’s go thanks quick right

Parmesan cheese in there yeah yeah can you spoon and start tasting please now when the palms and cheese goes in it dries it up put butter and on the other side to see got it it’s nice season is okay y right I think we’re ready for that

One so give the plat a little Shake now we just slice them into two or three yeah so they stay nice and hot yeah yes you put them into really thin slices and try to decorate it it Go Stone Cold okay okay and we want to keep that heat in

There now fres are you happy with those uh yes yeah would you pay for them oh yeah good good they look fantastic well done first play out go let’s go let’s go boy coming now there is some strange black debris in My Pan what anyway what you doing there what is

That what how do you manage that I don’t know come sound like a plastic container in there get them out yeah did you start off with a clean pan I did you sure I was thought I thought I did I may be wrong I don’t think you did you started

Cooking a dirty pan anyway pet let’s get it in the bin and start again yes them just put the plates down that’s it you got you’re you’re not even thinking now L I don’t know why but you’re not you’re not helping clean the plates it’s almost like you’re giving up yeah I haven’t

Given up well you should be putting dirty plates up there then that’s all sorry we’re halfway through the [ __ ] main course go table 14 please yeah go hurry up yeah so please that’s nice now sa them 2 seconds JB no sauce rest them I’ll do

That yes JP what’s the matter one of the one of the customers saying that the chicken is not cooked enough the chicken is not cooked enough the bacon or the chicken no the chicken are you sure yes is it raw it seems fine to me to be post for

20 minutes I’m sorry JP but they’ve already been pre-cooked so we’re getting them crispy okay where’s it raw chicken St please Sor pleas yeah look it’s it’s it’s well cooked look there’s nothing raw in there okay M M M MCH come on hurry up eat it [ __ ] hell look that’s dry that

Is not raw sorry okay yes Franchesca three chicken away table 12 please let’s go I need more chicken please one at a time guys yeah Peter I want you starting with a clean pan yeah yeah yeah absolutely spotless yes right fres let’s go come on please oh [ __ ] sorry sorry you now there

You are guys sorry are you all right yeah You’ got to take the pan to you take the pan to you next time yeah that way we don’t all get splashed please let’s go place out yeah Lucy you got to be careful here when you work in the

Kitchen yes huh I know yeah [ __ ] how can I turn up a [ __ ] accident an emergency tonight yes right ladies can we all get on there please yes yes and finish this last table of three I want excellent okay my my ambition to get the nation cooking Sunday lunch has thrown up some

Real tough challenges some of them I wouldn’t even trust a bowl a pan of Water I’m here in groba in France and surprise surprise it Tak me all bloody day to get here because the French on strike what’s wrong with them miserable [ __ ] they may have done better than us in the world cup but we can beat them in the kitchen I’m here to

Help a Yorkshire couple who are letting the side down they think their food is the best in the world their wine is the best their cheese is the best their meat is the best I really need someone to teach me how to cook so I can wipe the smile off their Faces hello how are you Vicky Shante your neighbors cuz obviously all French the neighbors we’ve been out to his neighbors for dinner however we’ve not had the confidence to invite them back over we’ve come around for some drinks but not nothing cooked they’re inviting us to their house for a meal and we’re

Too ashamed to invite them back fishing chips potatoes and for me it’s not very elaborate and uh very often greasy and not very good what kind of food did you eat when you went around to their house oh they had um they had Wild bar patte

That one of the women had actually gone and caught the Wild bar made the pat it was out out of this world I don’t know how to cook with the food they have here right because it’s like um vegetables meat fish cheese and you can’t put it in

A microwave and go ping it’s a shrine to England isn’t it this is not real you know that this is this is this this is this is and bear in mind none of this stuff you can get here baked beans and soup what’s in there right so in here we

Have more beans I mean this place is fested with baked beans yeah it is get your cat we’re going Shopping Sunday lunch three of them yeah nice on the vine lovely good now that’s not too scary is it no that’s okay he’s your best now he’s nice perfect joh t m you there you go and do you know the nice thing about this when they get to

See you once a week twice a week get to know the kids’ names they get to understand you become a bit of a local then you get the stuff cheaper yeah I’m going to get Vicky to cook a very simple dish using a cheap cut of lamb

Rump they’re going to Bone It Out roll it and then tie Itk see we’re going to cook the Lamb with cuscus and an oine puree it’s the perfect Sunday lunch because you can make it for a lot of people and it’s very easy to do score the top like that for me right so why do we do that so when it goes in

The marinade it starts to absorb the marinade look what we do now just get where the fat is into the marinade the marinade okay that doesn’t have to be done for S 3 or 4 days it can honestly be done an hour before you need it that

Smells gorgeous so obun I thought OB were really complicated and you had to Salt them first or soak them but the reason why you have to Salt them first is to get rid of that bitterness okay and then mixing your hands through there yeah definitely good onions straight into the

Pan season it also with a nice uh cumin so have a look at the oine now okay see don’t worry about thator yeah it’s t color slightly all that water again little squeeze out there and look oh wow yeah yeah that’s the bitterness yeah okay over je into the

Pan cook the OB jeans with fresh tomato mix them with onion and cumin and then puree M the lamb okay now remember no color no flavor okay now into the pan now let me just show you something I don’t want to waste that that goes over the top back cuscus is the perfect

Accompaniment to lamb I’m using half a bull Cube which don’t worry is acceptable even in France but with fresh time for added flavor the St okay and just add apples T’s olive oil and gently heat over bamy until it’s fluffy so beautiful yeah okay over you have change by idea of English

Cooking it’s really good do buff thank you Chef thank you there you go so our cooking is better than theirs and we’ve got the Olympics England 2 France nil I thought yeah the risoto was well balanced with the parmesan and really good El Dente beans and peas that snap

In your mouth and the chicken was was well cooked and the bacon was nice and smoking it’s really fatty and the Bro beans are not cooked properly and also in a restaurant if you have risoto it’s usually like in a little like they’ve stuffed it into something to make it

Look like a little circle I don’t know some kind of and it was just like on the plate there was too much of it mine was perfect I really really enjoyed it it’s lovely okay ladies come over the results please leave the pancakes on the

Side ladies let’s go yeah this is is the crucial part for me yes I know we’re slow however what was the result how many customers out of 50 are paying for the main cost 32 32 pay 18 18 AR paying why not why so many uh main reason is

The meats a little bit fatty there not a breast of chicken there a chicken leg so it’s a rustic cut yeah but that’s what they said the pistachios the pork stuffing no they love that they love that but you know a bit of too much fat on on the chicken well that’s crazy

Because every plate these girls sent out was [ __ ] fantastic I know we’re slightly slow but 18 yeah oh no that’s a disaster nightmare okay yeah don’t drop your heads on that one we’re going to come back keep up there I want all the customers paying for the dessert yeah

All 50 of them yes next on the menu Galloping Gourmet Janet Street Porter goes fishing for lowfat food that’s cuddles I give political rockweiler John humph a grilling in the recipe challenge when I hear you on the radio just the pummeling you give those poor politicians honestly like L to slaughter

You’re worse than a [ __ ] vegetarian and the doctors tackle FL with crep suette stand by with a fire blanket make sure you do not set fire to Dean’s [ __ ] chest it’s insured for a lot of [Applause] money right welcome back to the f word this week’s recipe Challenger is a real serious foodie and he’s even grumpier than Janet Street Porter you say that to all the girls right I’m going to start chopping then okay are you ready you do I’m ready right the rules are simple the

Challenger has to come up with their best dish and then I have to try and beat it with my version have you been cheating by the way and looking at my recipe U no this recipe has been well rehearsed apparently not right he’s been in the family for some years about 15

Years my son right is a musician he’s a chist and his favorite food for hundreds and hundreds of years has been curry curry yeah that’s amazing apparently your son is the same age as me 39 shut up no no no but it’s like I’m prepared

Can we can we stop the I’m going home now it’s like having an old man in the kitchen fantastic good to see you and you look great for 63 I was 11 when I had him yeah okay serious fantastic I was 11 when I had it I do have one who’s

Only five his name is and his name is Owen Owen that’s right and he’s a he’s a joy should I confess at this stage I’m not a natural Chef yeah you’re highly competitive I am highly comp you get up early in the morning you don’t like

Losing so that makes me a chef right yeah sounds like a great chef to me trust me you got nothing to worry about how you going to sex that Curry up I’m using the best end of lamb lots and lots of red onions the usual spices obviously

Um gar ter garlic ginger turmeric chili and chili Anda paprika so John’s making a lamb Curry and it’s from his son’s recipe now I’m doing a lambro as well very simple in spices with turmeric kayenne a little bit of chili and then sweat it off with the onions seal the

Meat and then we’re going to blend some almonds and poppy seeds now because the curry is actually quite spicy what I’ve done with the almonds is ground the almonds up with poppy seeds and that makes it a lot more mellow so really nice and mild and takes the heat

Out the spices why do you not want yours to be too hot Gordon um I’m not very good at things burning your pet from the minute we start what do you think about Don Prescott he adds to the to the uh to the humor of the nation

Doesn’t he you know I asked him about the green belt once he said Green Belt one of Labor’s great achievements we’re going to build on it well you know there is the man is a sense of humor he is much maligned is uh is Mr Prescott now

I’m this is a I’m going to mix my stuff up in here right uh that’s amazing when you listen to your show in the mornings how on the ball you are now you’re just cooking chopping a few making your son’s Curry and you’re all over the shop John

I’m I’m absolutely pathetic should I get a seat out for you we’ll sit down and turn the lights out H there’s going to be a lot of politicians getting Sweet Revenge on watching this now you know that John how are we doing well this is the crucial stage this is where the real

Creativity comes in Gordon this is I’m dying to taste yours you know that this is the it smells amazing really I just realized I scratched my eye I had a call the other day yes some months ago from my uh son he’d been cooking a curry oh

No went to bed and all the rest of it woke up at 3:00 in the morning in agony absolute an Agony thought he was going blind but he got a tiny tiny bit of chili in his eye and they said he could have gone blind if he hadn’t thank God

He didn’t go for a pee none just imagine it’s happened before in chefs you know when they’re busy flat out Midler service chili chop chop chop chop Chef going to go for a pee and they come back and they’re like doubled up I mean like really doubled up dangerous stuff

Especially when it’s a really hot chili do you know something g go on I didn’t want to know that sorry nice oh I made a complete pig’s ear of this it doesn’t look that bad come on total pig doesn’t look that bad oh thank you no it doesn’t what are you

Going to do put the spices in there no no spices in there spices have better go in haven’t they you’ve been deliberately distracting me haven’t you that’s is this is this the technique that you use Gordon no no but just John I honestly thought you’re going to be a lot more

Together than this you know that being such a well organized when I hear you on the radio just the pummeling you give those poor politicians honestly like L to slaughter you’re worse than a [ __ ] [Laughter] vegetarian can I have a little taste yeah that’s nice is it that’s lovely that’s

Very very nice it it does taste like an authentic Curry I’m not starting to worry or panic but I have to say it’s nice and the tomatoes panicing just a little bit just a little bit now Contin in a bit but it looks like a curry you

Know it does look good right that’s ready now just needs to be brought up to the ball and left to simmer for 10 minutes both curries happy John delirious and may I say yes confident mhm [Applause] ladies how are we how are you big boy

Are you well good to see you how do you enjoy your chicken that was lovely nice what I liked about it was that it was it was it was like Ron seal it was what it says on the tin it has it is what it is

I like the dark meat so it’s nice I think a lot of times the chicken leg tastes 10 times better than the breast definitely what was the food like on shamers lots of liquid lunches I was fish and chips every Friday serious good salad every day yeah we were encouraged

Not to eat carbohydrates cuz your energy levels dip in the afternoon yeah so uh the food was good what’s the most difficult scene you’ve ever done probably being I was I was naked full frontal in front of six crew all men I insisted and it was the coldest day in

July freezing cold so did you did you I’ve got other strong assets yeah I know you everyone knows what my weak spots are is it his hairy chest no that’s a strong point backu God i’ hairy feet I should have been a hobbit is that for of De natural we had

An no it’s natural the worrying thing is it’s still growing it’s still growing you know I’ve got it insured no seriously it’s insured Daisy dukee insured her legs and Dukes of Hazard I thought oh that made me think would you pay for your dinner so far see you

Later I didn’t think it was possible but foodie gobshite JIS reporter has found something with a bigger mouth than her the British are certainly getting more adventurous when it comes to exotic meats I’m not of Britain’s first crocodile farm which sounds somewhat extraordinary as they’re not exactly indigenous to Cambridge SH now

Crocodiles are very lowfat meat and it it has got a pretty nice taste so I can see that um a farmer might think oh well it’s a new way to make money but I’d be worried that they it might be kind of cruel and if it but if it’s not cruel if

They’re happy if I can be assured that they’re happy Crocs then I don’t really have a problem with it looking at this Countryside it doesn’t exactly remind you of the Everglades does it hello oh and Britain’s class Croc farmer are these particularly vicious crocodiles you’re leading me towards only one of

Them that’s kissy’s over there she’s the most aggressive of all of them that one yeah isn’t this a bit crau to keep these crocodiles in this confined space the enclosure is um about four times as big as it actually needs to be they got 4,000g tank there they can swim around

They can jump out the water so what about escaping I mean of the villagers are got a bit anxious and put extra bared wire around the gardens um no because these are cold blooded animals they can’t survive in their climate if they go outside they’d slow right down

And stop and we just pick them up again so what would you normally feed them um usually feeding uh feeding them on chicken we feeding them with pigs today stillborn pigs oh I wish you hadn’t said that it’s important to remember that these would have been incinerated why

Have you got the pig on a rod if you don’t mind me asking I so you can fish a crocodile we’re going to get you to dangle him in and see if you can catch a CR so you don’t just like Chu them in yeah you take take that out this side

Andy this does seem a very dangerous way of feeding here she comes there’s cuddles that’s cuddles cuddles it’s your Auntie Janet so what what bits of the crocodile uh do you eat if I catch a little one that’s going to be the easiest way to actually show are

You this one’s smaller not very happy he gets bare ribs which obviously is a rib cage on anything the legs they call crocodile wings and then the prime meat is actually on the tail here which is a solid muscle it’s uh cutting Stakes like swordfish or anything else I good there we go

Smiler it will be a few years before Smiler and Chums are ready to eat so I’m going to an exotic meat supplier in battery who are the cream when it comes to Croc hello is this in case you forget what all the meat is cuz by the time

It’s in the packet it all looks more or less the same do you really sell goo yeah werbe is a better name now what about crocodile yeah I’ve got some got some in here is it a novelty or is it something that there’s really a growing

Demand for it was a novelty now we are selling between 5 and 600 kilos a month that’s a lot of crocodile bloody lck crocodile we’d love to get more people are now ordering it reordering it because they like the product not because it’s a gimmick would you like to

Try some I’d love to oh great there some crocodile fabulous any chance of taken a bit of kangaroo abolutely go for it pick that one that’s that’s great I have no idea how to cook this Croc so it’s time to ask Massimo head chef at cinnamon K in South London where

Crocodile is always is on the menu is it popular is he very popular he’s been in the menu for 3 years now so so for 3 years people in this area of South London they’re all vibed up about crocodile why is it so popular well he’s

A nice new piece of meat and he’s nice and healthy no F there’s no fat at all and um it’s quite good okay well why don’t you show me how you cook it I’d like to a go okay so what we’re doing today is a crocodile skewers with three

Fried noodles the crocodile is going to be marinating Ginger and lime what’s my first task skewers doing skewers like that down the middle so I got to marinate it squeeze some uh lime like it’s dead simple yeah very Simple I want the three best looking bit wow well let’s going and taste it m mom staring eat a crocodile then put some noodles in your mouth okay tastes really interesting for me is like between mfish and chicken um looks like it is a delicate flavor yeah it is

It’s got more flavor than chicken mhm hi there hello hello right I’ve got a mystery a mystery food for you here what do you think here um a cross between chicken and chuna it’s a meaty Tex it could be a meaty fish it’s fish it’s fish right what kind of fish like giant

Squid or something a giant squid that is such a stupid answer gon it’s me tell me what you think of that right crop it’s fresh it’s fresh it’s did you catch it yourself no what you wri a bit chewy it’s a bit chewy maybe it wasn’t marinated long enough

And it’s like a dry swordfish yeah the texture is quite weird isn’t it funny enough when I asked people what it was some thought it was chicken and S thought it was tuna because there’s that Crossover with really really meaty fish is it going to take on I mean that

Doesn’t do much for me you know that do you serve anything like that in your restaurant you’re having a [ __ ] laugh at me what a salad a crocodile would you ever serve crocodile I’d never serve it I mean you know that’s tasteless I think that you were a [ __ ] crocodile

Previous life you know that before he got here no I wasn’t a crocodile listen in your restaurants do you serve any exotic meats at all maybe on the [ __ ] great Barry Reef I can understand but in the middle of London would not serve [ __ ] crocodile on my plate [ __ ] is

There a shutter here we can pull down for [ __ ] sake Janet I got to go on with dessert yes right ladies come around please quickly uh this is Martin yes Martin’s from the leonda restaurant in Derby and he has to be the number one crep suette man in the country today

He’s going to show you exactly what to do very quickly watch carefully what he does cuz you’re then going into the restaurant okay and doing it at the side of the table learn from the master sugar some butter so what you making now is a caramel caramelizing the sugar

Testing yes ladies this is not the [ __ ] generation game you’ve all got to get it right yes this one counts big time yes bigc time Big Time Yeah GB Peter and Fran I want all 50 Cals paying for their Pancakes yes all right so you

Take it a little bit further to get look light golden brown yes to go CL my eyes yes almost like a treeo color exactly yes now we put the orange juice in oh nice orange segments in I’m try to keep the orange segments whole yeah we

Don’t want them all broken up the little bits right now what we do now is we add the pancakes here we go look in there like that okay over that over there like that now watch take the in I’m going to have to practice that on a pancake these

Are very dangerous get the flame there we go look you just tip over just til ITP yeah and then just just like there you go burn off the alcohol see it’s a Flom it’s whole idea of a crep suette yeah look so I’m not saying that no flames no

FL so organize your trolley get the oranges into a smaller Bowl get your pancakes on there yes make sure there’s no paper between your pancakes yes let’s go Martin Peter let’s go okay where are ches this is the exciting thing about kette this theater yeah these C love it

Yes M good there we go okay a little bit more color yeah and then we’re going to wait for that color to go and then add the orange looking for that kind of alcohol last that’s right yeah it’ll be fine absolutely fine yes you shocked when you know that you

Play rugby you save lives and now you’re worried about making a simple pancake let’s go I will never complain in a restaurant again I have to say if my is late I just that’s fine the good news is we can all treat you if there’s an

Accident just need to heat the grand M come on cook cook cook HRA it is on fire then pan on again another table yes yes yeah stand by with a fire blanket make sure you do not set fire to Dean’s [ __ ] chest it’s insured for lot of money all to his feet

Yes and good right got it in good and good nice lovely right burn off the alcohol y don’t put that thing down before you [ __ ] burn me good come on D give around of the Flor my God Almighty now thank you next on the menu will triny and Susanna make me proud of

The World Cup for pigs waiting for you now the pigs are in the ring so we need to get a move on and the doctor find out what the diners thought of their bedside manner how many of the customers are paying for the [Applause] dessert welcome back to the F-word now before we find out how the desserts went down time to make a grumpy old man start crying oh you’re a confident git look doesn’t it look beautiful just tell me that looks beauti it does look nice I just like this little moment this

Is my moment now it what how can anyone judge against my dish okay the moment of truth so dish number one this is dish number two okay you go smells great it’s so hot yeah it’s got a kick but it’s not got taste no spices apart

From chili should we try the other one this looks better it looks looks creamy it’s still quite Lumpy that’s much better I think there are too many almonds just floating around in it me the other dish was a better I think the sauce is a bit Bland John I’m not a curry expert you know that you don’t have it on the menu anyway I understand although Chef Curry

Normally about 12:00 at night on Friday night okay I have the results okay well who won he’s annoying isn’t he he is annoying he’s French well done yes get in there well done it was a great pleasure I knew I was going to win yeah

I know you knew do me a big favor [ __ ] off out my kitchen thank you John take care see you it’s the Moment of Truth the World Cup final for pigs the bath and West show the Royal Bath and West show is the biggest agricultural event in the country attracting 160,000

Visitors animals of all shapes and sizes have been judged with only the finest livestock receiving Awards by entering my VES I want to raise awareness about these English rare breeds and Jack look at them AR they beautiful I’m also determined to win if he thinks he can come down here with

Those wretched barkers and beat us experienced pig breeders he’s got another think coming with the competition this fce I’m glad Tana’s agreed to walk one of the pigs herself very nice you’re you’re in there as well oh de there you go you look like a evil

Matron yes you want to go see the little pigs come on my girls don’t let me down now come on ladies and for moral support mom’s turned up with the whole family I didn’t know everybody was coming but there’s worse around the corner king of pigs Hugh furly whitting

Would be watching no pressure then slightly [ __ ] myself are you it’s a nerve-wracking moment have you done a lot of training no I have done a lot of training yes anything you can give us as a last minute bit of advice well you you know the sticking board but the board is

Just a like a blinker use it like blinkers to stop them being raed just to turn them yeah waiting for you now the pigs are in the ring so we need to get a move on finally it’s showtime six rosettes will be awarded for the best quality

Pigs but any misbehavior will be frowned upon here we go here we go stand still you little [ __ ] come oh hey hey hey hey hey he’s not watching the piggy n he’s watching around more than he’s watching the pig so occasionally she’s getting away from him whereas Tana is doing what she was

Advised to do which was to concentrate on her own Pig and not worry about anybody else’s he’s taking ch’s Pig very seriously giving it a proper look that means he’s thinking of controlling the pig means the judge gets a proper look and can give points for criteria such as

Shape mobility and te Alignment good Ros on the desk they start dishing them out in a minute all right moment of truth the votes are counted all we can do now is hope the steward is about to announce the winner my Trotters are crossed first PR me what what [Applause]

On no the rosettes are slipping away second place goes to a teenager third four no fifth no oh [ __ ] oh come on there’s only one place left it’s got to be Gordon Gordon yes thank you very much thank you despite t keeping triny under better control it turns out Susanna is a much

Higher quality Pig bana gets a special award for her Pig handling skills special prize yes much better thank you specially controlled I thought she’d do even better I thought she’d be placed nearer the top I thought she would come first or second yeah I can’t believe you

Beat me I think mine was much better than yours I I really enjoyed it and I’m quite shocked that I did enjoy it I mean t amazed me I was amazed the way she managed to control her Pig and just how I suppose um calm she was with cuz it’s [ __ ] hard in There they are delicious really good the winning course really wasn’t it you can’t fault that made at your table alcohol didn’t overwhelm the orange ju it was just beautiful really nice and fruity lovely flavors not too sweet not too bitter just right okay John Baptist please wait got

Him okay yeah slightly manic out out there frantic but theater wise it looked fantastic yeah and the color looked brilliant how many of the customers are paying for the dessert everyone everyone that’s fantastic everybody that’s the first time ever oh my God everyone’s actually PID for dessert well done so four

Customers refused to pay for the starter 18 didn’t pay for the main okay but everyone agreed to pay for the pudding that’s [ __ ] good news so out of 150 plates you s 128 of them were paid for well done yes it’s not perfect but it’s [ __ ] brilliant I’m telling you now so

Far you’ve been the best performing Brigade and yes I’m really happy you liked it because there’s a strong possibility you may be coming back and it’s my [ __ ] kitchen okay yes chef you that Chef next week on the f word I get to grips with the eels on the for [ __ ]

Sake no they will huh my kitchen Brigade are four Oxford students so why wouldn’t you eat it sorry Chef I haven’t seen it you haven’t seen it open your [ __ ] eyes big boy and I show Jonathan Ross what to do with recycled celebrity [Applause] cookbooks la