https://www.francechannel.tv/?utm_source=baguettebound – USE CODE BOUND30 for lifetime 30% off your annual France Channel subscription!
HOW TO SUBSCRIBE?
Visit www.francechannel.tv
Click “Start Free Trial”
Enter your name, email, and password
Choose the Yearly Offer and enter the promo code BOUND30
Provide your ZIP code and payment information
Accept the Terms and Conditions
Enjoy France Channel!
For questions, reach out to support.us@francechannel.tv
About Us:
We are an American family of 3 who moved to France for an extended stay adventure in 2022.
We wanted to experience Europe as more than rushed tourists on a 10-day vacation. To dive into the culture, learn a new language, experience daily life, and truly know what it was like to work and live somewhere other than the US.
In France, we set up a business, enrolled in a middle school, found housing, and even got our cat a European passport!
While preparing to leave for France, the information we found about staying in France for longer than a short vacation was directed at college students, young & single digital nomads, or British retirees. Where was the information for families or Americans like us?
With three years under our belts in France, we created Baguette Bound to pass on what we have learned. We hope to make it easier and inspire other families who are interested in experiencing a long stay or moving to France. Stay tuned for more information on French culture, adjusting and the logistics of moving across the world.
Contact us or follow our journey @ https://baguettebound.com/
PLEASE NOTE: While we love hearing from viewers, we do not give personalized advice on moving to France by email.
If you’d like counsel specific to your situation, you can find ways to work with us on our website www.baguettebound.com
#LifeInFrance #baguettebound #americansinfrance #movetofrance #frenchliving #learningfrenchlanguage #learningfrench
50 Comments
I make a sloppy kiss only to my niece, because I know it will make her flip, that´s what uncle do. else I do not like it neither.
The gift basket is usually a good idea, especially with local products. often a good way to support local producers and also discover new producers and produces.
I am from the north east of france, we do not wait for the drinks. it is most probable We already have a drink while cooking and we carry on with the guests.
you can always what what you can do to help, sometimes they don´t want help, sometimes it is accepeted. we even don´t know
As a guest at a French dinner you are along for the ride. You have been invited, selected because you're likely a good fit with the other guests so socialise. Unless it's a picnic or a kibbutz you are not expected to help. Indeed, it can be interpreted as interference and attention seeking. We know Americans are attention seeking from childhood and that's an essential difference between US and most of French society. The most egregious mistake in your video is"Bon apétit"! A complete no no! Ca ne se dit pas. It's not said in good society and as an American it's not assimilation; you're going to betray your Emily-in-Paris-level of knowledge of French etiquette. Other remarks are…Being precisely on time is impolite. La bise is no more intimate than a handshake. And it's actually more hygienic than shaking hands. You can't go wrong with flowers, except Chrysanthemums as you said and get them from a florist not a supermarket of a gas station. Avoid yellow flowers if your host is traditional. Lillies also smell really strongly – not everyone enjoys the smell. Peonies are always a good choice. If you bring Champagne, make sure it's chilled. Don't give tacky bundles of regional products to French hosts. Hands always above the table, yes. Fork and knife separate on your plate (don't put them like your illustration) means you're not done eating. Fork and knife placed together parallel on the plate or returning your napkin to the table beside your plate means you're done eating. I put them at around the 6 o'clock position. Never rest your cutlery crossed on the plate.
I promise if you invite me i wont leave before midnight!😀
Asking kids to say hello (and goodbye) to everyone is a good one. They should also be able to be polite (please/thank you) during dinner (if they eat with adults). If I see that’s not the case then personally next time I tell parents it’s adults only.
So are you all fluent in French now? It must be difficult to go to a dinner party and not be able to follow the conversation.
As Trump says in South Park: relax guy. Between friends, neighbors or work colleagues invitations are much less formal and one can also help in the kitchen or clear the table before moving on to dessert for example. For the greetings, it depends. From a simple handshake when we don’t know each other or little to kisses even between men when we are intimate. For the number of kisses, it varies. But if in general we make two, it’s because it allowed to place one’s lips on the other’s cheek each in turn. Since then the technique has changed (sometimes air kisses) and our prime minister even has a particular way of saluting his knowledge. In conclusion, people who invite you will not reproach you as strangers for not knowing the rules. For gifts, it’s the same, we end up not making any more when we receive each other alternately. Flowers and wine are always fine. We may also have proposed to bring the cake for dessert. Simplicity is the rule, especially in the countryside. We say : entre nous pas de chichis !!
the "open the bottle to make them arrive" is always my excuse too! and at some point it's also rude to make your guest wait too long
you are so open to etiquette I'm not even familiar with. love the giggles at the end.
Wow, good to know. Been here for five years and didn't know any of this. I shudder to think of all the taboos we broke.
Living un Paris I can confirm that all the rules you noticed apply also here
La description que vous faites de la façon de dîner des Américains correspond à ce qu'on appelle en France "manger à la bonne franquette".
Your content is such a compliment to our culture, I wouldn't be surprised to see you on TV soon talking about your experience! One thing I'd say is although we are proud of our ways and often will make a point of following tradition, you can often simply ask the host what is appropriate to bring at a dinner and they'll let you know (often times either a starter or something for dessert :))
14:03 I do appreciate the two hands always above the table. I then noticed how different the Americans were, with one hand below and the other shoveling food into their faces.
I loved this video! Our home here in Michigan has a fairly open concept, and my job when we have guests over is to keep them out of the kitchen! William HATES having people in the kitchen. As we look at apartments in France, a separate kitchen is a must for us.
This is very similar to the rules of northeastern France. The only difference is the host (individual or couple) will either ask you what you want to drink when you arrive (after they have taken your coat) or when you have chosen a place to sit down.
For me the thing was « shocking , surprising » me the most was the peoples with a hand under the table when we heating.
How do you handle the etiquette if you don’t drink alcohol.
A couple of things: I'm an American, but I don't like when greeted at the door to be asked for my drink order–it feels so weird and like I'll be rushed along. And don't come in my kitchen–please don't! It's my private den of anxious choreography—you really don't need to see how the vegan sausage is made.
And therein lies another thing–I'm terrified of being invited to dinner because my spouse and I are vegan and we don't drink! We moved to France recently from another EU country and had lots of native, local friends–fortunately they understood our food predilections, despite thinking we were crazy, and were able to accommodate. Anyway, so glad to be in France. Oh, and don't put your hand in your lap b/c that's where you could be concealing your weapon!
It's funny to watch you dissect every part of our way of life. For us it's really natural since we learn it young and watching you talk about it makes me a little more self-aware about our ways !
J'aime vos vidéos de conseils et de ressenti , vous en parlez tellement bien avec beaucoup de respect et de bienveillance et surtout de très justes conseils !
Vous appréciez notre France et ses traditions.
Vous êtes des français maintenant, c'est sûr !
Je vous souhaite plein de bonheur à vous 3!
to help in a french kitchen you must 1) be close friend 2) already proved you are abble to make edible food (for a french person). i personnaly hate any help in my cooking process because i'm organized to do things alone and time to explain what to do and how to do it properly i usually finished it myself and you mess up my organisation. and add to that i usually already finished the main part of cooking when you arrive.
Waiting for people who are very late to drink is not a French tradition. Especially when you know they will be late.
We would wait before starting to eat, but I don't think there's any rule for the apéro.
You should buy the 'manuel du savoir vivre' from Nadine de Rothschild. It's a classic 😀
Spot on
J’habite dans les Hauts-de-France et les usages sont les mêmes que ceux que vous avez décrits. Mais j’ai bientôt 80 ans et je constate une grande évolution des rites chez mes enfants et petits-enfant. La mondialisation c’est aussi l’uniformisation des modes de vie. Le digestif à la fin du repas est généralement un alcool de fruits. Les gens le « sirotent » comme dit Jason » pour permettre un contact suffisant entre les papilles et les différents arômes. Un alcool de grain même conservé 10 ans dans un vieux fût de porto ne procure pas le feu d’artifice aromatique d’un cognac, on peut l'avaler d'un coup . Churchill disait « le whisky c’est la cognac du pauvre »
Et à propos de votre film de la semaine dernière je dirais que les populistes me font aussi mal qu’à vous, alors je vous dis « Raina, Jason, Juliana, merci d’être en France . J’espère que vous y serez longtemps »
You don't have to go ́’muah muah when kissing on the cheeks…That's very Anglo-Saxon though…..
We stayed with some old comrades in Normandy, we hadn't seen them in over twenty years. I believe Norman hospitality is notable, even in France. We did come bearing gifts, and our hostess allowed me to do dishes and that sort of thing, but, she made meals that were masterpieces and almost "Pantagruelesque." (just having some fun) also took care to go to the market by herself so we didn't have a chance to "chip in." That would seem appropriate since we were staying for three days. The only thing I could think of to do was to wait for a trip to the a wine merchant and ask our host what wine was his favorite. That way we could buy a few bottles and leave them as a parting gift. They were truly such generous hosts that we felt a little anxious.
When my co-worker's daughter married a French man decades ago, she went to France for the wedding. Dinner was served, all the plates had been laid, and she waited for the dinner to begin. She felt a little uneasy because everyone just sat quietly at their tables and didn't touch their food. As the time passed it became awkward and she, asked someone at her table when the meal would begin. They answered, "You are the mother of the bride, we are waiting for you to start."
oui , c est bon ca l armagnac
Remember that there's a wide spectrum in French families, from very conservative to very liberal, and the ways of doing things, including inviting someone for a meal, will be very different according to the family type, from very formal to very unformal.
Well observed! Just some clarification if I may, as an old (unfortunately) Frenchman:
– The quarter hour of politeness: the reason is that, as you will not be involved as a guest in the preparation of the dinner, the hostess might be a little late for some (good) reason in getting everything ready to welcome you. So if she is late, arriving just on time might put her in an unpleasant situation so that you take deliberately the responsibility for being late, giving your hosts some margin, even if nobody is really fooled but that's the way it is here.
This reminds me being invited by German friends: their traditions are completely different as you can imagine. You have to be exactly on time so that we arrived early and we waited in the car for some long minutes just to be sure not to be late (flexibility is not the prime quality of the Germans😉…). Then we rang the bell on time and we realised that our hosts were really appreciating our "politeness". It's not best or worse, just another culture and that's it.
– Bringing a present at a dinner: "baskets with regional food items"… well this is debatable. I would never do that since the idea is basically to give a present which is something quite original and/or unexpected. So in South West France where you are living (I'm too), if you bring them such a basket, they will be polite and thank you of course but they might think that you want to make them discover local products that they already know obviously… Not the best idea. It's like bringing a miniature Eiffel Tower to a Parisian… you see what I mean.
Conversely if I am invited for dinner by a US newcomer, then it might be a good idea to bring this kind of present as a welcome gift.
A book is nice but… it's also something a little tricky since it's very hard to know if they will enjoy it. They might be embarrassed with a book they don't really like but that they will never dare to throw away. But for children it's OK, for adults it's more touchy.
In fact you must always think about what your hosts might think about your present, put yourself in their shoes, unless you have been friends for a long time and you are aware of what they like or not.
I know it's not easy for a foreigner so that flowers are always the best thing to bring because they will ALWAYS be appreciated.
– The "digestif": it is supposed to be traditional indeed but honestly almost nobody does anymore. Coffee yes but, as dinner is usually late in the evening, you can ask for some tea or herbal tea if available. Anyway coffee is not a "requirement", you can refuse saying just "thank you, no coffee for me". No problem, you don't have to explain why.
– Going to the kitchen: that's a no-no indeed in France, very impolite even with good old friends. It's acceptable only inside the immediate family, at your parents or children house. The reason is that you don't know the habits of the house and above all you are not supposed to go through peoples's stuff. This is the thing you must never do.
Bien cordialement
Not only is one expected to wait for the hostess to start eating but it is also polite to wait for the hostess to sit down before you take your seat.
In a restaurant setting, especially at a bussiness lunch, the one who pays is also the one who leads the way with sitting down & starting to eat.
an other thing
For meals, there are families where traditional manners are important, and you should not sit down at the table before the hostess is seated, unless she tells you to sit down… It is best to watch what the family members do. In families where this is not the case, standing next to your chair may be considered strange.
Since Covid, people kiss each other much less.
Interesting. I married into a Cajun French family in Louisiana. The things I noticed: 1- the men eat first and their wives prepare their plates. Then the women linger at the dining table gossiping. 2 – the men retire to the living room to watch football or talk hunting and fishing. Naps on the floor are common. 3 – all women, guests included, are expected to clear and wash up. Gossip continues. 4 – the children have their own table and activities, often outside. 5 – the men are frequently the cooks for outdoor dishes like barbeque, jambalaya, crab stew, or gumbo. Male guests are expected to remain with them. Ladies move inside to assist with sides and desserts. 6 – Grace will be said.
Yes, to number 10! I can't believe people in the US – you invite them for a meal and after an hour they're talking about leaving. Incredibly rude!
American families don’t all have the same rules! Our family always waited for my mother to be seated before we sat down and then only started eating once everyone had been served, unless my mother invited us to start! Besides that , grace was said.
Waiting for everyone to be served is very important. It avoid the host to start eating when everyone has finished. And it's just politeness to not start when some are not served yet. There are so many reasons for that: imagine the one who is serving did it bad and there is not enough meal for the last guests and the host, then maybe you'll get from those who has been served before. For me it's the number 1 rule. If you don't follow it, this is very rude.
And of course, don't put your elbows on the table :). This is one of the main etiquette at table. I think this is what children hear the most from their grandparents (and their parents, but less now).
Thank you for providing other host gift ideas. A thought was what if the host doesn't care for wine (possibly) or gets a lot of bottles and wants something else given? I like the food basket or non food items.
I ordered the French Channel, but cannot figure out how to stream/project on my TV? Is it only streamed on the phone or iPad?
The shot of Armagnac made me laugh because of the movie Le Souper (1992) one of the protagonist explains how to drink properly a fine aged armagnac: "You pick it up cradling it in your hand to warm it while giving it a circular motion to swirl the nectar, then you bring it to your nose, you inhale the fragrances then you put it back down and you talk about it" Not a tutorial for nowadays France, just a joke on the refinement of the 19th century.
Their daughter is super pretty and looks French. Dark blonde with brown eyes, even.
as a french i don't agree with waiting for everyone to have a drink. Maybe a nice bottle of wine, but not anything else. I don't think it's polite as a host to tell others, "No, you can't drink until everyone has arrived." Everyone drinks when they want. I offer drinks as soon as they're seated, and the latecomers aren't unhappy at all; it's perfectly normal. You're talking about a very specific case where you have formal dinners with important or wealthy people, but that's not real life.
It is rude for children not to greet and respect adults and other people when you visit folk.
Selfish children disrespect others.
Many parents teach their children manners.
Hello, I am Swedish. We have the exact same dinner etiquette. Maybe it’s just that America has none at all?
My husband (who is an American) would write much better than me about his own first experiences with dinners in France.
They would just seem endless to him as he would barely speak French.
More than 20 years later, he will never skip the cheese !!!
Thank you for all your videos, you’ve got a great sense of observation, and a wonderful sense of humor !
Another "truc" regarding handshakes between men not well known to each other at a dinner party. Unlike in the US where you hold on tight for 10 seconds or more, up and down, maybe back and forth…no. Hands goes out simultaneously, hold gently, once up and down and release.
I was recently told that if I'm a dinner guest I should NOT ask the host to use their bathroom as this room is considered a very personal space. As an older gringo with a demanding bladder this could be a faux pas waiting to happen. Do you have any advice??
Le kir, c'est généralement du vin blanc avec du sirop (sans alcool) ou de la crème (avec alcool) de cassis ou de mûre ; pour le kir royal, le vin blanc est remplacé par du champagne
FYI This typical (*) French flow of a meal is not only an heritage. The « gastronomic meal of the French » also became a UNESCO world heritage.
Normally the hostess should not say "bon appétit" it would be like good luck with the food I cooked, you'll need all your appetite to swallow it. Instead you should wait for her to start eating or for her to say "vous pouvez commencer" or "ne m'attendez pas" or "mangez tant que c'est chaud".
It's perfectly okay to not serve the wine the guests brought with them and keep it for a later occasion. You can ask the hosts if they need help. I would for instance say "oui merci, peux-tu apporter le pain à table ?" but as someone said earlier, don't EVER open the fridge in a house you're just invited for dinner or any other occasion except for a longer stay in which case you should wait until you're told to help yourself.
And if the menu is a soufflé, "le soufflé n'attend pas les invités, ce sont les invités qui attendent le soufflé". My mother was "the queen" of soufflé au fromage and would put it in the oven last minute while the guests were drinking the apéro.
the "close contact culture" is fadng away, thanksfully … At work we don't shake hands nor bise. At sports neither. Good thing, I knew a workplace were I had to shake hands with everybody every morning, like 15 hand shakes each day … A simple "Bonjour / Salut" is slowly becoming the norm and it's fine.
I'm French. This is very interesting,
" sympathique", and funny. For your fellow country people , and for us.
I would never have figured out things you mentioned, for instance the fact that you expect your guests to help you in the kitchen. I HATE when people mingle in my handling of the meal preparation , or even clearing, especially without asking.
And also your moderation, saying it might vary slightly according to the person, the area etc.
May be a little exagerated though ( for the " ponctualité ": we won't be upset if you're on time, just embarrassed ) but that's well observed.
Merci.