IMPROVISED PLAY #29 | “Wine Under The Bridge”

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Trolls, goats, wine. It’s bridge time.

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Filmed at The Pleasance, London, by Teo Tomasso, on 27/01/24

we are going to challenge ourselves to
tell you guys an epic play that’s going
to have a beginning a middle and
hopefully if we do it right a tied up
end we’re not sure we’ll give it a go
all we need from you guys for this epic
tale is a title search history whoa
double who search history
internet the internet’s search history
not sure about that one the chicken and
the pop dress
what was that one wine under the bridge
wine under the
bridge quite like wine under the bridge
I don’t know what it means but we’re
we’re going to go with that ladies and
gentlemen this is the Epic tale of wine
under the bridge can we get a big round
of applause thank
you Dad
Dad troll father
dad um what is it troll
son I saw some goats
today Criss crossing the
bridge um and I know we’re supposed to
eat the goats Yum Yum
Yum but
I I didn’t eat this one
you said goats yes and then you said you
didn’t eat this wine you followed the
story so far was there one goat multiple
and did you eat some of the goats or
none of the goats it was a very very
small goat it might have been a baby I’m
not
sure there was one goat yes you did not
eat the goat no dad eat the
goat don’t get fussy with me TR I’m
getting fussy troll son yes you have a
difficult time in a trolls
land every troll goes through it yeah
when you have to decide if you are a
true troll or one of those one of those
little ones with a floppy colorful
hair do you want to be big like troll
father or do you want to be little and
floppy
forever I feel like I am I mean compared
to you I’m definitely little and floing
a for now look at this mural of troll
mother look look at the Rocks on
her I don’t want to look at the Rocks on
mother look
admire they’re very sizable rocks
yes you remember what happened to mother
don’t you
of course I remember what happened to
mother but I dare not speak of
it why not your floppy hair is too
colorful my
boy say what happened to
mother she neglected to eat her
goats and she crumbled away worn Away by
the river water from under the
bridge I don’t want that to happen to
you go son I want you to be big and
tough like me you know what happens when
I see a goat one M
oh
babies
daddiy the daddies are massive yeah TR
the
big goodbye my
[Music]
love I’ve created a rudimentary bully
system
do you want to see the other ones I’ve
done yes of course father very proud of
your sister of police this one is Bruno
Mars I’m not so good at that one know I
keep working on
it father have you ever noticed that on
the bridge running up the side of it on
the River Bank are beautiful Vines
all of the troll congregation are
confused by
this and on the beautiful Vines yes are
beautiful
grapes go
on L are lots of beautiful grapes and I
noticed that some of the grapes have
fermented where are you going with this
toan do you actually not see I think
it’s really clear I want you to spell it
out
troll son I licked the fermented grapes
and it tasted
good you know the only thing we ferment
is goat
blood the only drink we have is goat
blood the only food we have is goat
go but what if we were try to try other
drinks other foods to go with the drinks
perhaps the milk from the goat could be
curdled into a hard substance that would
peir nicely it’s fermented
gra go son you sound like a
prick fellow wait I called you goat son
didn’t
I that is how I see you now fellow
trolls sing to me your
song yeah you need to work on that
my
son has shamed me this day
oh and now I think
he’s do something
weird he will be exiled from a troll
house do you all speak in
agreement wow cold
blooded so many trolls in one troll
house it’s for the troll
ory which is actually just what we call
a
conversation but we like to sound
risky troll
son leave never return Exile you are
Exile Exile
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
ex so
back to the
O
toas you never guess what I saw today in
Village what did you see today in the
village you never guess what I saw today
in Village what did you see
today they’re
troll right little little teenage troll
he was Teenage troll yeah you’ll see me
them in the village
[Music]
what you don’t see many of them in the
village you trolls cuz they don’t exist
what cuz they don’t exist is that the
reality we’re
setting I’ve never seen them before you
never seen them you not seen lots of
things you never seen a zebra but you
know they’re
real that’s true there you go can I can
I sit next to you of course it’s a free
River Bank
you want some wine oh that looks nice
yeah I got it for some from
[Laughter]
grapes what will you think of next you
know the
Vans I know Vans yeah the Vines by the
on near the
bridge
right went over there okay you mean
troll bridge yeah troll bridge you went
to troll bridge
yeah why not cuz of the
trolls never seen
one I went I pipped off all the Grits I
crushed them uh with
um spoon no no no P moror what p a moror
don’t call me
that uh my hand that’s it
get with me a right and then I took it
and then I put it in a bottle right so
you got grape
juice no so
yeah so when does it become
wine you have to leave it for a you have
to leave it for a little bit shake it
load no not shake it loads right it’s
not paint all
right do I have to leave I’ve got how
long do I have to leave depends how nice
you want it to be have you added have
you added the fermentation
the the
yeast yeah of the
yeast yeah where’d you get the yeast
from thr Old
Bridge it’s going to need to at least
keep for 6 months before it become wine
all
right well I’ll have some grape juice s
right I’ll have some grap
no I’ll put it in the bag
can I sit next to you have we already
said
yes anyway I was going to tell you I S
he teenage trolling
Village what the [ __ ] is wrong with
you oh sometimes it’s just hard to talk
to you that’s
better am I your only
friend what are you two boys arguing
about now don’t don’t talk to him why
who is he what who is he don’t ignore
your
grandad you don’t he’ll get
weird arguing about something I heard
old man we don’t know who you are we
don’t know who you are I don’t he knows
who I am I’m afraid I
don’t
Grandad oh my vision is
[ __ ] I need of you my grand
no none of us oh really
[Applause]
sorry you seem to know who he was yes my
Grandad why you
Grand no it’s not let me hang on no oh
yes there we go hey just it’s just not
very nice it’s not a fun not nice I’m
not nice cuz someone’s lost me
goat you goat my goat who lost your goat
what do you [ __ ]
think what I mean he’s not very nice to
me you meant to be looking after your
grandfather’s goat when you were there
trying to make wine at of grape juice
without any fermentation where are you
making this in his
bag no location
geographically right there
no where did you get grips from oh troll
said that’s what I said you don’t
believe in trolls were you walking my
goats near troll
bridge yeah you stupid [ __ ]
TW you’re right it’s not very nice it’s
not very nice horrible things and this
family depends on those guts for for
trade
with cheese Farmers damn it got cheese
specifically if you lose goats we W have
income you [ __ ] you’re an embarrassment
to your family he look look look look
look look don’t tell me he’s really good
at
karate I’ll
show y shim Mo’s black belt 75 through
80 for
Champion can I just ask what what year
is
it I’ve not got
dementia so don’t ask funny questions
like that okay well
97 which
one 1997 okay good now we’re clear we
can move on oh look at my Casio
watch Grandad yeah does it always have
to be about GS black kind I make wine or
something do it different what are you
[ __ ]
French no but look exactly Grandad I’ve
been trying to make some
wine you see what I have to deal with I
know I’m he know he’s my only
friend I do this every day he comes over
trying to save me wine it’s just grape
crushed up grap he used his hand to
crush up the grapes poured it into an
old D Coke bottle and now he thinks he’s
a [ __ ] wine
merchant did you
first yeah of course right well I’m
still not trying it I want my goat back
you go back to that bridge and you find
that g yes Grandad did you see that
teenage trolling
Village
what I’m going to go home
TR troll father was trying to look at
troll
mother but she’s gone
[Applause]
apparently troll brother wanted to check
in on troll brother heard son Runway
Exile same d
no not same GI I choose
Exile I am safe inside because I chose
to cut him out before he cut me out like
everybody does I still
here I
still I still visit from cave oh
yeah you want to come live with me
Sheila in cave no why your TR life gold
Sheila we are cool things like troll
father troll son troll mother why
Sheila Sheila Sheila not troll you
see it Sheila Sheila is Rock no Oh
Sheila is goat Sheila is
Jewish we met on
Jed Jewish Rock no Jewish woman Jewish
goat
no yeah me Branch out you know me dating
you know outside my usual comfort zone
me learn many things what what is
comfort zone comfort zone is like you
know under bridge we feel safe yeah
under Beach under Bach or for me in cave
feel safe outside cave or outside under
bridge that not comfort zone but you
still learn new things and have no
experiences I had a
bagel a big old
What A
Bagel it’s much nicer than goat you have
food no don’t I
know what do you think this is GQ
headquarters is GQ a men’s magaz
here we are getting closer to tr
Bridge you’re all right
berti guess we’ll just keep
going get that lovely
grape put lovely grape in for he don’t
tell my granddad but I’m going to
I’m going to go I’m going to get some
more grapes okay so I’m just going to
tie you to this
tree using your
[Music]
hands be I’ll be right
[Applause]
why he faint when I say
hello
Grandad it’s me
Grand you a troll yes
[Laughter]
I didn’t believe that you existed you’re
still dreaming get back on the floor
back on the
floor you’re you’re troll
yes yes I didn’t think you
existed I exist troll exist proud
oh you have
goat yeah yeah oh not nothing it’s
okay you’ve got grapes yes I like grapes
I like the rich Taste of grapes in my
mouth
floral first I smell then I take little
bit slush it around mouth spit go
yes but I not exactly know why and then
I say yes I have whole Vine and I put
whole Vine in
back I make wine from from
grapes what is
wine you have second goat
back wait why are you why are you taking
GP trolls like
goats yes normally trolls eat goats
but I maybe think the other way I I have
been exiled
oh you’ve been exiled yes it hurts just
to say it out loud say it again
no why you wish me pain like this in my
most suffering hour sometimes when when
my grandfather says
says things to me that aren’t very
nice it hurts at first but then if I say
it over and over
again it starts to not hurt as much
anymore I
see stop it
[Applause]
[Music]
I have been
exiled I have been exiled I am exiled
say it again I
Exile I troll Exile the Exile troll the
ex
troll see how does that feel better
oh what’s that troll
son want to be exiled
now Jo son was going to be forgiven but
no TR son no what he want he wants to go
out and and find himself a
a Jewish goat to fall in love with fine
then troll father will be true to
[Music]
himself I show you how a troll does it
downtown who was that he took my bir in
that was troll father my troll father he
is the one who exiled me well I don’t
like him I’m going to go and get him
who are you [ __ ]
crazy he taking him to troll house for
big troll
OIC mean conversation he’s going to have
a conversation with berti no a
conversation with trolls and then
probably eat
berti berti is your wife
no ber is my
friend I’ve only got two friends in the
world I’ve got that guy from
before he hasn’t told me his name
yet and then
Bertie I not have any
[Music]
friends I all alone just me and
fermented grapes
you know if you take them go on
oh yeah put them um this bag in the bag
now use your fist oh yes put it in and
then go like
that oh it’s like morar and
pesel keep going
Sean
son mom mom
it’s me troll mom troll mother you’re so
close to it boy so close to water you’re
so close to the Breakthrough that I
always wanted to achieve getting us away
from just eating goats and living under
a bridge but opening up a mediumly
priced wine bar in it
Wich with this man in his goat you can
make the best cheese and wine bar the
Sou these ever seen but you’ve got to
work together boys it’s
done it’s so confusing mother say open
wine bar in southeast but IP switch in
East
[Music]
Anglia
you oh my
gosh this this isn’t just grap fruit
no gra fruit
no it’s definitely not grapefruit though
you made wine wine something about
you oh it turned into
wine you think maybe it’s the molds that
grow on
stroll
[Applause]
fermentation in my tongue we call it
yeast
listen take this
go back to your dad and say an
exchange wine for my goat back now I
know he doesn’t like that why not go
with my plan go together get the go and
open the win
up okay
Mom he lives in
you he lives in me stop singing goat
[Music]
come have sit down
yeah
go me think my son will
come but until he does you’re in big
trouble I don’t know how I got here
tonight I got a feeling but something’s
not
right go go under
troll I got I have a flick knife
stuck in me medal with
you
father non troll
son that was pretty
good don’t do anything to birty we
brought you something father please if
not what mother
want why you talk about troll mother
I I have
pockets I see now why troll mother for
pray to Great torrent of water in River
oh because she not sink wait she not
swim yes but she there trying to make
this
wine father you
try no just take the bag and drink
you feel that on your tongue tell me
what notes you
get notes of
hin and rubab good and I’m being out of
comfort
zone maybe T father has been TR father
too long
[Music]
[Applause]
is my best
friend go save her over
here don’t let he loves it don’t let
don’t let it’s B it’s fine father it’s
fine it’s
[Applause]
fine Jewish what I don’t me no no
brother say something about Jewish rock
me not know either but father me know
one thing
look oh you on
yeah very good troll Auntie you’re
getting
there father it’s time to leave goat
eating behind
it’s time to open wine bar in
ipswitch and if successful successive
chains across
Southeast
I
proud of TR son maybe he more dra than
any of us
troll father it appear a colorful troll
after
all it’s
[Music]
beautiful um is Big goat giving him a
blowj and see
w