Love Wine | Romantic Comedy | Full Movie

Bridget Love inherits the family wine business after the untimely death of her aunt and uncle. The island is turned upside down when men converge on the island to become Bridget’s “Love King.”

Stars: Robert Andrew, Tara Goudreau, Daneen Boone
Directed by Mark McNabb

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[MUSIC PLAYING] So how does a fairy tale start? When Grandma Love read me fairy tales as a child, I always wanted her to skip to the prince part. You’ll never catch us! Who needs the build-up? Get right to where the prince rides in on his white steed,

Sweeps the princess off her feet, and marries her. Bridget and Melaney, you guys will never catch me. Bridget, where is he? I always thought of my Aunt Anita and Uncle Louis as part of a fairy tale. The vineyard was their Camelot. But who’d believe that grown adults would spend hours

Sitting on a bunch of grapes in a vat naked, kissing and hugging each other? It seems to me you’d end up with grapes stuck in the most unusual places. [LAUGHTER] Hey, what are we doing there? What’s up, buddy? They’re kissing. [LAUGHTER] Do you know why? Um… because they like each other?

Well, kind of. They’re in… they’re in love. But why are they doing it in there, on the grapes? Well, because… they feel something magical happens when they love each other on the grapes. That their love somehow finds its way into the wine. Does it? Well. A lot of people think so.

That’s what makes Love Wine so… So popular. How do they do it? How do people fall in love? Is it something chemical, physical, or is it really magical? I’ve got the love grape. You can’t catch me. I found you. Now you have to give me the love grape.

There isn’t any love in it yet. How do you get it in there? You have to kiss it, silly. It doesn’t look any different. I kissed it, then Paul did, but something’s wrong. It didn’t work. Maybe you have to kiss it at the same time? I guess that love is a funny thing.

The harder you look for love, the harder it is to find. [MUSIC PLAYING] Then we grew up. Time to put away the fun, the games, and the magic. Goodbye Camelot. For most people, it’s magic when you wake up in the morning and you don’t hate your life.

[KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKING] Oh, I hate you. I hate you. I hate… Better get used to it. We’re switching everything over to the new software. Mr. Crane. You know, I started this company 20 years ago, and we did everything on typewriters. It could be worse. [BIRDS CHIRPING] [WAVES CRASHING]

Louis, they say a storm is coming. Are you sure you want to do this? Look, Zeke, it’s tradition. We’ve been doing this for 25 years. It’s our anniversary! We’ll be all right. Bridget Love, please. [PHONE RINGING] Excuse me. Hello, Bridget Love. Bridget, this is Zeke. Yeah, you probably don’t remember me.

I’m a… I’m a friend of your Uncle Louis? Oh, Zeke from the island. Well, look. I’m afraid I’ve got some, uh… Some sad news. [SOMBER MUSIC] When Zeke told me that Aunt Anita and Uncle Louis had been lost in a boating accident,

I felt like it was more than a personal loss for all of us. It was like the queen and king were gone. And what would happen to the magic? Had they taken it with them? We need you to come home. [SIGHS] Richard Charles, reporting for News Today,

Live on location at the city’s newest land development project. As you can see behind me, these machines have been stopped. Stopped for reasons that would put a chill into your thoughts as to where you would let your children play. Environmentalists have… [SINGING] …that would make the Three Mile Island folks blush.

Reports suggest that in the early 1960s, this land was used as a fertilizer test site… [WHISTLING] [HUMMING] Reports show that there were 60,000 tons of toxic soil… [GLASS CLINKING] Be careful with the glass, please. [SLURPS] That would be equal to 12,000… [EXHALES LOUDLY] [GROWLING] [MOANING] Two locations have been…

Mm, another trip down memory lane? Hm? Remember my Uncle Louis and Aunt Anita? Yeah. We got like a year’s supply of that wine. It’s called Love Wine, Richard. Oh. Oh. Hey, didn’t they have sex on grapes? Ooh. OK. $2 million to clean up the toxic soil.

They died. Oh. Oh, here. Here, come here. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Subsequent testing will be brought to the nation’s capital. So for now, it appears that the only people… There! I wouldn’t want you to miss a single word that you say. I’m going to the island for the funeral. Alone.

Bringing you up to date on what’s happening in your neighborhood… [MOANS] This is Richard Charles reporting. [SIGHS] [MUSIC PLAYING] [FIRE CRACKLING] My dad says they have sex on grapes. He says they’re sick and they should be put away. They make love on the grapes, Brad. It’s not just sex.

Besides, I think it’s romantic. My dad says it’s magic, what they felt about each other. He felt the same way about my mom. And sex on grapes. Love is for puppies. Mr. Winemaker, I’ve got some grapes I want you to inspect. [MUSIC PLAYING] So, how’s your grapes?

Touch my grapes, and I’ll break your fingers. The king and queen of Love Wine were always busy with the business side of running the business, among other things. None of us asked about the other things. We just kept ourselves busy enjoying life in our Camelot. Is it for all of us?

Grandma Love, what wonderful sandwich creations have you made for us today? Thank you so much. Oh, you’re welcome. [CHUCKLES] Melaney, [STAMMERING] if your boyfriend is… Skin. What? His name’s Skin. Oh. Well, if skin wants to have something more to eat, I can get the grill going.

It’s no big deal. I mean… That’s OK. He just does that. What did you say his name was? Skin, Grandma. His name is Skin. That’s not a name. That’s what covers your bones. [CHUCKLES] His name’s Skin because when he was younger, he didn’t want to wear his clothes. There, is everyone happy?

I don’t make fun of anyone else’s boyfriend. Here’s the Flyers. Oh, baby… boom! So do you think you’re going to come back after college? I don’t know. I mean, I want to come back and see my grandma. Because I hear the city is a really big place.

Will you two kiss so we could get going? My bunions are starting to hurt just from watching you two. [MUSIC PLAYING] [AIRPLANE NOISE] I believed, with all my heart, that we had all come together to say goodbye to the magic forever. [SEAGULLS SQUAWKING] Friends, I’m glad that you decided on a private gathering.

These were very special people with a very special love. Jesus made wine from water. Louis and Anita made wine from love. Now they’ve gone on to God’s vineyard where they will love each other forever. I… I know that this is a sad time in our lives,

Mostly because we’re going to miss Louis and Anita. And knowing them, we got to see something wonderful. They showed us how one person could love another. You know, I’ve never seen two people that loved one another so much. Well, that’s all I wanted to say. [MUSIC PLAYING] He was such a good friend.

You were such a good friend, really. I’m so glad to see you again. Hey, is everything all right? Yeah. Are you sure? Mom, please don’t make a scene like you did. I’m a big girl. Don’t worry about me. There you are, Mother. I needed you this morning, when we buried your brother.

I’m here now. Now, both my boys are gone. I didn’t see your husband with you. Another one? How many does that make? I don’t know. I know it’s four. I’m counting. Yeah, I guess. When are you going to learn that marriage is about love, not about tax breaks and townhouses?

I’ve heard this before, Mom. I’m heading back tonight. Love you. Bridget, I’d like you to meet the Love Wine Corporation Board, and this is Mrs. Bentley. Hello, Mrs. Bentley. It’s nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. And Mr. Whitman. Hi.

Hello. I’d like to offer my condolences on the loss of your aunt and uncle. Thank you. I don’t know if Mr. Brooks told you, but you’ve been named as recipient of the estate. Oh, Louis and Anita have left the holdings to you. What about me? The will called for Bridget? All Bridget. Yes.

Melaney, you’re the default recipient. Well, what’s that? Well, if Bridget defaults for any reason, the company is yours. Yeah, like that’s going to really happen. Well, we better get going. Maybe you could stop by the office on Monday and we’ll get the paperwork done. OK. OK.

Thank you. I’ll be with you in a second. Take care. OK, thanks. Right. So, he gave the company to your cousin. Mom, you’re drunk. So? What makes her better than you? That’s enough. No it isn’t. Ever since my brother died, she’s been Mother’s pet. I’m not listening to this. You’re just like me.

You just can’t admit it. I am not like you. I hear what people on this island are saying about you. Everybody hears. What? The same thing they used to say about me. There goes that slut. Believe me, honey, you only get what you take. Like you? That company belongs to you.

I know it, and you know it. Do whatever you have to do to get it. That’s my advice. And I will uphold current practices of wine production. I’m sorry, Mrs. Bentley. I’m unclear on this. Oh, well that just means that you will make every effort to keep business running as usual.

OK. So will I have to move to the island? Of course. Why? Is there a problem? There comes a time in a person’s life, a crossroads, where your past crosses with your possible future. For me, it was simple. I just thought of Richard. No. No problem. [MUSIC PLAYING] Excellent. Right there. And there.

Sex on grapes. Why did it seem OK when Aunt Anita and Uncle Louis were doing it? When I pictured myself, well, you get it. Lawyers can dress these things up with fancy words. That’s their job. That’s what they do. But why not just put in big letters

At the top of the contract… this is a sex-on-grapes contract. A girl should know up front what she’s getting into. But, that’s me. [SCOFFS] This is asinine. You have a good job. My job sucks, and you know it. Well, you love the city. Richard, I hate the city.

The traffic, the crime, the pollution. You love the restaurants. They’re overrated. You said so yourself. [SIGHS] What about me? You know something, Richard? That should have been your first question, and it should have been… what about us? I don’t want you to go. And? I want you to stay. And?

What do you want me to say? Nothing. Don’t say anything, OK, because everything you say begins with “I.” I this, I that. I don’t want you to go. OK, fine. Let’s talk about you. What are you going to do? You don’t know anything, I mean anything, about making wine. I’ll learn. You’ll learn?

How are you going to learn how to make Love Wine? Lovers are gone, Bridget. What are you getting at, Richard? That’s the story. And you know it. The Loves make love on the grapes. Like, come on. That’s what made it popular in the first place. Now, who’s going to make love on…

[SCOFFS] [MUSIC PLAYING] Oh my god. Me. [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] After we talked on the phone, I thought it would be best if Melaney was here while we talked. You seem to be having second thoughts. Well, yes. I didn’t realize that you’re expecting me to… Have sex in a vat? [LAUGHTER]

Yes, Melaney, have sex in a vat. [SIGHS] And I finished reading the contract. I don’t know. Maybe if we moved it out till next season or… Admit it. You’re not going to fall in love in 10 days. Why don’t you let me take care of this?

Well, why don’t we just change the name to Slut Wine while we’re at it? No, I’m sorry. I… Oh, you meant it. Mrs. Bentley, I can’t do this with just any man. Like other people you know. Look. I want to make love the way my aunt and uncle did.

That’s the magic in the wine. Make love, have sex, it doesn’t matter to me. Me either. Just do it so that we can get on with business. OK. Excellent. In a week, the new line of wine will be introduced. She’ll never find a man and fall in love by then.

All she has to do is have sex. What’s love got to do with it? With her? Everything. She’ll never find a man without some help. Thank you, my dear. You’ve just given me a great idea. Oh, god. Cindy, get the Love Island Journal on the phone.

Tell them I’m looking for a few good men. Wait. Make it a hundred. [MUSIC PLAYING] [SEAGULLS SQUAWKING] [WHISTLING] How are you doing, Charlie? Hey, Zeke. How’s the vineyard? Going to have a good crop this year? Oh, the vineyard’s fine. Oh, yeah? How’s, uh… how’s Bridget?

Is she going to be up for this? Sorry? Everybody knows. I mean, Tommy’s doing a story in the morning paper. Oh, now that’s perfect. Let me see. She’s got 30 days to get it on with someone in a vat, right? [LAUGHING] I forgot how romantic you are, Charlie. [LAUGHTER] Well, I’ll tell you.

If I was 20 years younger, hell, I’d be in line. I mean, why not? It’s for a good cause. What? Honestly, what’s this island without Love Wine? Yeah. You should know better than anybody. I know. I know exactly what it would be like. More change, that’s for sure. Exactly. [WATER SPLASHING]

What about that boy of yours? You think he’d… Ugh. I could never get anywhere with him. He’s too stubborn. Huh. That’s funny. I thought he was kind of sweet on her when they were growing up. Ah, he… he doesn’t know what all of this means to us, to you, to everyone.

He just doesn’t get it. Well. Someone’s going to have to do it, son. Well, you know, this is not something that I could probably do now, is it? Why is that? Well, let’s just say that I probably can’t get my pole in the water anymore. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hold that. [COUGHS] [PAPER RUSTLING]

Give me that. This works? How many years you’ve seen me down here fishing, you think? Two or three, maybe. Before that, not too much. Mm-hmm. That’s why I started taking it. My wife used to complain all the time, until, uh… Well, you know. Now, I fish all I want.

Zeke. Careful. Love can hurt. I met Charlie, or Doc’s wife, and I did think it was peculiar that she always had a smile on her face. [CRICKETS CHIRPING] [ANIMALS CALLING] [SLOW MUSIC] Uncle Louis. Aunt Anita. Tell me what to do. How do I find love?

A short skirt and little makeup, and love will flock to you. Melaney. What are you doing here? I can help. I have experience in this area. Yeah, I know. A lot of experience. That’s right. I know the men on this island. Tell me what you look for in a man.

Do you know? Don’t you have a boyfriend? Of course I have a boyfriend. I’m just not sure. I’m just not sure if… If you really love him? Bridget. Bridget, we heard you were out here. Can we have a few words? Sure, I guess so. So, you’re looking for the perfect man?

Perfect? Um, no. Just one that’ll love me. OK. What qualities do you like in a man? Oh, let’s see. Dark wavy hair. Smoldering eyes. Luscious lips. A chiseled chest. Strong arms to hold me in. Washboard abs. Tight buttocks. And a really, really hairy back. [SIGHS] No, really, Monica.

I’m just looking for someone who will love me forever. [SCOFFS] Yeah, good luck with that, honey. What was that? Um, so how did you learn about the wine business anyhow? Actually, I’m afraid I don’t know much about the winemaking business. I leave that up to Zeke and Paul.

They’re the wine makers, and they also run the vineyards. And all you worry about is having sex on the grapes, right? Excuse me? No, that’s not all I have to worry about. I worry about maintaining a family-run business, and carrying on the tradition of making love on the grapes at first harvest.

There’s a huge difference. You know, I think this interview is over. But I have more questions. You know, if you want to talk about sex on grapes, talk to my cousin Melaney. Who? Are you focusing on my chest? You dimwit. Can’t you stand on a box? Can somebody get shorty a box here?

[PHONE RINGING] Isn’t this your Bridget? Don’t upset me. Oh, Carl. I have to take off for a week. Can you find me a sub? Sure. What’s up? Ah, let’s just say I have some personal business to take care of out on the island. OK. Maybe we can get Smith or Johnson or something.

Did you see this yet, Carl? It’s a top story. Oh. I was reading this this morning, you guys. Hey, you know what? This might work out really well. While you’re out in the island, you could do a little spot on this “Wine Queen In Search of Mr. Perfect.”

Yeah, I think that’ll work out really well. Bridget. Richard, what’s, uh… what’s Bridget doing out there? What’s going on with that? I… I don’t know. I’m not sure. Well, if this is going to be a problem for you, we can get somebody… No, no, no. It’s fine. I can handle it.

You’re a pro, buddy. Good luck. A real pro. [BIRDS CHIRPING] [KNOCKING] Good morning! [MUSIC PLAYING] [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] Hello? Grandma? Yeah, there’s like a hundred men at my front door. Oh, I’ve had that dream before, honey. Did you have sex with all of them? Grandma. Did you? I stopped at 98. Oh, Grandma Love.

Maybe 97, ehh What should I do? You know what? It’s OK. Um… I’ll talk to you later. Bye. Ooh. Goody. It’s nap time. Here I come, fellas. [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] I have some of my own pictures that I took. Yeah. OK. I don’t think I’m really interested in that section,

But I’ll get back to you. [LAUGHTER] You know… OK, well. You know, I don’t think any of you are really worth Bridget Love’s love, but that’s OK. [KNOCKING] [MOUTHING] Mrs. Bentley. Uh. Shall we get started? With what? [GASPS] Finding you a man, of course. Actually, I’m going to take my grandmother shopping.

Well, what about the men? You know, I’m sure you have it all under control. See you later. Grandma, we’re taking the back door out. [RADIO MUSIC] Dad, I’m home! There’s some lunch in the kitchen. [CLATTERING] [APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS] It looks like you had a rough one. If you’re going to borrow my shears,

Do you mind putting them back where you found them? This is, uh, something other than shears we’re talking about, isn’t it? Just put them back. The search is on, and Bridget Love needs a man. It’s the first day of Bridget’s “Man Call.” So if you think you have what it takes

To be her love king, head out to the island. It looks like every man on the island is down there. Except you. OK, I’ve had this conversation with you before, and I’m not doing it. Stay with us. We’re going live with Jamie Harold next. [SWITCH CLICKS] Hey, I’m not finished. I’m sorry.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING] I’ve got to think about these answers and see what she’ll fall for. This is Jamie Harold, and I’m at the Love Winery where they make Love Wine. Hundreds of men are expected here to vie for the affection of Bridget Love.

In just 10 days, she will decide who is to be her love king. [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, pick me. I’m the one. It’s me. Pick me. Pick me. Pick me. I’m the one. Pick me. You want me. Pick me. It’s me. It’s me you’re looking for. Don’t worry.

I’ll get you out of this alive. All right, back. Back. Back. Oh, get out of here. Go on. [CONDIMENTS SQUIRT] [THUD] I learned a long time ago to never encourage Grandma Love. The last time I saw that many young men was at a junior hockey… Oh, don’t go there, Grandma.

Yeah, like I said. Don’t encourage her. Dad. What are you looking at? You’ve got to see this. Why don’t you go down there, Paul? It’s not that easy, Dad. [SCOFFS] Yeah. You know, if I were 30 years younger, I’d be down there and I’d be… What? No. No, no.

No, it’s nothing. No really, what? Well, you know, it so happens that I was quite the romantic in the time of your mother. The fact is, you know, I still am. I know, Dad, but I… Paul, do you ever stop and think of what would happen if she married one of these guys?

What do you mean? No. Well, I mean, what happens to… to us. Who’s going to run the vineyards? What happens if they want somebody else? You want me to do this so you can keep your job? It’s not about the job. It’s about you and your future, our future.

Look, if I do this, I’m not going to do it for that reason. OK. Fill out those forms. Get your picture taken with her, and bring it back to me. Oh, boy. Step over here. Fill out these forms. Get your picture taken and bring it back. There’s Bridget Love! Bridget! [MUSIC PLAYING] Richard?

This is a circus. Is this what you wanted? No, this isn’t what I wanted. You know, all I’ve ever wanted is to be in love. And you think one of these… These gold diggers is that man? Hey, do me a favor. Go take some crowd shots or something. Please? Please?

I don’t know, Richard. Maybe he’s out there somewhere. Maybe he’s closer than you think. And that would be you? Why not? Because, Richard, in all the time that I’ve known you, you’ve never once said those magic words. You and your magic. [SLOW MUSIC] Marry me? Why? Because I need you. You know what?

Wrong magic words, Richard. [SCOFFS] Great. Thank you. I’ll take that. Jesus! Oh, jeez. Whoa. Those are actually really good too. Thank you for taking them. You know, he’s kind of cute, isn’t he? OK. OK, listen. Listen, you tell me what to say, I’ll say anything. Oh, come on. Tell me what to say.

Just say what’s in here, if there is anything. That’s it. That’s it. Have it your way, OK? Hook up with one of these local idiots. Even better, why don’t you get nasty in some vat and do whatever these island morons do! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] [CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY] Hey. Gotta go.

Hey, buddy. Who the hell are you? [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] Help me. Help, Bridget! Help! Watch the clothes. [WHINING] [GUITAR MUSIC] I couldn’t do it. Why? Because she doesn’t even feel that way about me, and she deserves somebody better. That’s not true. Paul, how could you allow her to marry some stranger?

Hell, I’d marry her myself before I’d let that happen. OK, Dad. And I can see you’ve thought this through. You realize she has to make love on the crop, right? Oh, I see. And I’m not capable? [CHUCKLES] Dad, Mom’s been gone for 15 years. When was the last time that you had sex?

That’s not your typical father-son question. Well, you started it. Huh. Actually, it comes down to, I don’t remember when. But that doesn’t mean I don’t remember how. Look, Dad, I really appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m not going to be part of the media circus that’s going on on this island.

Even if it means losing her? [GUITAR MUSIC] Well, I won’t let that happen. Would you forget your damn shoe! Look what they did to my designer shirt, man! You know something? You’re a real jerk. Oh, a shine would be so nice. You know what? Find yourself another cameraman. I quit.

Hey, need a hand? [GROANS] Well. Holy smokes. What happened to you? What about your shoe? My cameraman took it. Why? Because I got us beaten up by a gang of wannabe wine kings. Oh. Look. We don’t know each other, but perhaps you can help me. Sure. Help how?

Well, pretend you’re a woman. You know. [MUSIC PLAYING] [LAUGHING] I don’t think so, buddy. Look, I didn’t mean that. I just… I just wanted to get an idea of what it would be like for it to be… [LAUGHING] [CRICKETS CHIRPING] [PAPERS RUSTLING] Mrs. Bentley? Mrs. Bentley. Um, hi.

We’re actually just getting ready to go to bed. Are you almost finished? Oh, um… yes. Mm-hmm. I’m sorry. This is my grandmother. She’s going to be keeping me company through all this. I believe we met briefly at the funeral. Louis was a dear man.

I just hope that we can carry on with his tradition. Louis was even horny as a child. (SOFTLY) Do you remember the time I caught him in the bathroom? Oh. Um… I think it’s time for me to go. It’s been a long day. All you have to do is choose, my dear.

Just choose. [PAPERS RUSTLING] Just choose. [BAG ZIPPERING] Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Louis never liked her, and I don’t either. Well, Grandma, I guess all I have to do now is choose. These are affairs of the heart, dear. Don’t make it just business. [SLOW MUSIC] [CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Hey. So how’s the wine queen? Melaney, please don’t call me that. I’m sorry, OK? What are you so sorry about? I didn’t ask for Love Wine. Yeah, right. Like they’d give it to me. What do I know about love, right? Mel, when you were with Paul, did you… You left the island!

You’re the one that went and took off to the big city. And then you come back here and you expect everything to be all peachy? Maybe you’re going to take some walks in the vineyard or something with Paul? Princess, we’re not little kids anymore.

What you really want to know is if I love him. Not that way. Do you love him? I don’t know. All I know is that I definitely don’t love Richard. Maybe you should go see an old friend. [MUSIC PLAYING] [BIRDS CHIRPING] [DOOR CLOSES] [MUSIC PLAYING] [BAG RUSTLING] Oh, Paul. Do me a favor.

Pretend you’re a woman. [SPITS] I didn’t mean… I mean, just look at me like a woman would. What did we talk about, Dad, remember? At mealtimes, nothing like that, OK? All right. I’m just looking for your opinion. What harm is that going to do? I would love to help you out, but I

Have a lot of things on my mind that I’ve got to go think about, OK? Can’t you be like a woman for 10 seconds? Please don’t make me explain that. You look great, Zeke. Truly. Don’t encourage him. You have no idea. You’re definitely explaining this one. Run. Bye Zeke. Just run. Take care.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [BIRDS CHIRPING] Remember we did this when we were kids? Yeah. How come we were always with other people? I don’t know. You know, Paul, I used to hate it when you and Melaney would go off together. I hated those guys you were always with.

I hated lying next to them. I used to… Elbow them? [CHUCKLES] I know. They told me. Oh. So, why? Why are you doing this? You mean the wine queen thing? Yeah. I really loved Uncle Louis and Auntie Anita. Paul, what they had was so special,

And I guess I just want to keep that magic alive. By marrying some guy you don’t even know? It’s ridiculous. You know, you all people I thought would understand. I guess I was wrong. [MUSIC PLAYING] [BIRDS CHIRPING] So how is the selection process going, Shirley?

We’ve narrowed it down to a hundred men so far. The best candidates. Well, you only have two weeks. Can’t you speed the process up? I’m afraid she’s being very picky. She wants to be in love. In love? We don’t have time for love. Can’t she put the love thing off until…

Well, if she got to know these guys, maybe she’d be able to pick one. It’s a hundred men. Getting to know them is going to take some time. What if we delegated time to each one, say an hour each? I like it. Cindy, could you get in here, please?

An hour each. 13 men a day. Eight days. It might work. Sure, it will work. I mean, that’s all it would take me to get to know you, Charles. Sure, it will work. Cindy, could you get Miss Love on the phone, please? Yes, of course.

And then, a kiss-off on the final day, where she’ll select her dream lover. [SIGHS] Ow. Sorry, Paul. [BANGING] Oh, this is the perfect place. Come on. Let’s get some sound. Let’s get it… yeah, let’s get a shot here, a shot of me. What, do I look 6’5″? “Do I look 6’5” to you?

Why don’t you stand on the box? Oh, jeez. OK, you can put me down. Oh, yeah. Feet first? Yeah, that would be great. Feet first. OK, I’m ready. Just get it a little bit lower here. OK. Come on, Mike, let’s do it. Get your fuzzy monkey out of my face.

Fuzzy what? Settled. OK, Mike, ready? You good to go? Rolling. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hi. This is Monica Smith. I’m here at the Love Wine Winery with Bridget Love and the first of many who will compete for the love of the wine queen. And your name, sir? Dave. It’s short for David.

As we follow Bridget this week, viewers can vote who they think Bridget should choose. So tune in this week, and vote. You can win big on IPTV Channel 3. Cut. [MUTTERING] Bridget, right? Yeah. Is this where we’re going to do it? Huh? We’re going to do the hokey pokey right here? [SPLASHING] [LAUGHS]

Why’d you do that, you old fart? I’m going to get my grandpa to kick your ass. Sorry. [LAUGHING] Well, we’re off to a great start. I’ll be outside having a smoke. What’ll I do now? I think that you should go home and dry off. Did I win? I don’t think so, Dave.

Oh, I wanted to be the wine king so bad. Are you sure? Yeah, I’m sure. I’m… I’m really sorry. Hey, you. Hey. How’s it going? Fine. Don’t I look fine? Yeah, you look great. Thank you. Listen, I’ve got a good 55 minutes. Maybe we could talk? You want to talk? OK. [MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you. [CHUCKLES] So who’s the guy? That was Mrs. Bentley’s idea. I’m suppose spend an hour with each guy, and somehow, that makes my decision easier. So you’re still looking for love? Aren’t we all? What about you, Paul? Haven’t you ever been in love? Bridget. Bridget? Look what I found. Hi.

So at the end of the week, How is this going to end? Well, Richard, on Saturday, Bridget Love will have the chance to kiss each contestant, and hopefully there will be that one magic kiss for Bridget. Well, I guess we’re just going to have to wait and see

Who that lucky man will be. This is Richard Charles reporting for Channel 7. OK, got it? Good. OK, guys, out. Gentlemen, please, a minute. Gentlemen, shoo, please. Out. OK, what’s it going to take to call this thing off? Enough is enough. Call it off? Mr. Charles, you can’t be serious. I’m damn serious.

I’m the one she should be… Making love with in the grapes? Yes. Well, that’s up to Bridget Love. Our hands are tied. Mine aren’t. Psycho. [SIGHS] Bravo. What a performance. And you are? Melaney, Bridget’s cousin. Yeah, I’ve heard her mention you before. All bad, I suppose? No.

Why do you say that? No reason. You know, it seems that you and I share something in common. We do? Well, neither one of us wants to see her succeed with this, right? I guess. Then, maybe you and I could come up with something together. What do you have in mind? [CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC PLAYING] Come on. You have to admit. This is a cute little island. It certainly is. It certainly is cute. Just like me. That’s what you meant to say. Of course. Of course. OK, so let me get this straight. You’re saying that if it was just about sex,

Bridget and a whole lot of other people may not be too enthused? Richard, I guess it’s just sex to me but it’s love to the others. But we can make it about sex. Really? Melaney, my dear, you have given me a fabulous idea. [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] Oh, hi, Zeke. Oh, hi, Betty.

Everything all right? Oh, yeah. It’s just great. May I help you, Zeke? Uh, yeah. Thelma, I, uh, want to pick this prescription up for a friend. [LAUGHING] [MUSIC PLAYING] I see. You need this for a friend? Yeah, a friend. I see. It shouldn’t be that hard to find.

No, it shouldn’t take that long. [LAUGHTER] I need your card, please. Here’s your card, Zeke. Tell your friend not to take too much or, uh… Problem? OK. [LAUGHING] [CLATTERING] I just… Oh my god! He met someone. My god, you got to see this. Stay tuned for Richard Charles, live in the studio,

With a Love Wine exclusive. Yeah, I’ll do it. I told you I would. Action. Behind every Cinderella story, there’s always a dark side. As is everyone else, we at Channel 7 hope that this would never have happened. But, as journalists, our job, after all, is to report the news. Now, Sheila.

I know this is difficult, but please, tell the viewers what you told me earlier. I guess this is real. Well, like I said before, I met Mr. Love, Louis, about 20 years ago at… Oh. Oh. Paul, you got to see this! And we had sex just about every weekend since then.

Look at this. They… they said it was love between them, but he used to say he loved me all the time. Oh, you liar! And it was just sex. [SCOFFS] And there were other women too. Lots of them. I have proof. This is a setup. Lots. Oh, no. Bridget and Grandma Love.

Oh, I hope they didn’t see that. Oh, jeez. That’s all we need. [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Bastard. I know Uncle Louis did some bad things, but bustard’s a little rough, don’t you think? No, not Uncle Louis. Richard. Oh? He just had to dig something up, didn’t he? How could he have done this? Who, Richard?

No, Grandma, Uncle Louis. Men are like that, dear. Scum. Their hormonals get active, and whoosh, they have an affair. Louis was never like that with Anita. He really loved her. I can’t do this. It’s all been to lie. Love on grapes. How could I fall in for that?

Look at everything that’s happened, Grandma. Maybe Melaney was right. There is no love. It’s just sex. Love is for puppies. You don’t believe that, do you, dear? I don’t know what I believe, Grandma? You know, I just know that I can’t stay here anymore, OK?

I… I’m going to go back to the city, and Melaney can have the company. [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] [PHONE RINGING] Hello? Melaney, you were right. It’s just sex. I guess you’ve got yourself a wine company. I don’t want any of this. That was Bridget. And? She’s turned the company over to me.

[LAUGHS] That’s great! That’s great! I can do it myself, Richard, thank you. I don’t need or want your help. I know it was you behind the expose on my uncle. You just couldn’t stand to see me happy, could you? I felt I needed to tell you the truth. Felt? You can’t feel.

You’re not capable of it. You would never have done this if you cared about me. [MUSIC PLAYING] You know, I wish I never heard about you or Love Wine. [SCOFFS] Bridget? Bridget? Bridget? That’s really good, Paul. Very close. Very brave. Damn. Where is that thing? I can’t believe this.

One minute it’s here, the next minute it’s gone. Oh, Paul. Dad? Yeah? You’ve been down here a while. What are you doing? Oh, I just lost something, but it’s nothing really. But where in the… What is it? Maybe I can help you find it. Oh, jeez, I hope not. I mean, probably not.

It’s just one of those little things. Are you sure? That’s not it over there. No. Oh, yeah. Sure. Sure. Maybe the dust bunnies took it. Yeah. Or the coyotes. Who knows? Or the dingoes. Well, I think it’s Phyllis, the cleaning lady. I found out that local residents claimed to have seen Zeke’s dog

Tuffy chasing a whole pack of females and stated that it was obvious that he had more than just love on his mind. More pills? (LAUGHING) Yeah. My friend lost the others. Can you believe it? He lost the pills? Yeah, he lost it. [LAUGHING] I’ve got your information, Zeke. [MUSIC PLAYING]

(SOFTLY) More pills. Wow. [MUSIC – “ONE SHOT”] (SINGING) I’ll be the one shot into your heart. I’ll be the one. I’ll be the one shot into your heart. Yeah. Help me, I’m flying away, and I don’t know where I am. Help me, I’m flying away, and I don’t

Know where to begin to tell you how I feel. Is this real? So real? Yeah. Somehow. Some day. Somewhere I’ll be, I’ll be, I’ll be the one shot into your heart. I’ll be the one shot into your heart. I’ll be the one shot into your heart.

I’ll be the one shot. I’ll be the one shot. Here we go now. I’ll be the one shot into your heart. I’ll be the one shot into your heart. I’ll be the one shot into your heart. How’s it going, guys? Could I get you anything?

Yeah, I’ll get a glass of that Love Wine. Sure, no problem. You mean Stud Wine, don’t you? Yeah, or Slut Wine. Did you check out that new wine queen last night dancing? Oh, wow. Out of control. Shit. It runs in her family, that little slut. Yeah. Yeah, really. Love Wine. Yeah. [SLOW MUSIC]

This is Jamie Harold reporting live from the Love Wine Corporation. Today’s top story. Bridget Love has stepped down and has turned Love Wine over to her cousin, Melaney Love. Mrs. Bentley, spokesperson for Love Wine Corporation, has released the statement that they are more than confident

Than Melaney Love will perform all the necessary duties for the production of Love Wine. For those of you who have been following this story, since the tragic passing of Louis and Anita Love of the internationally famous Love Wine Winery, Love Wine’s future was put into jeopardy.

Being the heir to the Love Wine legacy, Bridget Love returned to her island roots to claim her inheritance. With this latest development, it now appears that the future of Love Wine will rest with Melaney Love. [MUSIC – “MOSTLY NOTHING”] (SINGING) Mostly nothing’s what I did.

I had a lonely little kid, was always screaming, I keep on dreaming. Mostly nothing’s what you said. [BLOWS] Melanie, hi. Hey, I saw you last night. Datin’, the wine queen thing. Everybody wants to be the one, you know? Everybody but you. Yeah. Well, I’ve been busy.

You don’t like me much, do you? No. I mean, that’s not true. I do. I like you very much. Just not like that. You think I’m a slut too? No. It’s not like that. I just think that ever since that you and I have been little kids, you have this thing where you…

It’s just your way. Well, I mean, maybe if you really knew me, you know, you could have feelings for me. I can’t. Can’t or won’t? No, really, Melaney, I… Just admit it. You wouldn’t be caught with someone like me. [SLOW MUSIC] I can’t because I love Bridget. [SLAP]

That’s for letting her live with that loveless prick for all these years. [SLAP] And that’s for letting her leave and not telling her you love her. It was the grape, wasn’t it? What? I knew it. As the race to find a king for the wine queen winds down,

The final event, the kiss-off, will be held tomorrow, hopefully bringing this search to an end. And Love Wine will be sponsoring the kiss-off with a food bar and free Love Wine to all participants in memory of the late Louis and Anita Love. Melaney? Melaney? Melaney.

They were meant for each other, just like my aunt and uncle. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just want someone to love me too, you know? And my uncle, he wasn’t a dirty old man. They were kind and gentle people. You have to listen to me.

Me and Richard, we made her tell those lies about Uncle Louis. I’m sorry. You’re saying your Uncle Louis, Mr. Love, didn’t do all those things? No. No affairs? No. And Bridget, if you’re listening, I’m so sorry. And there’s two people here that love you very much.

I’m one, and the other will be waiting at the kiss-off. You deserve to be the queen. Not me. And you can have Love Wine back. Well, it looks like things have turned again. And Bridget, if you’re listening, it sounds like the man of your dreams is waiting. That’s it. I’m Monica Smith.

See you tomorrow when we pick the king and queen of Love Wine. [BIRDS CHIRPING] [PHONE RINGING] Hello? Grandma? It’s me, Melaney. Yes, dear? You’ve got to get Bridget back here. She’s in Toronto. I’ve got bunions. She won’t listen to me. She won’t listen to me. I really screwed up.

There’s someone here that loves her so much. They belong together, like Louis and Anita. I’ll get him to the kiss-off. Can you get her here? You got it, honey. Thanks. Melaney? Yes, Grandma? You’re a good girl. Thanks. Richard? Richard, we need to talk. Why, are my ratings in?

No, man, this is important. All right. Go ahead. What’s up? Let’s go somewhere private, all right? Look, Carl, this is my home. These people are my family. I have no secrets to hide. Go ahead. OK, fine, Richard. You’re fired. Oh, Richard. I’m sorry. Oh, and so am I, dick. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE]

And this is… this is… It’s a horrible photo of me. This is a horrible photo of me. [MUSIC – “MOSTLY NOTHING”] They always say, what goes around, comes around. It’s nice to know that some of the cliches that people say actually come true. Richard’s not a bad man. He’s just a schlep.

I think that’s the word I’m looking for. Yeah, that’s it. Grandma? I don’t have time for chitchat. I’m here to save your life. Save my life? I’ve been on a bus for four hours, and my bunions are killing me. I’m in no mood to argue. Sit down. Grandma, I haven’t said anything yet.

That no-good Richard got that scuzzbucket to say those things about Louis. Melaney came clean on TV, which you’d know about if you had a TV, which I see you don’t. I don’t have a TV because I just moved in, and I’m starting over. And I’m still looking for a job, and…

Let me finish, dear. So she made things right, so now you can go back. I can’t go back, Grandma. Not after everything… Shh! There’s a man back there that loves you very much. What man? He’s going to be at the big kiss-off thing tomorrow. Are you coming? Oops?

Or do I have to carry you out of this dump? No, I’m coming, Grandma. [MUSIC – “SWEET WINE”] (SINGING) Your love is my sweet wine. I can get it all the time. Your love is my sweet wine. Sunshine went right up and down my spine. Your love is my sweet wine.

I can get it all the time. Well, well, well. Look who’s all over the television. I saw your speech. I never believed the stuff about Louis anyway. What are you doing? You need a makeover or something. Seriously. Why do I need a makeover for? Mm. I know you love Bridget.

You know you love Bridget. But does Bridget realize that she’s in love with you, yet? [SLOW MUSIC] You’ve got plans for me? Yeah. This has got to go. It’s got to go. What’s wrong with this? Let’s go. That dress is killing. You mean killer. Killing or killer.

Whatever. It’s beautiful, and so are you. Thank you. Are you excited? Yeah, sure. No you’re not, and neither am I. I’m not going to find love in a crowd of strangers, am I, Grandma? I want you to be with the one you love, and not just part of a kiss-off.

We’ve always supported you as a family. Louis and Anita would never have wanted you to find love this way. [SOMBER MUSIC] [MUSIC PLAYING] [KNOCKING] [CAT MEOWS] Yeah? What do you want? They say you’re the guy to come to if I want to buy a gun. So? So, I want to buy a gun.

Show me something. Hang on a minute. Get lost. [THUNDER RUMBLING] [SIGHS] Oh, hey. You’re the guy that lost his shoe. Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t recognize you. I found my shoe, and I’m losing my girlfriend. Well, you know what they say… you can’t win them all. I don’t like to lose. See you around.

Melaney, stop staring at me. Sorry. I just didn’t realize. You look good. Thanks. Come on. Let’s practice. Practice what? What you’re going to say to her. Oh, come on. I’m nervous as it is. Just… Come on. Just say it. I love you. With a little more passion. OK. I love you. [KISSING NOISES]

Ah, Melaney, get away from me. You’re a sick person. Meat hooks off. I know. But it’s fun. This island’s in a sexual frenzy as hundreds of men wait anxiously for the arrival of Bridget Love at the Love Line Kiss-off. This is Jamie Harold. I’m signing off, and I’m getting in line,

And I’m trying to get some. Dad, what are you doing here? Well, somebody’s got to rise to the occasion. It’s not only you. Oh god. Dad, will you hide that. Somebody’s going to see. It’s OK. It’s fine. I made him look good, didn’t I? Oh, Melaney. Hey. Yeah, he looks terrific.

Look at that. I’m a spitting image, huh? Oh, yeah. Right on. So, where’s the girl? She’s not here. What? She’s not here. She’s… she’s canceled. What do you mean she canceled? Oh my… What are you going to do? Join the Army. I’m going to shave my head, and I’m

Going to pray that I get relocated to the Arctic. And then, maybe in 50 years, I’ll retire. And then I’m going to start playing the lottery and then watching soap operas full time. That’s what I’m going to do. Soap operas? Well, they always get the girl in the end, you know?

Ah, yeah. They get the girl at the end. You know? All right. Sure. Do you want to drive me to the recruiting station now, or… No. But I will give you some advice. Please, shoot. Just put me out of my misery. Paul, you’re not listening. I mean, nothing has changed.

You wake up in the morning, and you’re listening, and you’re wondering, and you’re listening, and you’re wondering. But she still loves you, and you love her. But when you wake up, you’re alone and she’s not there. It’s a big world out there. You need somebody. With myself, it’s been your mother.

A great love. And now it’s you. Paul, I mean, at the end of the day, you’ve got to ask yourself… What have I got? What do I have? Why is it always about, what do I have? You always want to give something to somebody else. Don’t you ever do anything for yourself?

I’m not like that. Except that I am like that. But I don’t have to be like that today. Dad, you, in a strange way, are a genius. A mysterious and wonderful genius. Thank you. I know what I have to do. Yeah, you’re not bad yourself, Paul. Hey, I’ve got an idea.

Let’s you and me go out there and get them. You mean, you and me? Well, do you think you’re the only guy that can pick up a girl? Oh, you old salty dog, you. [CHUCKLING] Hey. Let’s go. I was told the Love Wine empire had become nothing more than party leftovers, discarded wine

Glasses, and broken hearts. [MUSIC PLAYING] Stop the contest! Stop the contest! Is this some kind of robbery? No. No, I’m looking for Bridget. Oh, didn’t you hear? Hear what? She didn’t show. What’s it to you anyway? I’m her boyfriend, you momo. [gasps] So you’re her boyfriend? You’re part of the problem!

Listen, toots, I ain’t the mood for this, all right? Listen. You’re the reason I lost my job today. And that’s not even a real gun! Yes it is. Is not! Is to! Is not! [BANG] Is not. [SQUIRTING] I cannot believe I paid a hundred bucks for a stupid water pistol!

Did you get all that? Mel. Let me take you to the man that loves you. But you got to trust me. Why should I? Because we’re family and friends. OK. Come on. [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] Close your eyes. I don’t know about this, Melaney. Close your eyes. I don’t want to close my eyes.

Close your eyes, please. Both of them. You have to trust me on this, OK? OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] Remember when we were young and we used to play those games? And Zeke told us how the love got in the wine. Uh-huh. Funny thing, love. Funny in that it finds you wherever you hide.

And how wonderful it is when your prince finally comes to take you home to Camelot. I thought we had a date. Uh… just… just checking on the kids. Uh… how long do you think they’ll be? [CHUCKLES] I think they’re going to be a long time. OK, let’s go.

[MUSIC – “EVEN IN THE RAIN”] So, do we get to make love on all the grapes? You bet we do. It’s going to be a rather long weekend, though. Well, but a fun one. Yeah, and Aunt Anita was right after all. There is someone for everyone in the world.

So why are you just sitting there? Go find love.