Every country has its own habits and way of doing things and French culture is no exception. Let’s learn about normal French habits that are normal in France but might be considered rude in the United States and other places abroad. French people doing these things in the U.S. aren’t deliberate efforts to be disrespectful or offend Americans. They’re acting appropriately in their culture, but cultural norms don’t always translate. When we travel, we can act however we want but I think it’s important to be aware of how our own cultural norms from our home country can be perceived abroad and then make the changes we feel are appropriate. And also to give foreigners a bit of a break because like I said, 99% of the time, people aren’t trying to be rude. Cultural education and understanding goes along way!
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Salut! I’m Diane, an American who has lived in France since 2012 and the creator of the blog/YouTube channel Oui In France. My channel’s focus is “Everyday French life and beyond.” I make videos on French culture topics, France vs. US culture comparisons, with a sprinkling of food, travel, and language topics and give you my thoughts about what it’s like living in France as an American in the Loire Valley. Thanks for being here and if you enjoy this sort of thing, please share with friends and subscribe!
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#frenchculture #culturaldifferences #livinginfrance
Bour welcome back to we in France I’m Diane and as you know French culture is known for its Elegance its delicious food it’s Rich history but some of the customs and habits that are commonplace in France they might come across as rude or even off-putting to Americans now these cultural differences they can
Cause misunderstandings lead to conflicts between the two groups and I want to get into it so let’s talk about French habits very normal ones that might be considered rude in the United States all right so I recently did a video that you all seem to enjoy about a
Bunch of American habits that would be considered Rude by the French so in the name of balance and all I’m back today with the reverse video what French habits might be considered rude in the United States so we’re going to get right into it with number one casually
Debating at dinner now what French people might consider friendly debate or lively dinner conversation might come across majorly rude to people in the United States French people they’re happy to bring up more heated dinner topics like politics and just debate their points with the the people around
The table and and friends they argue with each other maybe even throw a a few colorful Jabs they raise their voices and that sort of thing it can get really Lively in France but the difference is then by dessert everyone’s moved on the debate stays at the table and it’s all
In good fun it’s it’s a bit of a national sport for the French and definitely part of the French way no remember debating is not fighting to the French and it’s certainly not personal French people really they don’t get upset or have any hard feelings because it’s normal to discuss things in this
Manner for the French and you know you get a little fired up in the moment but then it’s over and done with and everyone’s laughing again there’s no grudges now in the US I’d recommend treading with caution if you try this and be ready for some hurt feelings and
People who definitely take this Lively French debate style personally many dinner conversations that I’ve had in France they would never fly in the US or be considered considered polite ways to interact Americans might take serious offense okay number two keeping a social distance from people that we don’t
Personally know very well and this is something I discussed quite a bit on my channel how the French separate social interactions into personal and public spheres keeping their distance socially with people they don’t know and and that means that the French are respecting the other person’s personal sphere it boils
Down to the fact that strangers they won’t be overly friendly or personable with people they don’t know as a way to not intrude now in professional context you know people like cashiers pharmacists you know employees you run into they’re not going to make small talk at the cash register or ask a
Perfect stranger hey I love your shoes where’ you buy them or to say hey what’s up how’s it going what are you doing later today is a way to make conversation that just really doesn’t happen in France between people who don’t know each other and on the receiving end I’m speaking from personal
Experience this can feel cold this can feel really unfriendly to Americans as if the brench person person is not interested in us at all we just seem to have more of a casual and friendly style of communication in the US I personally found this style of communication a bit
Rude and stand offish definitely cold until I was able to wrap my head around the the nuances of how the French interact socially they’re polite but reserved and that’s done out of respect for you number three directness now another habit that can be seen as Rude
By Americans is that the French tend to speak their mind bluntly a bit more direct directly and without filters in friends directness is valued and it’s seen as a sign of honesty and also authenticity but Americans can interpret this as rudess as insensitivity and we tend to Value others feelings and
Diplomacy in communication and in general I’d say the French are less afraid to share their criticism in all contexts and this could feel rude and hurtful if you aren’t used to being on the receiving end of it I I really even heard French people say things well you
Know I’m just being honest it’s the truth and yes yes of course it might be the truth but Americans might find that to be unkind and rude and at the very least they would lack tact and that’s definitely not something you want to be doing read the room all right number
Four not tipping at restaurants now if you’re not aware in the United States it’s customary to tip 20% at restaurants but not in France in France French people do sometimes tip but it’s not something everyone does always across the board and it’s never 20% at a restaurant and that’s partly because
French waiters earn a salary they don’t depend on tips to live and in general maybe it’s a good thing tipping is not as widespread in France as it is seemingly everywhere in the US and because of that French people don’t realize that when they travel abroad to
The us that they need to tip 20% regardless of how great the meal was regardless of if it was a fancy meal or something more casual and that’s because they’re not used to tipping at home but in the US it’s expected and if you’re not going to leave a tip at a restaurant
That would be considered rude but it happens all the time I know servers here maybe when they deal with French people other Europeans they can weigh in on if that’s been the case in your experience as a server waitress bartender do French people tip you in the US all right
Number five the sound in conversation now when you interact with the French this is definitely a sound you’re going to hear in regular conversation I’ll call it the sound and it definitely caught me off guard the first couple of years I was in France it’s a conversational sound that’s kind of used
Um in the there I go with um in the way that uhhuh uh-huh uhhuh is used in English like if you’re talking to someone on the phone you’re in conversation it affirms what’s being said you know he’s say uhhuh and it lets the other person know that you’re
Listening to what they’re saying you know that you’re still there that you haven’t hung up the phone and just to describe this I’m going to play an audio clip that I recorded with my French husband Tom just so you know what I’m talking about here before I continue and
Yes I’ve exaggerated the sound for emphasis but listen okay but unlike the uhuh in English the it always sounds like it’s a bit of an interruption and rushed and it always seems for me at least to come across abruptly and maybe it’s used more frequently than a uh-huh would be every
10 or 20 seconds and I found it so abrupt that I thought people were always rushing me to stop talking and I’m like oh they keep going and I’m like oh gosh what am I doing wrong you know but I realized that that’s not what they were doing this is
A normal French sound that lets you know the person you’re talking to is actually listening and it’s a major communication difference I have a blog post as well with audio of all these French sounds that I’ll link below if you want to know more they’re cool all right number six a
Negative slant to speech now if you speak French you definitely know what I’m talking about here just to give you some examples when you want to say something is pretty good you’d say it palal which which is literally not bad which means you like it so how’s that
Cake taste over there that your mother took all day to make oh is that guy good-looking well he’s push not ugly and this stands in sharp contrast to what you’ll hear in the US you like Americans maybe other English speakers we like to say everything’s amazing or great or the
Best ever has more of a a positive slant maybe over the top depending on the person but it leans in a more exuberant positive direction than in France hearing more of a half empty kind of thing it’s it’s definitely a change and you know even if you didn’t like the
Cake that your mom put a ton of effort into making most Americans would probably default on the side of saying oh it’s good or great or pretty good you know even if they didn’t love it because that’s the polite thing to say if you replied with a well not bad that would
Definitely be considered a bit rude I feel in English at least in American English but not to the French and a personal note my in-laws always get a kick out of it and smile a bit when I tell them how great their food is but I’m not lying I’ve never said oh it’s
Not bad that’s one French trait I have not picked up on I keep saying things are great because they are and here’s another example of this negative slant when the French mean maybe you ask a question if they can help you with something instead of getting a maybe
You’ll almost always get a no a no or first before you have to kind of finesse your way into a yes and this can be exhausting and come across as like overly negative especially when you’re dealing with the bureaucracy customer service really anything you ask for what
You think is something simple and then you’re told no only to ask four more times and four different ways and then you kind of work your way to a yes and I feel like it can seem like a waste of time a waste of effort if you’re not
Used to it just to be told no when it would have just been easier to say yes from the start it’s almost like a little game you have to get used to but that’s just how it’s done all right number seven not picking up after your dog now
Let me preface this by saying the French love their pets just like Americans vetare is fantastic here and plenty of French people pick up their dogs poop they do okay let me say that right out of the gate here they even sell waste bags in France a lot of parks have the
Dispensers that that give them out for free overall in the time I’ve lived in France it’s a little over a decade now streets and parks they’ve definitely gotten a lot cleaner over the years there is progress being made on that front and that is most certainly a good
Thing but but but and yes there’s a but the French stereotype and they’re being a lot of dog poop all over the sidewalks it does come from somewhere it’s not just something someone made up there’s still loads of French people who never pick up after their dogs especially if
The dog does his or her business in the grass you know not in direct you know in a direct walking path on the sidewalk and every time I go out in my neighborhood to walk I will absolutely see even on a 10-minute walk that there
Is poop that has not been picked up and yeah yeah yeah of course there are some Americans that are just as careless but it seems like if you don’t pick up your poop what uh your dogs po hope rather in the US people will shame you the default
Thing is to pick it up and I haven’t really seen that in France people being shamed by other French people and you know to Americans it’s super rude to leave your dogs poop on the sidewalk or the grass you know just waiting to be stepped in yuck all right and now for
Some very important context you know I try to keep my intro short here but there are some things I want to cover so first as I always say cultural habits and the ways other countries do things they’re not inherently good or bad or or right and wrong the French aren’t always
Right Americans aren’t always wrong vice versa no and I just want to say that this video and the reverse one I did of the American things the French find rude it’s not meant to put anyone on the defensive or to shame any culture we’ll find rude people all over the world it
Is certainly not nationality specific I also think it’s important to point out that no one tries to be rude no one goes out of their way to say I’m going to be a rude AWOL today you know but of course we can all have bad days and even more
Importantly French people doing the things I just just talked about they’re not deliberate efforts to be disrespectful or offend Americans when they’re in the US they’re acting appropriately in their culture in France but cultural norms don’t always translate and if we don’t know we don’t
Know and look when we travel we can act however we want you do you but I think it’s important to be aware of how our own cultural norms from our our home country can be perceived abroad and then make the changes we feel are appropriate and no not every French person does
These things nor does every American find them rude there’s always a lot of nuance and that counts for a lot so let that be said also I think when we talk about cultural differences and Norms uh abroad and all that it’s important to remember that we see the world through
Our own lens and that was created by our life experience up till now how we grew up our socioeconomic status our social class our home culture what we do for work you know everything and I think it’s so important as we we move through life and travel and continue to meet
People from all over the world but we step back and we try to see things as different and use that lens of a different culture as a way to understand and not Place judgment upon something we deem is rude by you know casting a snap judgment but by further allowing
Ourselves to learn about the Norms in other countries and and see how things are done and that way we can adapt our own behavior to be a better traveler to be better received and overall have a better experience so that’s my point of view that’s where I come from on this
Channel to that end for any non-french folks watching if you plan on traveling to France soon and you’d like a bunch of tips to help you prepare for that upcoming trip I have an egide it’s just a few bucks I’d love for you to check it out below it’s titled 75 beginner France
Tips for a standout trip and I cover tips for dining out transport money and all that good stuff that tourists are going to want to know to be prepared as always I’ll leave it there for today thank you for being here thank you for subscribing to my channel and uh
Interacting with me down in the comments I feel like I don’t I shouldn’t even say this but I just want to say if you choose to leave a comment please be respectful and if you can’t be kind be quiet see you back here on WE and France soon Salute
35 Comments
Tipping is an American import to my country, Canada. There is even a old joke about this: What’s the difference between a Canuck and canoe? Canoes tip.
What about the French, sans doute, meaning probably not what it literally says, without doubt? For that one must say, sans aucune doute.
We always said mum’s efforts from the kitchen no matter how good were just “not bad”. This is in an English Canadian family. Only when she got older did we start to praise her more, though, in fairness, that was because nobody else came up to mum’s level.
Gotta love cultural differences. Now, this is in Germany, but I think that directness is pretty much a thing all over continental Europe. A friend of ours has been living in the US for decades now. A little while ago, she visited her old hometown and brought her husband, an American citizen. We all went out for a walk and met somebody else who didn't know where to put her. So my girlfriend tried to explain where she used to live and who her parents were. When talking about her mother, the other guy suddenly exclaimed, "Oh, wasn't that this really fat one?", spreading his arms wide with the straightest and most innocent look on his face. I almost peed my pants laughing. 😂 When I tried to translate it into English for our friend's husband, who was left clueless, it almost came to a fist fight.
In the end, it wasn't meant rude at all—the guy just found a fitting way to describe her and was baffled as to how that didn't go down all too well with an American. 🤡
Bon Jour. Another great video. I would not find French behavior in France rude but do expect them (or anyone, including me) to attempt to follow local cultural norms when traveling. Just like when I travel to France, I start with "bon jour". If I'm in the UK, Spain, Italy, parts of the US, etc, I read up on local cultural norms. Am I sometimes perceived as a rude American? Yes. But at least they know I try. Must admit that the dog poop in France is bothersome so I spend more time looking down as I walk than looking at the beautiful surroundings.
Regarding tipping, I believe that in tourist areas in Paris, a server would expect a tip from an American and think them rude if one wasn't left. Sometimes local cultural expectations can very between locals and visitors. That can be to one's advantage or detriment.
3 years in France and the thing I did not meet ks the "mmm mm" part. Maybe it is not everywhere in France.
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Where is the border between tact and hypocrisy ?
American war's : since 200 years in all the world
THIS is rude !
Nothing can be as rude as having a president like Trump.
I fully agree with the French on these items
Because in the United States weight staff does not get paid a decent salary. They get paid something like two dollars an hour and they are expected to make up the remainder of that money through Tips and it’s wrong.
In French, the word "diplomacy" is a synonym to hypocrisy… We know it well: we invented western hypocrisy.
French also concludes big contracts while eating, they don't just discuss politic or religion, thus, avoid politics while in the south east like Marseille, Côte d'Azur or Corsica: they're overheating very fast, you're more likely to enter a fight during your dinner, let's say that Anisette like Ricard or Pastis make people more "hot" tempered, thus, white wine in the Noth-East make thing heat up fast, but not as fast as Anisette, it's more like Bourbon when it comes to get excited.. Best drink to go for if you plan to become violent, period!
In France, when you tip the waiter, it's because you get great service, but as you said, waiters get salaries, they're not paid on tips…
If you want to understand French bureaucracy, it's from an Astérix cartoon movie… Everything about our bureaucracy in 10 minutes😂i
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trkxjp0qERg
People won't put you to shame in the street if your dog poos on the grass, first, poos are biodegradable, then, you're 100% guaranteed that the person you put to shame will become agressive, you're likely to end with a reaction like De Niro's "Are you talking to me" in Taxi-Driver and get an avalanche of "birds names" : do not forget : French is the 2nd language with the biggest number of insults after Punjabi !!! If you think Frank Zappa's lyrics were offensive, it's just 10% of what the average French is able of! The closest thing you can make an idea from what it is, it's in Monty Python's "Holy Grail" with the French castle scene, moreover, insults are very sexual and the dirty way, e.g. kinda thing a French would ask DJT is if his hair his orange due to golden showers from someone with gonorrhoea, and it'd only be the start of a real deluge. People tend to be more polite in formerly German occupied areas in the N-East: you won't finish your first insult that you're already got punched in the nose!
People react very differently according to regions…
Oh gosh. I like French ppl. I like French debating. Vietnamese but I have some French habits that can be related to me somehow such directness tipping and saying mm mm. When you talk about directness it’s like you talk about me. Overall French ppl are cool
Being truthful in America could cost you your job.
Because a no it is No but people make extract effort just for you
id rather solve all millennium problems then try to not offend an american
C’est quoi le game en point 6 ?! Faut demander 4 fois les choses ? personne m’a prévenu ! 😂
« Not bad », yes but we say that with big smile and joy voice 🙂
I don’t like « mmh » sound because I have the feeling the listener is on automatic mode and don’t really listening or is bored.
If people are not aggree with me in a debate they loose point. I prefere discussion where everybody is ok and we share bitching testimony 😂
I am French and traveled a lot and I think French beeing rude is a bit overrated. It usually comes from Parisians who are often rude but even French people find them rude . I would say French people can sound rude to others and to foreigners not just for the pleasure to be rude. It is just that we don't make many efforts to sound different from what we really are. It is more a take it or leave it thing. And that we pretty much dont care about beeing qualified as rude. But honestly it is more a stereotype. If you travel outside Paris people are very different. Most of the times. Paris is not France it is a city and the capital of France. France is not Paris either. At the end of the day if you say to a French person you're rude they will say. Well I don't care lol. We don't make much effort to be pleasant if we don't feel like it.
C'est super intéressant comme vidéo ! Je reconnais complètement là-dedans toutes nos habitudes (à part le fait qu'on dise non ou "peut-être" par défaut et qu'il faille insister pour obtenir des oui ?) et je savais pas du tout que c'était des choses perçues comme malpolies aux États-Unis !
Europe and England are not America. Most people find differences refreshing, that's why we travel. We can also learn from this and hopefully become less bigoted.
Hello Diane, when you point out what do French people tend to talk about in conversations etc. could you also give an exact dialogue or situation as examples, cause I think this would perfectly give the picture of your thoughts and would make a great addition to these videos
I like French people. They are really sincere and it doesn’t look strange or rude for me. The same things about Russians. Every point is suitable for us.
Debating whole eating usually isnt civil but a food consumption preventer tactic, whether that's the intent or not. Ive experienced such forced rudeness among my kin. I dont like it. Eating should be exactly that. Isnt eating necessary? I think it's the wrong moment. However, im blunt, direct to ensure the other person comprehends the message as accurately as possible. I dont care of what previously unkind and rude to me people think or react. If they seemed of a foe behavior predominately, ill be sharper and less blunt with more rudeness as if it was the unwanted French dressing salad sauce. Thats one aspect of French I admire quite much!
My comments are being interfered with. Probably a rude American actually.
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I am french, and it is unlikely to see me doing the "mm mmm" in conversation. Results? Most french people think that I am not listening at all, freak out on phone conversation or get angered.
Americans find many things rude, because they can't be straight and honest. So for me it's better to be rude than a lying hypocrite.
US people are completely fake 🙂 especially in the professional sphere
"I am going to be a rude a-hole today" lmao 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I do sometimes wonder 😄😄😄
Yeah ..We are called rude by the most rude people in the world ..That’s just so ✨us✨ 😎
The French are the rudest people in the world no matter where they are. Yes, respecting personal space is important. Honesty is good. In Europe and other places in the world the tip is included in the price. Most of the rudest people I have ever met had at least one ancestor from France.
Americans don’t talk. Boring !