I WISH CHAMPAGNE UPON MY REAL FRIENDS AND REAL PAIN UPON MY SHAM FRIENDS!
Ahhahh, the French…champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence. This is a California champagne by Paul Masson. Inspired by that same…French excellence. It’s fermented in the bottle and, like the best champagnes, it’s vintage dated…
But, if you say it’s wine, I, Orson Welles, will come to your home and haunt your entire family. IT’S AN ENTIRELY SEPARATE SPIRIT AND THEREFORE, WHEN A CHAMPAGNE PUN IS MADE YOU HAVE MADE A PUN INVOLVING A DIFFERENT SPIRIT FROM WINE! YOU HAVE NOW OPENED THE PLAYING FIELD TO ANY KIND OF ALCOHOL PUN YOU WISH!
So, that being said…it would be whiskey of you not to enjoy this video. If you did not, I would consider you an Absolut goofball. This fact would be Everclear, as it would seem as though you had been Absinthe for all the jokes. Straight to your face, I would say, “You don’t know Jack.” Then, I would punch you…gin the face. You’ll scream, “What the ale?” as you fall to the ground. Don’t be sour…
Beer.
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