In today’s News-Show, we covered various fascinating headlines and stories. From John Wesley’s spiritual awakening in 1738 during a Moravian meeting in Aldersgate, London, which led to the spread of Methodism, to the enactment and eventual repeal of Section 28 in the UK, restricting the promotion of homosexuality in schools. The show delved into the daring journey of Amy Johnson in 1930, flying solo from Croydon to Darwin, Australia, and the shocking upset in the wine world when California wines triumphed over French wines in a blind tasting competition in Paris in 1976.
The show also revisited historical events like the battle between the Bismarck and Hood during World War II, the Sturer murders by King Erik XIV of Sweden in 1567, and the momentous wedding of Princess Victoria Louise of Prussia to Prince Ernest Augustus of Hanover in 1913. Additionally, it touched on the environmental impact discussion sparked by Al Gore’s documentary in 2006 and shared a humorous anecdote involving a church sermon and unexpected flatulence.
The program ended with a light-hearted look at tomorrow’s front-page headlines and a preview of upcoming stories, promising an investigation into the Lincolnshire potato famine of 1957 in the next show. The host signed off with a reminder to keep reading the papers and a humorous disclaimer that Newsbang is a comedy show created by AI, with all voices impersonated and nothing presented as real.
[Music] here are the headlines for this fateful day Wesley gets blessed at Aldersgate Fest no mo for local homos in the house Amy saws from Shores to the [Music] Outback plus a special report on on the worrying trend of nuns taking up cage fighting those are the scandalous Scoops for tonight keep it locked for more Shockers news bang carving away at the granite monolith of misinformation and deceit inde 1738 on this day in 1738 Reverend John Wesley a man so Pious he ironed his pants on both both sides experienced a spiritual awakening at a Moravian meeting in Aldersgate London as he listened to Martin Luther’s preface to the epistle to the Romans he felt his heart warmer than a Vicor vestri on a summer’s day Wesley who had been dabbling in legalism and doubting his own salvation was heavily influenced by the moravian’s Feelgood approach to Christianity this Eureka moment led him to preach a gospel of salvation by faith rather than good works alone a message that resonated with the common folk like a Gong at a silent Retreat his fiery preaching and Evangelistic Antics spread like wildfire across Britain the British Empire and even the United States causing an outbreak of methodism in the 18th and 19th centuries key principles of this new movement included personal piety social reform and the belief in Christian Perfection much to the Chagrin of Stuffy anglicans everywhere despite methodism eventually becoming its own denomination it maintained an onag again off-again relationship with the church of England Wesley’s Legacy lives on in the form of Evangelical Christianity and various reform movements proving that sometimes all it takes is a strange warming of the heart to set the world Al light figuratively speaking of course day to 1988 in 1988 the Thatcher government more conservative than aa’s pajamas introduced section 28 a law so homophobic it should have been called homophobe by law the ACT banned the promotion of homosexuality in schools which led to lgbtq plus groups closing or self-censoring as they didn’t want to be sued more than a closeted Tory MP teachers were terrified of promoting homosexuality as if it was a new flavor of fanta curriculums were whiter than a hen party in Iza and LGB btq plus issues were brushed under the rug along with the PE teachers Jim shorts cue the section 28 say goodbye campaign led by activists like Merill Streep in the closet and Elton johu in the face after years of protests and court cases Scotland repealed the law in 2000 with England and Wales following suit in 2003 section 28 left a legacy thicker than a drag queen’s eyeliner showing the dangers of government overreach into minority rights so next time you see an lgbtq+ person give them a hug just ask for consent or a safe word first 1930 on this day in 1930 a Plucky young English woman Amy Johnson took to the skies in her trusty DH gypsy moth a plane so flimsy it doubled as a vibrator for the upper classes with just 90 hours of solo flying experience Amy set off from cyen Aerodrome on a whim having seen a sign that read fly to Australia for a penny the 10,000m journey was fraught with danger navigational difficulties meant she landed in France three times before realizing she’d forgotten to set her Compass to sue East mechanical issues plagued her once forcing her to land in Baghdad where she bumped into an old flame Sadam exposure to the elements left her sunburnt and regretting not packing her Factory to 50 19 days later Amy touchdown in Darwin greeted by cheering crowds and a welcome to New Zealand Banner she’d missed the previous record by 16 days but who cares she was a woman in an era when women were expected to be barefoot and pregnant Amy had proved they could be barefoot pregnant and in the cockpit of an open air bip plane Amy’s achievement inspired a generation of women to take to the skies including Amelia Airhart who famously vanished over the Pacific while searching for her car keys the rest as they say is her story the drill news bang slicing through deceptions veil with the razor of veracity shanaka Giles our eccentric meteorologist always finds a way to inject some humor into his forecasts let’s see what colorful analogies he has in store for us today [Music] well it’s a bit of a mix bag tomorrow weather Watchers down in the South we’re in for a right soggy mess like a toddler’s nappy after a dodgy Curry rainfall totals could reach 25 in so you might want to pack a snorkel and flippers instead of your broy up north it will be a bit drier but don’t let that fool you the winds will be howling like a pack of rabid hyenas might want to batten down the hatches and make sure your granny’s Dentures are securely fastened and in the middle it’ll be a bomy one about as warm as a freshly microwaved Cornish pasty but don’t get too comfortable as the clouds will be thicker than a pub landlord’s accent in summary then soggy South windy North and a toasty middle sounds like a right old weather mashup so best keep your Wellies woolies and sunscreen at the ready and that’s all the [Music] weather a night to 1941 on this fateful morning in 1941 the German battleship bismar and her Cruiser companion Prince yugen attempted a daring breakout into the North Atlantic no doubt to spread Terror and indigestion among Allied Merchant Sailors but the Royal Navy was having none of it they dispatched the mighty HMS Prince of Wales and the legendary HMS Hood to intercept the dastardly duo in the Denmark Strait the battle was brief but intense with the bismar scoring several hits on the Prince of Wales while a salvo of German shells found their mark on the hood resulting in a massive explosion and the rapid sinking of the British battle cruiser the loss of the prestigious Hood was a devastating blow to the Royal Navy and the nation akin to misplacing one’s finest monacle but the pursuit of the bismar was far from over as the Royal Navy regrouped to continue the Chase and for more on this pivotal World War II Naval engagement we go now to our war correspondent Brian bastable the Roar of battle shakes the very fabric of existence as I bring you this report from the epicenter of Armageddon itself shells whistle through the air like the Furious breath of a vengeful God their thunderous impacts shattering the Earth beneath our [Music] feet I stand amidst a scene of utter Carnage The Twisted wreckage of once Mighty warships strewn about like discarded toys the acrid stench of burning metal and charred flesh assaults the senses a grim reminder of the horrors that unfold before us overhead the skies are Ablaze with the fury of aerial combat as squadrons of fighter planes engage in a deadly Dance of Death and destruction Tracer rounds streak across the heavens like Crimson comets their fiery tals leaving ghostly trails in their [Music] wake and here in the heart of the Maelstrom two behemoths Clash in a Titanic struggle for dominance the German Leviathan bismar its steel hide scarred and battered unleashes a torrent of thunderous broadsides upon its foe the Mighty Hood Pride of the British Fleet staggers under the onslaught her decks a wash with the blood of her Valiant crew a direct hit the hood shutters violently her towering super structure erupting in a cataclysmic explosion that rends the sky asunder shrapnel and debris rain down upon us like a hellish hail storm forcing us to seek what meager shelter we can find through the choking Haze of smoke and fire I bear witness to the Hood’s final moments her once proud Hull now little more than a twisted mass of mangled steel lists heavily to Port before succumbing to the icy Embrace of the unforgiving sea the waters churn and froth as the hood slips beneath the waves her thunderous death Nell echoing across the battlefield scores of her brave crew are cast into the churning Maelstrom their anguished cries lost amidst the cacophony of War but even as the hood meets her fate the battle rages on the bismar her gun still blazing turns her wrath upon the battered Prince of Wales determined to claim yet another prize it is a scene of unimaginable horror a testament to the unbridled Fury of Modern Warfare yet in the midst of this chaos we bear witness to the indomitable Spirit of those who dare to stand against the tide of Destruction for this is The Crucible in which heroes are forged where the metal of men is tested against the unyielding forces of annihilation and though the path ahead is shrouded in the fog of War one truth Remains inviolable The inextinguishable Flame of human courage Burns bright even in the darkest depths of this hellish Inferno this is Brian bastable bringing you the raw unvarnished truth from the heart of the battle of the Denmark [Music] Straight 1567 in a chilling turn of events that has left the realm reeling the deranged King Eric I 14th of Sweden has committed an act of unspeakable brutality in a fit of paranoid delusion the unhinged Monarch has ordered the merciless Slaughter of five incarcerated Swedish Nobles including members of the esteemed stura Dynasty the stura family a pillar of Swedish aristocracy found themselves ens snared in Eric’s web of Madness their very existence perceived as a threat to his crumbling grip on Power santura and his son Neils were among the ill-fated Souls who faced the king’s wroth their cries for Mercy drowned out by the clang of Steel and the gurgling of their own blood but Eric’s Rampage knew no bounds as even his own tutor fell victim to his unquenchable thirst for violence when the poor soul dared intervene the once revered ruler has descended into an abyss of depravity his actions a grim Testament to the fragility of the human mind and The Perils of unchecked Authority and now our correspondent Ken joins us from the blooded Halls of the Stockholm Palace where the Echoes of this tragedy still linger all right you scumbags listen up we’re taking a trip back to 1567 when that deranged lunatic Eric I 14th was King of Sweden this twisted freak was nuttier than a fruitcake Factory paranoid as hell and convinced the nobility wanted him gone well this psycho didn’t just lock up some big shot Nobles from the powerful stura family on bogus treason charges oh no that wouldn’t satisfy his ravenous blood lust on May 24th Eric and his goons barged into the cells and slaughtered five of those poor bastards like cattle we’re talking about Neil sturer his pop Swant and a few other unlucky sons of who were beaten stabbed and butchered right there in their crack amped cages and get this even Eric’s own tutor the guy who tried to talk sense into this raving madman got carved up like a Christmas ham for his troubles this bloody massacre was the ultimate Act of a king who had completely lost his freaking marbles Eric’s paranoid delusions about Noble conspiracies drove him to commit these heinous acts of violence against his own people this Twisted display of brutality was the beginning of the end for Eric The Lunatic his brother John rallied the nobility who were rightfully horrified by these sadistic stura murders in 1568 they deposed Eric’s deranged ass and locked him up leaving this unhinged monster to rot until he finally croaked in 1577 the stura murders will forever be a Grizzly reminder that unchecked power in the hands of the mentally unstable can lead to unimaginable atrocities 1988 in a move that has sent shock waves through the lgbtq plus community and Beyond the Thatcher government has enacted section 28 of the Local Government Act a Draconian measure that prohibits local authorities from intentionally promoting homosexuality this chilling legislation cloaked in the guise of protecting traditional Family Values threatens to cast a long Shadow over the hard one progress of the lgbtq Plus Rights Movement the implications are far-reaching with organizations and student support groups facing the Grim Prospect of closure self-censorship or legal repercussions for daring to advocate for the acceptance of homosexuality classrooms once havens of open discourse now risk becoming sterile environments where the mere mention of lgbtq plus issues is taboo and for more on this disturbing development we go now to our political correspondent hardyman pesto who is standing by with a report on the potential ramifications of this controversial legislation Martin I’m here at the scene of a shocking and quite frankly outrageous turn of events local authorities across the country have been banned from promoting the homosexual agenda pesto are you sure about that seems like an extreme measure absolutely certain Martin it’s all part of this new section 28 legislation that just passed no more gay Pride parades no more lesbian literature in libraries it’s being scrubbed clean I find that very hard to believe let’s bring in our guest expert to clarify Professor what can you tell us about this section 28 well the key point is that it prevents councils from intentionally promoting homosexuality as a pretended family relationship it doesn’t ban factual teaching about sexuality see banned they’re Banning the homosexual agenda that’s not a no more rainbow Flags no more Heather has two mommy story books it’s 1950s family values from here on out pesto you’re greatly overstating this professor section 28 is controversial but it simply stops councils from actively promoting non-traditional relationships it doesn’t prohibit homosexuality itself oh it’s a slippery slope Professor first the story books then they’ll be round up all the gays and lesbians it’s just like the nurmberg laws for God’s sake pesto you can’t compare this to Nazi Germany I can and I will Martin the Jack boots are on the March soon they’ll be burning the lesbian poetry in the streets that’s simply not true section 28 has nothing to do with the ashes of Virginia Wolf’s lost novels fluttering through the air like demonic butterflies pesto get a grip the professor is trying to explain the reality as I was saying it’s really about not actively promoting homosexuality in schools and Council services not Banning it outright is that what the Hitler Youth were told Professor that it was just about not promoting Jewish culture well we know how that ended up for the last time there is no comparison to the Nazis here whatsoever let’s return to the facts the facts are that Britain is sliding into a Neo fascist homophobic nightmare I’m surprised you’re not wearing a swastika armband Martin that’s enough pesto we’ll have to leave these choppy waters before we get demonized or should I say demonetized 1976 in a tale that would make even the most seasoned somier blush the year 1976 bore witness to an enological upheaval so profound it left the hallowed Vineyards of France quivering in their grape Vines for it was on this very day that blind tasting competition in Paris orchestrated by the daring British wine merchant Steven Spurrier dared to challenge the long held dominance of French wines little did the esteemed panel of French judges realize that their pallets were about to be assaulted by a most UNC and unruly guest the upstart wines of California in a Twist more shocking than a corked Chateau Petrus the unassuming Californian bottles emerged Victorious leaving their gallic counterparts to drown their sorrows in a vat of Bool Nuvo the 1973 chatow Montelena Chardon and 1973 Stags Leap Wine sellers cabinet reigned Supreme shattering not only preconceptions but also the very foundations upon which the French wine industry had built its reputation a true David and Goliath tale for the ages this vinus katar would forever Elevate the standing of California’s wine industry on the global stage and for more on this most unexpected of triumphs we go live to our American correspondent Melody Wintergreen who has been sampling The Spoils of victory in Napa Valley Melody it’s a night of dionan delight here in the City of Lights where a battle Royale of the vines is taking place the stage is set for a Clash of the Titans a vinous showdown that will shake the very foundations of the wine world as we know it in one corner we have the proud and hoty French vigon their noses held high confident in the unassailable superiority of their hallowed Tero Wars their wines like liquid Jewels have long range Supreme their Aromas and flavors the very embodiment of sophistication and refinement but wait what’s this A Brash upstart from across the pond dares to challenge the established order yes mesami the California contingent has arrived their bold and brassy bottles brimming with the audacity of the new world the judges a panel of esteemed French enophiles gather around the tables their pallets primed for the ultimate test the tension is palpable as the first bottles are un corked their contents poured into gleaming glasses their identity is concealed by the veil of a blind tasting swirl sniff sip the ritual unfolds as the judges scrutinize each wine with the intensity of a surgeon flavors dance across their tongues notes of fruit Earth and Oak vying for dominance in a sensory Symphony but wait what’s this murmurs of surprise Ripple through the room as the scores are tallied could it be have the upstarts from California truly bested the French Masters on their own Hallowed Ground the results are in and the wine world will never be the same in a stunning upset the Chateau Montelena chardonay and the Stags Leap Wine sellers Cabernet soeno have emerged Victorious their flavors and finesse outshine ing even the most celebrated French offerings the gasps of disbelief are audible the shock waves reverberating Through The Vineyards of Bordeaux and burgundy the unthinkable has happened and the world of wine will never be the same again so raise a glass mayami to The Underdogs who dared to dream to the Pioneers who blazed a trail Through The Vineyards of the new world for tonight the balance of power has shifted and the future of wine has has a distinctly Californian accent [Music] cheers news bang cutting through Fabrications with the Precision of a surgeon’s scalpel our Eco correspondant Penelope Windchime takes us back to the fateful day nearly two decades ago when a documentary Unleashed dire predictions about climate change sending shock waves through the environmental community that still reverberate today stop so Eco alert from Penelope Windchime today marks a most calamitous anniversary in our planet’s tragic Saga it was on this very date some 18 Revolutions of the celestial spheres ago that the Doomsday Prophecy known as An Inconvenient Truth first befell Humanity this apocalyptic Vision a dire warning cloaked in the guise of a documentary was Unleashed upon an unsuspecting World by the nefarious Al Gore a man whose very name strikes Terror into the hearts of all who cherish gaia’s verdant Splendor like a modernday Cassandra Gore foretold of a waking nightmare where temperatures would soore glaciers would weep and storms would Rage with unbridled Fury [Music] his multimedia Abomination featured all manner of Blasphemous charts and ungodly data profaning the sacred bond between man and nature with each shocking Revelation another icy dagger pierced the warm bosom of Mother Earth the polar bears wept in anguish their tears freezing into tiny crystalline harbingers of our impending [Music] doom and yet like a virulent contagion this Inconvenient Truth spread across the globe infecting the masses with its venomous message of environmental catastrophe suddenly the gentle Whispers of the trees were drowned out by the rockus cries of climate change activists their shrill voices shattering the Tranquil Symphony of the Wild even now after nearly two decades of unrelenting Eco propaganda the noxious fumes of Gore’s poisonous prophecy linger in the air we breathe but take heart my silven siblings we shall not surrender our hallowed forests and babbling Brooks to the doomsayers dire predictions with steadfast Devotion to our verdant cause we shall banish these inconvenient truths back to the abyss from whence they came 1930 Calamity prenderville here now with an astonishing tale of Daring Do from the world of [Music] Aviation all right let’s take a look at this remarkable feat of British Aviation Amy Johnson a 26-year old from Hull has only gone and flown solo all the way from Cen to Darwin Australia that’s over 11,000 mi in a plane that looks like it was built by a team of drunk mechanics now you might be thinking how on Earth did she manage that well it’s all thanks to the latest in British Innovation the Cen cuckoo this Marvel of engineering is a single- engine B plane that looks like it was designed by a committee of pensioners but don’t let its rickety appearance fool you this baby can really shift with a top speed of 95 M Amy was able to cover the vast distances navigating by the seat of her pants and a compass that was probably older than she was and when the old girl started to sputter Amy Just Whipped out her trusty hannes manual and fixed it up on the side of the runway brilliant of course the real secret to Amy’s success was the Cen cuckoo’s state-of-the-art technology a radio that could pick up Radio 4 from 50 paces and a fuel gauge that was accurate to within a gallon with these Cutting Edge features she was able to stay in touch with air traffic control or the local pub depending on the weather and keep that plane in the air but the real star of the show has to be Amy herself this Plucky lass from Yorkshire had the grit and determination of a thousand navies when her plane ran out of fuel in the middle of the Sahara she just hopped out gave it a good kick and it started right up again uh remarkable so if you’re looking to follow in Amy’s footsteps and become the next big thing in aviation just head down to your local Halfords and pick up a Cen cuckoo with a bit of British Ingenuity and a lot of elbow grease you too could be flying solo across the globe this is Calamity prenderville signing off for news [Music] bangal news bang separating the wheat of fact from the chaff of fiction Sandy o shoresy our esteemed Royal correspondent takes us back to 19133 for a grand wedding between Princess Victoria Louise of Prussia and Prince Ernest Augustus of Hanover a diplomatic coup uniting feuding Royal houses easy ah good evening to you all and a particularly Splendid evening it is this is your old pal Sandy o shoresy here to whisk you away on another delightful detour through the annals of history now before we Embark let me me extend a warm welcome to all the new listeners tuning in and to my regulars well you know the drill hello hello and Thrice hello tonight we’re journeying back to the hian days of 1913 a time when royalty still reigned Supreme and Grand weddings were the talk of every tea party from London to Berlin can you imagine the buzz the excitement why it was the social event of the Season perhaps even the ah picture this Princess Victoria Louise of Prussia the only daughter of the mighty German Emperor vilhelm II a lass with more Regal lineage than a whole parliament of peock and on the other side of the aisle we have Prince nnest Augustus of Hanover a strapping young lad with ties to the British Monarchy tighter than a corset at a debutant ball huh now this Union wasn’t just any old marriage oh no dear listeners this was a diplomatic coup of the highest order you see the prussians and the hanoverians had been feuding like two cats in a burlap sack ever since 1866 but this wedding well it was it was the Olive Branch that brought peace to the Royal households at least for a little while ah and what a spectacle it must have been I can almost hear the trumpets blaring the horses nighing and the collective gasps of the gathered nobility as the Bride made her grand entrance why I’d wager even Jr Ying himself would have felt underdressed amidst all that Pomp and Circumstance huh but wait there’s more this wedding wasn’t just a local Affair oh no it was a veritable who’s who of European royalty imagine if you will Zar Nicholas II of Russia rubbing shoulders with King George I 5 of the United Kingdom all while trying to avoid spilling their champagne on The hermine Capes of lesser Nobles it must have been a sight to behold I tell you huh and yet amidst all the Grandeur and pageantry there was a touch of foreshadowing a hint of the storm clouds gathering on the horizon for you see dear friends this this was one of the last great social events of European royalty before the world was plunged into the chaos of the Great War H but enough of such somber thoughts let’s bask in the glory of this Regal Union for a moment longer after all it’s not every day that we get to witness the joining of two such illustrious houses is it h speaking of illustrious I received a delightful letter from Young Timmy in kildair he writes dear Sandy I found a crown in mid’s toolshed should I return it or keep it for myself well Timmy I’d say that Crown belongs to someone far more Regal than your Dar perhaps even a certain Prussian princess or hanovarian Prince huh ah but the clock ticks ever onward and our Journey Through Time must come to an end so until we meet again keep those letters coming and remember see you later alligator in a while [Music] crocodile [Music] for the news bang shining the disinfecting light of Truth on festering falsehoods Dat 1738 in a development that has sent shock waves through the ecclesiastical establishment the Anglican priest John Wesley has reportedly experienced a profound Spiritual Awakening one that could very well reshape the religious landscape as we know it during a seemingly innocuous Moravian meeting in Aldersgate London Wesley claims to have felt his heart strangely warmed upon hearing a reading of Martin Luther’s preface to the epistle to the Romans this mystical encounter has apparently imbued the clergyman with a newfound Assurance of his salvation a Revelation that could potentially upend centuries of theological Doctrine and to shed light on this Earth shattering turn of events we now go live to our resident religious Affairs correspondent pastor Kevin [Applause] monstrance good evening my fellow sojourners on this spiritual plane before I embark on tonight’s holy oration brief Preamble if you will you see our esteem producer let’s call him Nigel crumple Thorn is a man of shall we say eclectic spiritual leanings why just last week he regaled me with Tales of his weekend Vision Quest undertaken by ingesting an exotic Cactus concoction from a new age shopkeeper in rotting Dean apparently Nigel spent the better part of 36 hours conversing with his spirit animal a platypus named Reginald about the metaphysical significance of whoopy cushions I fear our Nigel may be going through a midlife crisis of the soul but I digress tonight’s monologue is inspired by that most pivotal of spiritual Awakenings John Wesley’s famed Aldersgate experience on this very date in 1738 a yes that fateful Moravian meeting where Wesley’s heart was strangely warmed and the seeds of methodism were sown it reminds me of another unlikely vessel of the Lord I once encountered let’s call him Reverend Ebenezer clewe a portly chap with a pension for pork scratchings and a Wandering eye for the parish milkmaids if truth be told well one Sunday morning poor ebener was in the throws of delivering a rather dry sermon on the epistle to the Ephesians droning on and on in that special way only an Anglican Vicor can suddenly a rumbly commotion emanated from his ample midriff the previous evening’s repast was making its displeasure known you see try as he might to stifle these unruly gastric utterings the good Reverend sermon was increasingly punctuated by the most Unholy of flatulence the congregation God bless him endeavored to keep straight faces as Ebenezer’s cheeks flushed redder than the fires of Hades itself until finally during a prolonged passage on sexual immorality no less there came a tremendous gaseous eruption that could have powered an entire Foundry well you can imagine the scene hats flew off heads the church Windows rattled in their leaden frames poor Kurth weight stood there Frozen in abject mortification as the acrid miasma wafted over the pews until finally a sweet little old lady in the front row piped up Vicor it seems the Lord has blessed you with a most profound Revelation this morning well that simply broke the tension as peels of laughter rang out through the Nave even Ebenezer himself couldn’t stifle a sheepish grin as he realized the spirit or at least the digestive Vapors had truly moved within him that day so you see my friends spiritual Awakenings can come in the most unexpected of forms like John Wesley at alder’s gate we must keep our hearts and Minds open to being strangely warmed by the Divine even amidst the humblest and most fragrant of circumstances for the Lord truly does move in mysterious and sometimes quite pungent ways and just time for one final look at tomorrow’s front pages the times leads with SpaceX Dragon docks with space station they’ve gone with a big photo of the spacecraft there the guardian has George Floyd killing Sparks Global protests as their top story alongside an image of demonstrations while the telegraph opts for Nazi plot to kill Tito fails as their headline with a small black and white photo the Sun goes with their classic pun style SpaceX rocket blasts off to join astronauts and the Daily Star stays true to form with Martian sex Cults Target Brit teens that wraps it up for tonight’s show join me tomorrow when I’ll be investigating The Curious Case of the Lincolnshire Potato Famine of 1957 was it really just a shortage of Spuds the truth may shock you until then keep reading the papers tune in next time for more artificially intelligent hilarity news bang is a comedy show written and recorded by AI all voices impersonated nothing here is real good night [Music]