This week Damon’s going to meet a dead rapper at Area 51, Ted gives a history lesson on the French Wine industry, and Mac changes the board in a way that everyone, but Damon, will eventually regret.
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Okay we’re live he’s actually right about that yeah it is we do get some good stuff go ahead no I mean we’re live yeah we’re hello everybody and welcome to that checks out with Damon and Ted here at audio High podcasting studio with Brian here in the
Studio yes it’s me Brian put a new drop on the board and Damon’s going to be really excited about that besides that Damon what else happened in your week well first off Sun that’s added to our our mix coming in I want to know why Dan didn’t put that in originally yeah I’m
Very uh Dan Miss opportunity yeah yeah uh Healey’s house we’re going to talk yeah okay we’re gonna talk not more cow bell need more drum roll needs needs more calling let’s let’s start this that uh I don’t think people sit in this scene a lot so the
Mic and headphones weren’t on yeah and you were hitting the buttons and Mac lost his mind just started giggling having a great time smile on your face yeah I was like what what am I missing I put my head head phones on you hit it again because they’re not on I still
Didn’t hear it I’m like what’s going on put it on you’re still hitting the button and it Was yeah and I can feel it now at least 57 people just put their hands in the air and pretended to drum yeah yeah I think that’s what in the air like that’s what it means put your hands up and so when you listen to a podcast
There’s not a whole lot of interaction okay so what we’ll do for at least for the rest of this episode is we’re going to go ready and then we’re going to Go so when you’re in the car you get to do something fun okay all right especially if you’re a grown man we had this discussion if you’re a grown man over the age of 25 this needs to happen okay if you’re too if you’re too young
To even know what this is we’re not giving the anticipation of what leads into that but the song leads into that right and then you have to well we don’t want to pay for that that’s the problem correct but yeah there’s that all right here it comes it’s coming we’re ready
Get your hands ready here we go and it’s kind of like a roller coaster when it starts you’re creeping to the top you’re creeping you’re like okay throw your hands up and and starting now yeah unless you throw your hands up like you do care yeah and if you do you
Shouldn’t because that’s not how the song goes at all what did Tupac die for what did he die for if if we just throw our hands up like we care it’s not what happens is he dead well that’s what I figured that you were one of those
People that I believe you was that’s what I had you pegged for he’s at Area 51 I want lunch with Tupac when I’m on my deathbed that’s my make a wish and that’s my new one me and Tupac we got to wear matching do rags too we really do and I’m to
Pierce my nose anyway so we’re doing uh we’re doing a good episode here today I feel like we we haven’t started with anything but it’s going to get good it’s going to get good real fast God I hope so hey so this week I’m gonna tell you
About my week a little bit all right stop laughing Mac we’re not even doing this get Ready oh I love that so much okay I cannot tell you that I perk up every time I do that I literally I you set up straighter I’ve ever seen it’s pretty awesome well that’s the Viagra so anyway uh I’m in Jewel right and this lady
Excuse me we call it Jewels yeah I’m in Jewels I’m in Jews yeah there is more than one I’m in the family star so anyway I’m in Jews and uh I’m in the checkout line and this lady in front of me she has some kind of wine or whatever
And and she’s now I’m 45 mid 40s okay four five6 okay I’m mid 40s she was probably mid to late 50s okay still yeah 456 still 456 possibly 789 maybe 789 so anyway she’s buying this wine and the cashier who’s probably like 22 so she can because she can ring it out herself
So she’s over 21 she says literally how’s this how’s this wine and this is the response from the lady OMG you’re not going to believe this stuff no that’s not acceptable she’s too old to use OMGs well she’s too old plus you don’t speak that way okay now I do
This to my kids but my kids are 10 and 12 I like to make them uncomfortable so I do stuff where I be like I’ll go in the room and I’ll say something I’ll be like you know I might do this today I Decay and then I walk out and they’re
Like No And they start screaming at me but that’s me messing with my kids right she’s literally talking to another human being that is an adult because they they were able to scan out the wine so they’re over 21 and she said OMG now she’s probably twice their
Age OMG was said and I again I don’t have a problem with people texting it but that’s not how you talk yeah well I I guess it’s the same thing as when the people like and this is I get it’s a nervous tick but the people that laugh at the
End of their stuff because like there’s been no reaction they’ll say something like I’m like just just don’t do that just that makes it worse it makes it more cringey it makes it more Awkward your sentence was fine it just didn’t like it didn’t need a reaction it wasn’t
Like knowy it didn’t make me go om g i I know a guy that does a whole podcast that way he sits over on this side of the table yeah see right there no but I totally get it but it’s not like meant to be humorous it’s just like okay we
Well we were having a normal conversation I didn’t need to be prompted correct correct yes that feels like that same cringey thing where it’s like OMG like no I didn’t need that and I’m just a witness all I am can I get a witness that was me okay I’m just
Sitting there like and I can’t say anything but I mean inside your soul just crashes to the ground it’s like this is where we’ve escalated to that you are so engrossed in the maybe they’re Oklahoma made grapes maybe that’s what you me OMG oh the Oklahoma grapes sure those are
Great right oh they’re old Missouri grapes I can tell you right now I wanted to stomp her they’re old Missouri grapes and here’s a fact for you at a party the French wine industry almost died uh like decad like probably 1800s but they brought cuting from Missouri over to
Save The Vines and so that’s why the French wine industry still lives today so maybe may they were old Missouri grapes so you think she’s on to something no I think she’s an idiot okay yeah I was giving her a Lifeline but I’m not I’m taking it back well I I Decay
Either way I’m gonna tell you right now I’m I’m on your kid side it does makes your skin craw what the what was the reaction of the the young child ringing the first well she was just kind of like mortified she’s like oh yeah I’ll have to try it I was
Actually looking for more of a taste profile I was looking for oky or you know fruity or what we I wasn’t looking for you know like for like you know emotes yeah well first off that is sick AF yeah and uh it is not it is not OMG I’m just
GNA yeep this into your cart right right oh SK SK okay whatever it’s all good we went too far went too far so anyway what I’m saying is you can’t there there’s a certain age and and I’m I’m that age I so if she’s older than me it definitely yeah she’s
Listen if someone that was 19 and wouldn’t get off their phone other than to swipe you know to to pay and is sitting there like how’s this one OMG it’s so good and okay that’s age appropriate right but for someone who’s I don’t know menopausal that’s probably now we’re in a dangerous zone
I’m just saying I’m just saying OMG is probably not you know it’s not on the radar it’s not on the radar you know so but then I thought if if I really so I turn up my kids too how much want would you just buy one bottle no I think she
Bought a couple okay well that I was just like cuz if she’s that excited she only buyed one first off I’m not buying it right just so good I have one wine money yeah this is fantastic just can can I get a half of this can I bre this can I
Split this can I just get a cup you do the whole Chris Rock can I just can I just lick it off your finger how much for one rib how much for one rib how about I just lick it off your finger okay you eat the rib I watch then I lick
It off your finger 10 cents you know how do you what old Mac see when other people’s bits come on it’s okay but if Damon says his own stuff not funny at all okay get ready are we Ready that makes him smile I’ve seen that I know what he’s talking about that really is that that should be and again I mean it as a full term that should be our Rim shot like when something’s good at the end bab boom that should be it careful yeah but I
Also think they should put that like in places where you know anywhere where you see like people fading like maybe in church towards the end of the sermon you see people dropping off just drop one of these in yes well I just see all the dads like that have been like nodding
Off like whoa Jesus yeah we brought him we got him Colin 316 says yes hey man Phil iians yeah of course I mean the Genesis reference was right there but whatever really made that stretch and you got one day with his arms crossed I was more of a mic and the mechanics guy
I really don’t care for that yeah by the way if you don’t get these references that’s okay because you’re not mid 40s right so the other thing that happened this week um is i i t take kids for their physicals so Chuck’s going a freshman year she’s got to get school
Physical and and sports physical for football uh Marissa needs to get her school physical okay so now I don’t normally take the kids for physicals and I don’t know that I want to be in the room when my daughter has to discuss stuff with the doctor because she’s at a
An age of 12 where I don’t know yeah you know mean now they got to talk about pipe work and you don’t have that kind of Plumbing no no I don’t and I was a plumber and I I don’t want yeah I I don’t want to know anything about it so
Anyway um I step out of the room I said would you rather I step out because I could tell she’s uncomfortable so I’ll step out so me and Chuck stand in the hallway that’s one thing too when you go for a double appointment they cram my
Big my big butt in there with my two kids little table you know a chair and another person comes in the room it’s like okay this is like a bad guy in a tiny chair well I’m not even in the chair I’m standing but it’s like a bad
Game fat guy can’t fit in the chair it’s like a bad game of of phone booth though you know like everybody hold on okay I’ll move this way you move you know it’s like I want to take his reflexes I’ll swing the hammer you look and see
What happens you know it’s like what do you do so anyway fart yeah so we walk in so I said uh it’s funny on the way there so uh I said I saidou probably going to have to pean a cup and uh and Chuck’s like ah you’re going to have peanut cup
Miss you know like that and uh and I said well you’re going to have to crap on a plate that’s what I tell him right you know and he’s like what I go yeah I’m gonna fart on a picture I don’t know when it’s gonna happen but somewhere we
Get in the room and there’s this cool picture this little kid holding the flower and I go that’s the picture that’s the one and they’re like don’t do it dad if I get on the flower it’s extra point yeah so so you know we’re have we’re trying to have fun and keep it
Light because you’re at the doctor you know I never like going to the doctor especially when I was a kid you know because you like am I getting shots am I not I’m I went to the doctor so much as a kid it would just be like oh we’re going
To Second Home yeah cool not like the dog with the vet it’s like we’re going to the vet again yeah no where are we going oh that’s not McDonald’s this a doctor’s office you lied to me um so anyway so the doctor comes in now it’s a female doctor and so
She she got to do the physical on Chuck who’s 14 years old okay so she she she looks at now she tells Miss she goes Turn Around Miss stand in the corner she says turn around and she says okay she says I need you to drop your shorts and
She says now this is I’m going to use her words okay this I am already tense it is awesome okay I’m not convinced so she while making eye contact I’m gonna make eye contact with you while I do this okay but she says okay I’m going to touch your
Penis I’m a doctor and your dad’s right there it’s okay no one else should ever do this wait that’s what she tells him including him that’s so he tells me on the way home I’m like sinner that’s what I tell him you know I’m like don’t then
I told him I said Chuck you better marry a doctor someday but I’m not going on your honeymoon with you you know I was like what do you want me to say I want you to use your penis we had I am your I am your spouse and a doctor and your dad
Is right there so Chuck no one else should do this yeah so when that that’s exactly they said so when the doctor leaves Chuck turns around and goes man so that guy that’s in a white trench coat behind the dumpster says I’m a doctor I should just let him go like
That I’m like that’s not how it works son but he he had a lot of fun with that and even the rest of am I am I there right am I with you cuz that was contingent in the plan there was like so much added to this and your dad’s right
There no one else should ever do this you know now I I said just for the record your dad’s looking at the wall like your sister I said that’s what I said you know but the weird thing is is did did did she touch the sack because
There’s other things you need to yes yeah wait wait you know I have to have permission to touch your penis anyone can touch your balls they do not need to be a doctor and your father does not need to be present dumpster guy a okay I found this coat in
The coat rack in the waiting room what do you mean oh yeah no yeah I’m Dr uh because my pediatrician was female and there’s one there’s one visit where I was like okay we need to move to the adult medicine right I remember that
Visit I was like N Out well and he said he said Dad honestly the most awkward thing was she made eye contact the whole time he goes so it’s just really weird for to be like I’m you’re not doing anything wrong it’s not I’m like I understand yeah the ASMR thing part of
It and now I’m going to be putting this glove on yes because I don’t want skin contact with your penis so that was our joke now mind you my wife’s can hear that she’s gonna murder me so we’re in the car so we’re in the car also we
Might have to have mac do a little recording the guys are going to talk about stuff today no time stamp right now because I had my son and daughter in the car and we had a nice discussion because we had no Mom so we we really
Turned this up a notch in the car oh yeah she’s going to love that s anyway so anyway we’re in the car and and like anything CH he’s like like if we go to change a station he’s like it’s okay I’m a doctor you know what I mean he’s just
We’re just having fun with it right and I said I said Wouldn’t It crack you up though if like the doctor was like when she comes out she’s like that’s 14 patients haven’t changed my gloves I told you I’m gonna get to 16 today you
Know like that and I said I said cause Chuck she checked your mouth first that’s what I tell him and he’s like he’s falling out of the chair laughing and Marissa’s like oh oh you had that glove in your mouth you know and she’s picking on him you know what though I I
Can’t wait till when you go to the doctor bring him along so he can be like okay Damon I have to stick my finger in your butthole and your son is here but it’s okay cuz I’m a doctor and your son is right here yes and your P your PO is paying for
This and he discerns the Chug and he’s like look what you get to look forward to we can do it on both sides but my doctor’s creep he’s like look at it don’t you turn to the corner look at yeah he’s like no he’s all of a sudden
He’s he’s HK Hogan you know look at it brother look at it brother look at him winking you come on brother doc you’re in up to your wristwatch look at it brother you look at it it’s okay cuz you’re here it was it was so mellow and again I totally
Understand and it’s and it’s professional and it was but he said Dad could have done without he said just the speech of hey I’m sure there’s it’s someone said something at some point like ruined it at some point correct here’s the thing it’s like some people more people are worried about a doctor
Touching their child’s genitals than actually a doctor checking to make sure your child has healthy genitals that’s the whole point right yes yeah so now if they do if they make like yeah that doctor has to do the voice Ted if they come in as Herbert all
Right now I need you to drop your shorts it’s okay oh this is going to be so good for the doctor oh I’m going to love this oh ma is dying over there hey Mac you ready are you ready do it do it Again we’ll pull you out now that doctor has to go yeah right I’ll be the first in line to be like yeah he he’s got to go yeah your your coat says Denny’s on it I think you’re a chef and I’ll use the quotes right this time but no I I totally get
It but we had so much fun with seven years of medical SCH was worth it I tell you what uh yeah that no that’s not right no but it was it was very uh like like you said you know the the part that I thought was weird and you’re right
Somebody had to say something sometimes yeah so now it gets weird now starting now um no what was weird is when she said no one else should do this and it’s like you know he he’s 14 I think he kind of gets it that you know I’m gonna I’m
Supposed to protect everything okay but there’s certain things that I protect even more okay I I just here’s the thing though who was in the room at this point so my daughter who’s literally she okay that’s the only part I need to clar she’s in the dun cap she’s got her nose
In the corner I get it though but everyone laughed so she could have a conversation with the doctor oneon-one because of the awkwardness but they they left her in the room for your son’s junk to be out yes yeah you know what would have been great though if she would have
Gave the speech it’s okay because your Dad’s here and so’s your little sister so now it’s like okay this has to be a family outing every time because imagine if this had happened in the 1940s yeah when everyone had to like like there was no TV it was everyone was visual anyway
So it be like a radio play behind you like she could have visualized everything because that’s how great people were visualizing due to the like having to do that listening to the radio oh yeah that’d be so gross no but the so and and you hear a stage she goes now
Turn your head and now cough well he’s like kind of giggling so he’s like he’s like and I’m like you can cough better than that come on you know so I’m like rooting him on looking at the wall wait what’s going on over there oh no don’t get that wrong what’s going on
I think think Dr Herbert’s back in the room don’t be doing that I love the way though every time you do that voice Mac just starts cracking up I thing I can’t see it yeah it’s all for you it’s it’s well you can hear him though you can hear him and and
He’s just he’s got the whole you know how you just see the chuckle you know like the big dad chuckle you know he’s moving the body’s moving you don’t have to hear it he’s laughing um but but no so that was that was my week uh doing
That oh and then yeah I did get roped into one more tradition because tradition yeah because as we’ve talked about in the paraco household if you do something once and they they determined they like it it’s now tradition do you guys get out like the scroll yeah just
Like all right I guess it’s going on the par this is added to the parchment son you know someday you’ll hand this to your children no I’ll throw it in the fireplace I ain’t doing all that crap you know I’m not that stupid I’ll put it on the roll because it’s better than
That one plot you so we’re getting done and they go hey they go where are we going to lunch and I go what do you mean going to lunch every time M takes for a physical we go to lunch all right so so shoes it’s Taco Bell is the tradition where is after
You’ve had the cup and balls oh yeah so where where this happened to be first off I went to check on my pressure washer to see if they had one yet they still don’t have one they don’t know when they will and they’ve already gotten their truck okay trck truck comes
Monday yeah well there wasn’t one on the truck Monday but they didn’t know that I know that I know yeah I know when the truck comes I don’t know what’s on it correct I can work there yeah I have as much information as they do correct
Correct so anyway so they didn’t have it so I said all right you know I said let’s go over here I took him to Sonic cuz there’s no Sonic by us I just had I just had Sonic this week as well so I went to Sonic now I really like the
Grilled chicken sandwich so I I said I’m going to get a grilled chicken sandwich so we go to Sonic and I said you guys want to eat here you want to eat in the car I said even if you eat here eat in the car they’re like no let’s let’s park
So we do the car hop thing you know where you pull up so they come out and they didn’t bring Chuck his uh uh tater tots so I’m like hey and luckily it says like uh I don’t remember her name but you know Megan whatever you know is
We’ll be bringing your food it says on the screen so she comes out I’ve already paid she comes out she gives the stuff and she’s already gone like all I see is a screen I’m like Megan excuse me Megan you know I’m like hello and and Miss
Goes she’s coming back I said okay she comes back um well she got her fries I said I didn’t have any fries I just had a sandwich but I said he didn’t get his his tots oh okay I’ll go get those thank you so she comes back with those so I
Tell the kids we’re about done I said Hey listen I kind of want ice cream you know what I mean so well I mean you didn’t have fries or tots so you’re reward sure so I said I kind of want ice cream I said should we order ice cream
And they like they’re like yeah so we order ice cream so I order U three you know three whatever they they do and uh I ordered myself a large they got mediums large I didn’t have I didn’t have fries you know what I mean I didn’t
I earned it so anyway so uh they come out and they have the two mediums they have a small I’ve already paid uh little frustrated I said well that’s supposed to be yeah I just saw that on the ticket well if you just saw that on the ticket why did you continue
To walk up to the thing right you know and be like to die you know mistake well because honestly here’s the deal had had you given me two smalls and a medium I’d have been like wow these sizes really suck you know what I mean but you didn’t
You gave me two mediums and then hence a smaller size right okay and even if those are both larges cool I still need one that size you know so he goes here you can keep this one because we can’t and I said honestly I said I don’t want
It I I got nowhere to put it we’re going to drive home you know 20 minutes I’m like no I I don’t want it thank you and uh and I actually I didn’t pay out his pay right then and I gave him 20 or whatever and I said just keep the change
I said but I’d like the right size he goes okay he comes back with it and uh and we left and the kids were like you really gonna eat eat all that I’m like no probably not dude they’re like we can’t finish and you hear me straws on
The bottom like uh yeah I can’t finish either yeah you know we can’t they’re like you want me to throw your cup away no I’ll do it I’ll do it I’m done I’m done I’ll I’ll throw it away yeah you know yeah it was crazy but uh but no it
Was just funny because they come out and and and honestly he goes yeah I saw that when I was when I was coming out when I was walking over here then why right you know I would have just turned around and been like hey my best chance of maybe
Getting a tip from this dude or anything is to be like Tada here’s your right order or I would have just like put the one down yeah brought the ones that were right they’re still making years they’re still making yours I just didn’t want anything to happen to these real quick
I’ll be right back yeah yeah cover it up before you get there yeah I caught this mistake I wanted you to see it too I’m so proud of it that’s what I’m like that’s supposed to be large I know that too where do I
Win no no no no no that’s not how it works son that’s not how it works you get one shot you get one shot you you blew it yeah how was your week wow I don’t know I I can’t top this why even talking about turn your head and cough then N I
Will tell you that I got one quick story I guess I I rented a car because I’m traveling for work again this week yeah and uh I rental cars post pandemic are so horrible now and expensive and it’s not you well not the expensive part well that’s funny because it for some reason
The rate was cheaper this time than it was last time really yeah and then I get a call and they’re like hey you need to bring down proof of uh employment because we’ve had some people F uh post um corporate accounts online and they’ve been using it and I was
Like o okay I need to bring I’ve been running a car from you using this corporate account for 5 years now but now you need me to come down and show you that I work for this company he they’ve been posting it for five years
Online I want to be like I I think I I think the horse has left the barn my friend I think we’re past that point and I was like all right that’s your rule that’s fine um and I and I come down there and well first they they called me
For that yeah and then they said we got you for noon right and I was like yeah and then I said noon because I wasn’t sure when I’d get down there but because the the hours are so bad now it used to be they’d be open a little bit before 9
To5 and they’d be a little bit open a little later than 9 to5 now they’re basically 9 to5 good luck right it’s like if you work a regular job good luck written in a car because you’re not getting it you’re today was 455 sorry about your bad luck sir yeah so the
Coming we got for noon I’m like yeah I I should be there well something came up at work I didn’t get over there like I didn’t my lunch didn’t start at the right time so then at 1250 I get another call and I was like hey this is Ted like
Yeah uh this is uh this is some rental car place calling yeah we just want to know if we got you down this make sure you’re still coming I was like yeah you called me like 2 hours ago and asked me if I was coming to no I I I was like I
Gave myself a little window of time but I wasn’t sure when I going to be there and you hear the guy go like what are you do you do you get do you have to pay if the car is on the lot like I don’t this small Shake is melting sir
Right until then I get down there and then they’re like oh you’re paying with a corporate card well we don’t need your ID I’m like I’ve always paid with a corporate card like you God it’s so irritating yeah we don’t need your ID like they’re like the guy’s like do you
Need to take the insurance and the guy next to him is like oh he’s corporate all those it’s all is Corporate you don’t have to ask him those questions and I’m like why aren’t you helping me and he’s like I’m sorry we’re just training a new guy and I’m like okay
You’re training a new guy but you’re the guy that called me twice so who’s training you but but just like me and knowing the uh the place with the power washers like I could work down there I mean they’re going through all the stuff I’m like
Yeah I know I got initial three boxes going to sign one can we just move on past this I’ve checked the car I’ve showed you the giant scratch we’ve already like I’ve done your job for you can I just go now right but yeah it’s so
Like R how about if I train the new guy give me five minutes with the new guy I’ll be out of here and that’s the thing about renal car places I there was one period for maybe 18 months where the same guy was there and it was Heaven
Yeah problem is usually yeah usually every time yeah I rent I us I usually rent on average once a month and you almost every time there’s a different person yeah to see the same person back to back it’s like what are you doing
Here so for 18 months once in a row I oh Mr Wilson we got your car we know what you want and everything I’m like thank god let’s go they hand they would just hand me the keys and I you got I did you got spoiled because then there was one
Per one time for six months there was a person I gave him a good review and every time I gave there they upgraded me every time without asking and so I got used to having really good cars and now I’m back into like the do you want the
Toyota or the niss I don’t care it’s the same beige silver almost black not brown crappy maybe green slightly blue car right just it doesn’t matter yeah like what like if they were like do you want like the uh midin engine Corvette or you know like the uh Chevy Spark I’d
Be like well that’s a choice yeah like do I want the Ultima or the Camry they’re the same car who cares right I don’t care I will not drive white yeah I will not drive a white car they look dirty all the time no but I totally that’s an entry-level job from business
School so that’s what that is you get a you get a degree in business or whatever I’m not blaming them it’s just it’s it’s hard to have customer service if you never know the person that’s going to be there and they’re asking you because they don’t know that you’ve ever rented
A car before they’re asking you as if you’re day one I’m like I I do this every month and some people I’m sure do it every week right and it’s got to be super frustrating to be like okay well do you need the no I no I don’t need a
To pass no I don’t want you to turn on the the serious radio no I don’t want like yeah yeah yeah and this is just me like you know angry guy shaking my face you get it but but it’s true because it’s customer service and and and like
Now I realize corporate is paying for your vehic but uh I’m running a cars more than a trip in a little while and uh you you all fancy here well but I’m telling well I want somebody else’s it’s somebody else’s problem if it breaks bring me over yes I know every time
We’ve gone on a trip we’ve taken someone else’s car yeah because i’ I’ve done that one time and once Johnny once you know what I mean um but no so it’s the same thing though is is I look at the prices and what they’re charging I’m
Like wow you know and I realize it you know if you can get it take it I guess because I’m sure there was a long time where nobody was traveling off most of their Fleet to stay alive and now they don’t have any so the they can’t get
Demand is now out stripping the supply so they’re raising the price in Hawaii people are renting U-Hauls because it’s cheaper than rental cars yeah front of U-Haul throw your kids in the back I’m not back there neither’s a doctor kids we’re going to take the train tracks I’m not back there neither’s a
Doctor you better get your hands off I took every Frontage Road from here to Boston how I didn’t know they had front door they went that far oh yeah Mac Damon’s driving to Boston yeah going to Boston well I’m going different places but yeah that’s cool going to going to
What Hershey Pennsylvania Boston and then uh way back we’re doing pick me up a squirt while you’re there a squirt Oh Yeah from mer I’ll give you a squirt I’ll eat it right on you you’ll be fine these don’t taste grapefruit I don’t understand these these squirts are
Different I don’t remember I was watching I was watching something recently with commercials which is weird for me but they were talking about uh Great Wolf Lodge yeah and like it’s your uh it’s your drive to destination and I’m like well not for Damon yeah anywhere in the continental United
States is the drive to destination for Damon it’s my pass by destination hey grey wolf watch all right you’re only two and a half hours away well that’s nothing come on come on I let my 12-year-old drive this far um which brings me to a point I I almost forgot
So last week we were talking about hypnotism yeah I’ll make you this statement yeah if you go get hypnotized to the point where you can take a flight across like to the other coast yeah then I will believe works and I will go get hypnotized for anything you want really
Yeah but I can still die in that flight like it’s a risk I’m willing to take that that doesn’t change my risk what do I care look we’ve weighed the pros and cons our list is solid yeah our list just one checked out with dead and
Ted the the the consite is just death written really big and in red like like blood dripping off it well I don’t have to change any of the socials if I just leave it Tad and Ted that checks out w DT yeah well you’re still you’re still like Ted and
Teddy lipes show the second guy yeah who’s the well he’s dead but no that was uh I don’t want to change all the stuff right look new Ted’s kind of busy I’m doing tup doing two times to work on a podcast I don’t have time to mess around
With this I don’t have time for that you know I’m gonna hire a guy named Ted to do this for me hey so we’ve caught up on our week and we’re like half hour in so it’s pretty solid that’s pretty typical for us Mac you did some live sound last
Night you got anything else did more than six people show up yeah I was actually surprised cuz none of them were in front of me and I was kind of focusing there and I turned around I was like oh there’s like 200 people up there yeah maybe put that in your video
Freaked me out a little yeah I was I saw the video and I’m like I did do I did do a a turn that’s the one I saw yeah but but I laughed because I saw the video at first and I’m like I hope this is sound
Check because there’s nobody on the lawn do little Bonnie Tyler there M turn around every everyone’s behind me but I’m showing the front turn around so it was good though yeah yeah the last two sets it was like everybody’s kid was up there so they’re you know wild crowd
We’re all under 10 years old oh jeez it’s that’s pretty cool though this was a good time though no it’s cool it’s free it’s like the village of new lenx people can just show up they can bring their cooler they can bring their own food drinks booze like whatever he had
Nice weather for it too it’s super nice place yeah it was nice weather oh is this the thing you were talking to monster about that thing um in New Lennox yeah yeah okay yeah they do a Friday after 5 they do like the concerts there all the time really yeah okay they
Got zezy top playing there next week get out of here for real I might work on it really yeah yeah with the stage hand we tied up next Friday yeah we’re busy we don’t want to talk about it because we’ll talk about it afterwards yeah this well because we’re this won’t come out
Right since we’re hitting vacation paloa okay uh between Mac and myself and and uh and and Ted’s going to go uh just get a rental car and go to work but anyway but since we’re since we’re all going to be traveling yes we are uh we are double
Up yeah we know how that goes we’re going to double up on uh shows so yeah next time we’ll be in the studio uh will be uh a couple weeks from now so that’s pretty crazy so but no we are uh and we’re already ahead so it’ll be yeah
Yeah it’s kind of we’re gon be a couple weeks from when you’re listening to this so if this episode sucks which I’ve lived it it does in a couple weeks should be great because we’re have so much stuff to talk about yeah we’ll be we cut up on our
Week and we’re six hours in yeah yeah we did a we did a triple show today and we didn’t get to anything other than how was your day yeah we might we might have to take notes we we probably will take notes throughout the next well I do and
I take them in my phone and leave now so I have no inside Damon’s head this this week uh which is probably good I mean that’s good every week but that’s where we got this get Ready right so good stuff comes from inside Damon’s head I do have a fight me bra for the week okay this one here might be one of my favorite now I will tell you right now we’ve done some good ones like the Burton Ernie and the and
And that’s by the way I found a picture of that someone had a Twitter I Googled it was looking around someone had a Twitter of it actually happening so there’s some still shots of of basically uh Sesame Street throwing blows it was amazing I will put that up when that episode airs
Which it already did so you’re good you saw it right congratulations we’re in the now but anyway yeah is getting a little conception it is kind of weird um but so the fight me brought for this week all right this is uh this is the direct
Quote got drunk on Jager in college got angry at a stop sign for telling me how to live my life continuously headbutting said stop sign was not allowed to drink Jer again that’s the fight me bra of the week now you you’ve never been a big
Drinker right I have not and I’ve never fought an inanimate object yeah I can’t say I’ve done that either so okay yeah you gotta be pretty wasted right yeah I’ve been pretty wasted though yeah yeah there was a time in college this guy was like hey you want to K kill this bottle
Of Jin I’m like in the sink sure cuz I’m not a Jin fan but I was like yeah I guess I gotta I guess I’m still an idiot man I got to show you up right right so we went shot for shot on and then finally there’s probably a quarter left
And he was like I’m done I’m like like so I took it down cut to uh the next morning where we’re all going for breakfast and that guy’s sitting on my porch still hacking over the over the uh the rail yeah over the rail I’m like Hey we’re going to go
Get eggs yeah oh that’s that that mental thing has got to be the worst when you’re super drunk cuz eggs you know like people over like Hey we’re going to go get soft soft they that that texture probably all the way cooked over easy yeah maybe a little old
Too yeah but no I’ve never I’ve never fought in an animate object so I can’t in in the fight me brought Ward that’s that’s pretty good actually yeah you know um I can’t say I’ve ever seen anybody I I saw a guy one time pass out
On uh it was his birthday uh and uh he was was about four or five years older than me was he at work no he was off that day yeah it was a weekend so anyway was his birthday and uh he got so drunk I think I might have told the story
Already so I’ll just Cliff’s Notes they stripped him down to his underwear put a cup he was a huge socks fan put a Cubs batting helmet on them uh and then wrote on them right with permanent marker happy birthday dude you know whatever they’re writing stuff on them and then
They they didn’t draw like a nice Deck with oh I’m sure they did with the pool but it’s okay it’s okay the doctor was there and so was his dad it’s okay it’s okay so anyway then they decide they’re going to put him they’re going to pose
Him on the pool table for pictures CU we didn’t have phones back then but they’d actually like snap a picture with a camera and uh somebody shot the Q ball directly into turn your head and cough okay and didn’t Flinch that’s how bad he was out wakes up a couple minutes later
Says I want breakfast well we used to have what we call the rat the river rat remember out there so you’d go for breakfast at a truck stop which was not good yeah was not great but you’d go there because it was was food and it was open 24
Hours so they load him in the car we got two three cars of people going there we all get there he’s passed out to the point where he cannot wake up and go inside so now we’re all getting breakfast that we didn’t necessarily want okay we get out we’re going back
We’re almost back to the house and I’m I’m ready call night he wakes up and he goes when are we getting breakfast and he’s you know smacking his lips like everybody does when they come out of stuff and and I’m like uh we did you had
Eggs they were great oh man good I’m probably going to have to take a [ __ ] in the morning falls asleep again and he’s done I’m like I don’t know what else to do you know but you’re only you thought of that the first time right so I’m not
Smart I’m not super quick you know but that’s that’s that’s what we do so anyway it was just it was just a funny story because it’s like okay this this is that’s probably the drunkest I’ve seen somebody yeah um because I’ve seen people just pass out and they’re asleep
But to like keep coming out and then to see somebody again we just talked about how you probably protect your parts some parts more than others to to see a full-size Q ball shot uh there seems to be I would be alerted to that you know have you ever seen that trick where
Someone puts a quarter on a pool table and they’re like hey I can hit this quarter and it’ll hit these two balls and it’ll split them but it hits the quarter and bounces up because it hits oh CU you’re yeah you’re like leaning in to look at it it launches just high
Enough to go over the rail and that’s what it does well um we won’t name names but your cousin tried to do that to me that’s when he learned how great my reflexes are cuz the ball hit the quarter flew up in the air and
Oh yeah my hand just went and caught it right in front right in front of the zipper he and everyone was like I’m like yeah I I protect those thanks I put the but defense yeah defense we didn’t see your hand like that doesn’t matter yeah but I thought
That was a pretty good fight me brao that’s that’s a pretty good fight me I I I like that like I said I honestly not if he’s a buddy of mine no but it’s complete stranger I’d love to watch somebody head but a stop sign a couple
Times right you know a buddy of mine one time and all they have to be is like Jagger oh yeah sure I’d be telling my head to stop too sure well again I I’m sure he gave us the cliff Cliffs notes there but it’s like
You got to be there’s more than just you know he got angry at the stop sign for telling me how to live my life you there’s got to be a whole no you will not tell you know I mean there’s got to be a lot more to that you know oh yeah
That stops sign definitely was wearing someone else’s face that stops sign of Nick cage with John rolta that’s that’s what I’m saying yeah what did you no dad you will not put me in the doctor’s office with my sister [Laughter] again it’s not okay cuz they’re a doctor
That was a call back for yeah that was a call back for anybody paying attention hey so let’s you got time we got time for a strange story we got to do a strange story all right cleaning Ferry accidentally breaks into home and cleans it up now is this
One of a ferry that takes cars across a lake or is this like a fairy from Zelda so basically like the tooth fairy but this is a cleaning fairy correct okay correct uh so let’s see here it says if anyone’s ever going to break into your home hope
It’s this guy okay yeah U Can we submit addresses yeah I leave my front door unlocked and there’s cookies in the fridge yeah well not in the fridge in the pantry don’t get silly because I’m across from the police station yeah let’s not’s not make so get weird before
We even get into this story because I don’t I don’t know a lot about other than the title I can see me getting startled and getting woken up coming down going to defend my property and then saying you’re doing it wrong you know what I mean because that’s how I am
Okay I’m very anal about how the stuff gets done at my house like no right you could have stopped yeah I’m very anal was the was where the period goes in that s yeah there’s really yeah we don’t have to specify where you are you did not need to quantify that yes correct
Correct okay so location means nothing I’m very anal okay okay that’s just how it is but it says one of the wor was like yes yes finally I agree with something that’s not this get Ready Mac is Damon wrong no no correct that is [Laughter] correct for the love of God give me the answer B it’s correct so basically um the the house was locked um but the person that broke in is is Lewis Angelino III I see okay
Call trips yeah so so Trey Trey did a great job cleaning my house he’s from barington New Jersey he works as a clerk at a liquor store however to make ends meet he also fought a stop sign once no more his face I’m gonna clean up my act
And your house his face is a little messed up and tinted red but other than that we don’t know um he also runs a private cleaning gigs on the side one day in June he was on his way to clean a new client’s apartment however he ended
Up at the wrong address and unknowingly broken first off if you got to break into somebody’s house like I wouldn’t go hey cleaning guy’s coming let’s lock him out and see if he can get in right that’s not what you do yeah so he’s locked out that’s not a sign yeah yeah I
Mean he’s he’s bad with signs yeah terrible he’s on Jagger when he goes to clean you’re not stopping me sign yeah you don’t tell me it’s not clean mop I’m clean right now yeah I was paid to clean this house I will clean this out um jeder alive coming with me
So handed up with the wrong address broke into someone else’s house of course the residents of the home were shocked that someone broke in but they were also incredibly confused when they realized the place was impeccably spotless so you’re like somean out nope we’ve been cleaned
Up imagine calling the cops and be like okay here’s the deal so we got good news and bad news yeah you’re going to need to find a guy here’s the good news he’s probably holding them off you’re going to need to find the guy cuz I I’m going
To tip him but then he needs to pay me back for the locky bro what what’s his bond going to be cuz I’m going to tip him over and above that it’s funny you say this because I was invited to a uh a thing this maybe this week maybe last
Week but I didn’t I couldn’t make it but I was still on the thread and I could see people and someone’s like hey I’m here uh are we supposed to just walk in it’s locked two seconds later like um my door’s open and I don’t see
You so I didn’t say anything and the next day I reach start individual like I just like I’m sorry I couldn’t make it I wasn’t feeling well I just need to know was he at the wrong house he came back like yes he was and I was like oh
Delicious love it all so great like um yeah it’s unlocked and I don’t see you at all right so so uh so literally just like are we are we doing this are we so I wanted to to hand deliver uh we’re we’re we’re on a tangent now I wanted to
Hand what we do uh not checks out that’s what to a uh to a football player we just I just got done coaching uh in the spring and uh and he’s going into High School hurt himself last game of the season and then his mom actually took
Him to hospital he broke his collar bone his mom actually took him to the hospital before the game was uh when the game was over so he didn’t make the whole after speech and this and that and the hugging and the tears and the hey gonna miss you guys he didn’t he went
There for none of that so and he’s a really good kid uh he’s very quiet doesn’t say much uh but does whatever you ask him to do so I I told I told Chuck I said hey I says I’m I’m going to I get the address for his house well I
Get it from the head coach so I’m still I delivered this to the house no one was home even the screen door was locked which sucked because I’m like I can’t even open it and stick it in there you know I’m not going to go to their
Mailbox and mess with that that’s a federal offense that actually is a federal offense um but uh so I’m not going to do that but the UPS guy just showed up and put a package on the thing so I look like I’m stealing the package like like she’s leaving and I’m like hey
And I walk right up there and I’m like messing with the door first I I ring the doorbell I don’t hear it so you do the knock thing because everybody’s got doorbells that don’t work it is what it is so I knock no one comes I’m like man
I think I hear steps but it is what it is no dog no nothing so I’m gonna open the screen door and just stick it in there slide it you know so it’s kind of hanging out of it yeah wouldn’t work well and it’s it’s a really good screen
Door so you can’t like you know it’s got a nice you can’t can’t wiggle it in there either I’m like okay so here’s this UPS box on the on the on the porch so I go and I I basically stand the Box up where it’s the taped Edge you know
And I slide it in there so it’s standing up got the kids name on it and I leave and uh and Chuck goes well he says they’ll find it and I said maybe because if someone comes and steals that package you know what I mean oh this was really
Heartfelt this is nice you know who’s ow you know so or I got the wrong address you know and the kid’s across the street watching me he’s not 209 he’s 210 you know and he’s like what’s coach doing over there you know wait to do the whole
Thing and be like hey coach you know do you know them too what I was hoping you were going to say is that you dropped it in the Box to and it slid in there and then you looked at the label and realized it was the wrong name like no
That would have been good oh no now we are stealing P now we are getting in this box first off it’s only wrong to take male right this is not a federal offense this I’m just taking back my part yeah and these shoes they are wonderful I mean Chuck didn’t need shoes
Yeah correct Chuck we’re sending him back so uh so anyway back to Angelino yeah right right right so Trey all right so basically wow uh he he got the new client through Word of Mouth well the new client’s probably pissed cuz the new client’s house is still
Dirty right and he’s like where’s my money you know what I mean yeah he’s probably calling like uh you said you’d be here at noon yeah I gave myself a window I didn’t wasn’t sure okay so here’s the weird part client gave Angelina uh the address uh and said he
Left a key under the doormat so you get there it’s locked there’s no key yeah I think that’s unless there was like surprisingly a key at the other one and that’s how he got in oh oh there a key go further uh he arrived at the house he
Thought he was supposed to work with his cleaning gear checked under the doormat and what do you know there was a key oh I like it Ted look at look at per Mason here figuring it out Columbo so really you can’t blame the guy everything matched uh let’s see here he entered the
Town home very dutifully and got to work uh he spent the next 2 and a half hours cleaning the place scrubbing the stove mopping the floors after he was done he thought he’d spend a moment playing with two of the cats that were running around then he got a phone call from the
Original client and the man on the phone asked if he ever got around to cleaning his place since it looked like no one had touched it I said I’m literally in your living room right now playing with your cat and waiting for you to walk
In he was like Louie I don’t have any cats man in that moment I froze my heart dropped I was just like where am I right now what’s going on his friend came over and wrote a quick apology note to the home’s real residents before the two took off so
Like hitting their car sorry I cleaned your place that’ll be 119 bucks or the classic I’m writing this note because I hit your car and there were Witnesses my name good luck it’s really thank thank you for not being here thank you for no cameras so come and clean let’s see here
The real residents are Beth Mozel and her husband uh she said she received a panic phone call from her husband on the day when they got home it’s easy to see why the husband might have been confused the couple has been renovating their home so they expected it to be a mess
Imagine that guy getting in there going you didn’t tell me that construction going on it can’t be worse so than I’m right here playing with your cats uh buddy wait it’d be great right the first guy signal single right and this is a married couple he’s like so he’s cleaning up and
There’s all like he finds a whole bunch of women stuff and he’s like this guy’s cly didn’t tell me his all of his business you have a panty hose drawer and night gowns what are you doing right he called me in a panic said someone was here and cleaned the whole
Place that’s what her husband did oh that wasn’t in the budget and and the person left them a strange note it said that mysterious cleaner had accidentally entered the wrong house and included a name and phone number I wouldn’t have done that right well he didn’t say it was his name and phone
Number like the name for merrymaids or not even that but it’s like no I don’t want new carpet 5882300 what the hell am I calling today so moel contacted angelino’s friend who put her in touch with does Angelino not have his own phone why did
He put his own phone on there okay hey hey buddy like hey hey um it wasn’t me it was my friend he just wants to know he wanted me to ask you if you’re okay just check this box on a scale of 1 to 10 how mad are you
Right an eight okay well I can’t pass you but I can’t give you his number no you know what he’s not my friend don’t know him don’t know how you got my number hang up on yourself yeah so when he answers he goes hi my name is lwis I’m the guy that
Accidentally cleaned your apartment I just wanted to say I’m sorry and uh that’s what he texted him he text so he didn’t even call him he texted the guy back uh she was understanding though and said she felt bad for him since she knew the place had been a total mess uh she
Kept his number on file in case they ever needed it cleaned in the future well it did a good job then so wanted liquor I was say maybe that’s what we need to do with podcast then maybe we just need to like hey can I see your
Phone for a minute and then just start downloading our podcast on everybody’s phones like the screen saver is us you know and and it’s like every time you open it goes right to iTunes it’s like what what did you do I I don’t sorry here’s a note
Right I I was trying to call someone and this happened I don’t they gave me the wrong number I think I thought I had somebody else’s phone you just took it from me well that was someone else’s phone it is someone else’s phone yeah this one’s mine that’s someone else’s
Someone else’s yeah so but then the next headline I’m not going to read into it but it says do I smell a business opportunity so oh so you’re there yeah yeah what I I wonder what you we’d call that though where you’re breaking in you’re breaking in and cleaning you know
What I mean so so yeah I don’t clean break I don’t know I you know what I mean bad the clean break I I don’t know you know so yeah that’d be uh just kind of weird but they spent two and a half hours in there and and just
To to actually tell somebody hey I’m right here playing with your cats man waiting for you to get home uh buddy I don’t have any cats uh got some bad news for you good though we don’t need to discuss that panty hose drawer that either good
You know what I’m kind of relieved yeah o that answers a lot of questions because I thought I had it with the cats I was like oh I think I I think I know what’s going I thought only two you know wow that is a good business idea
Though maybe we’ll uh we’ll have to come up with that clean break and like like you have a bucket with like a crow bar hanging out of it so it’s like look we’ll get in we’ll get in okay and your place will be clean you know so hey uh
That’s actually that was pretty fun actually I like between the uh between the fight me bra and that that was a pretty good story The tangents yeah and the tangents yeah that’s the most fun so where where can they find us Ted they can find us even if you’re dead yeah
They can find us at that checks out wtt all across all the socials they can find us all that stuff at that checks out.net why your fingers crossed anywhere God I hope they can find us anywhere in any of the podcast streaming things just things things things and stuff you can
Find us on things and stuff I don’t know if they can do that what are you an idiot they can find us on all the podcast apps what am I a farmer yeah what am I a farmer just search for that checks out you can find us at audio High podcast Studio but
Don’t well that did that took a long time to be like wait what is he Saying I’m telling you right now that checks out Healey’s house that’s going in there it’s going in there get ready again here it comes [Laughter] You know when I put that sample on the board I wasn’t thinking about the future we don’t think about the future enough we don’t think about the consequences of our actions and I’m sorry folks but he loves that button that does not strange stories with Damon and Ted on the
Board oh really you ready you are Yeah yes just when I thought you couldn’t be any more useless you’re going totally redeem [Laughter] yourself and now to Ted with traffic well we’re in studio it’s not bad there is a line for the restroom though with traffic’s on the eights traffic’s on the eight there’s no there’s no line at the
Drive-thru because but when you get to the front don’t blame me oh that is my new favorite button I am going to abuse use the [ __ ] out of that button yeah thanks a lot Mac matter of fact what number is that on you’re going to want to move that around the board otherwise
Number 15 the button’s gonna be worn off you don’t want to move that one around it’s like pot luuck you have really tickled yeah yeah when I with my magic fingers when I when I wanted to sample that and I got on YouTube to search like in the air tonight drum
Phill yeah there is a startling amount of content one of them is like in the air tonight except when it gets to the drum fill it repeats for 10 hours oh really and that’s the one I sampled this from cuz it’s just that cuz it’s it’s cleaner
To pull it out of there and it’s yeah it’s literally a 10 I like all the Tik toks where they leave all the kitchen cabinets open and then they come around and it’s yeah yeah or the guy falls you know they fall and you hear that yeah
Yeah know that’s good stuff oh I mean definitely definitely gonna make my day